JamesTAG Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 Hello everyone, hope you’re having a nice day. I’ve struggled with my sexuality quite a lot until I found this forums, but now things got clearer. So first of all, after doing my research, I mostly identify with the semi-heteroromantic sex-positive asexual labels (I know not everybody is a fan of labels, but they help me feel part of something and more comfortable with myself). However, an aspect I’m not clear with is that I’ve never had what people call “a crush” (like you meet a girl/guy and you feel like “hey, I like this one, I’ll start talking to her/him”; I never felt that thing). I only have the feeling of liking somebody after we form some sort of bond (becoming close friends for example). Being asexual, the forms of attractions I feel, only after getting close to somebody, are aesthetic, sensual and romantic. So here comes the question: does something like demi-aesthetic (and demi-sensual) attraction towards people exist? As I seem to also feel aesthetic attraction towards somebody ONLY AFTER creating a bond, whether or not I objectively consider them beautiful. For example, I developed aesthetic attraction for a girl I’ve been getting close to, even though before that I didn’t consider her good-looking or “my type”, quite the contrary actually (but after forming an emotional bond with her, I saw her as beautiful). This makes it really hard for me to date people because I seem not to like anybody, so It would help to at least clear out the reason for this, and feeling demi-aesthetic attraction towards people would make sense, if that’s a thing. What are your thoughts? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 Some people need to be friends with a prospective partner before the romantic attraction can develop. It happens for both asexuals and people with other orientations. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
3Xi3X Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 Yes my friend. It is a thing. And based off your explanation, it makes sense for you to consider that. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grey-Ace Ventura Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 Yes, that's generally how being demiromantic works. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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