A Question For Sex-favorable Asexuals

[Winged Whisperer]

Assuming you're not aromantic, is the sex only "favorable" so to speak, with the gender that you're romantically attracted or with all people? Does how the other person look (not counting hygiene) have any impact on the sex being more favorable/positive/enjoyable? Any aromantic sex-favorable asexuals or sex-favorable graysexuals, or even asexuals who have sex but don't necessarily identify as "sex-favorable" are also welcome to answer.

[Philip027]

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Assuming you're not aromantic, is the sex only "favorable" so to speak, with the gender that you're romantically attracted or with all people?

Most of the time, they go hand in hand.  Not all the time; sometimes mixed orientations happen.

 

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Does how the other person look (not counting hygiene) have any impact on the sex being more favorable/positive/enjoyable?

Probably for most, yes.  For me specifically, no

[Skycaptain]

Replying in the abstract here. Whilst uncommon, split attraction does exist, whereby people are romantically attracted to a gender different from one they are sexually attracted to. So it is quite possible to be heterosexual and homoronantic to cite one example

[Iam9man]

22 hours ago, Winged Whisperer said:

Assuming you're not aromantic, is the sex only "favorable" so to speak, with the gender that you're romantically attracted or with all people? Does how the other person look (not counting hygiene) have any impact on the sex being more favorable/positive/enjoyable? Any aromantic sex-favorable asexuals or sex-favorable graysexuals, or even asexuals who have sex but don't necessarily identify as "sex-favorable" are also welcome to answer.

In my case yes. I think I need to experience aesthetic attraction before developing romantic attraction. Either aesthetic or romantic attraction can lead to sensual attraction. I think I need to get to that stage before I’d consider sex.

 

So yes, I need to be aesthetically attracted to the person to be favourable, which in my case is my opposite gender.

[firebird8]

I was in one long term romantic sexual relationship (although sex was infrequent) and a few very short ones. They were uniformly bad experiences and unsatisfying, but that's down to the men involved, who were basically all assholes and worse. I've thought a lot about it, and I don't recall being sexually or romantically attracted to any of them; what I wanted was for them to want me. Somehow I thought if the right person valued me I would be happy. 

 

In any case, when I was trying to find someone to want me, I did have criteria. Some people are repulsive, either by personality or by looks, or so insufferably boring or annoying or whiny as not to be tolerated. Some people with terrible tempers frightened me. That kind of thing. And, of course, they had to be interested in me, which cuts out most of the world, as in someone who tends to be invisible. Not that I'm complaining, it's actually a lot easier now.

 

As far as sex itself...I noticed it mattered where I was at in my cycle; certain days were better than others. I had to play this dance in my head where I didn't think about exactly what we were doing, because that was gross, but I had to concentrate on feeling close to this person, or I would lose the thread entirely and it would become actively unpleasant. And there's a lot of trying to work out what you're supposed to be doing, like what you should be saying or feeling or how you should be moving. None of that ever came naturally, though I can't say if it does for other people. 

[KoiFishShoes]

So far, definitely only with the genders I am romantically attracted to. Aesthetic does play into that attraction initially, but a nerdy personality is usually what keeps me there. (There is one person of that gender who I unfortunately love platonically rather than romantically but would still be open to having sex with. His personality very much trumps his looks.)

[Firefly8]

Depending on one's definition I'm a sex/relationship neutral or favorable aroace, but I've never had sex or a relationship. I'm pan-aesthetic and sensual, and open to pan relationships, though I don't have any active draw to be in one. I'm open to trying if asked out because who knows...can't know a negative (if not repulsed, etc).