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How to come out to your parents 101 needed


Temeraire

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Internet helped me realise that I'm ace five years ago (back in 2014 when I took "Are you asexual" Quizzes for two weeks, just to be sure) and there are still the old "I'm just making things up" or "maybe you're just a late bloomer" thoughts from time to time but it does get better over time. I stopped questioning myself for everything I did and I'm still unsure on exact labels (maybe demi?? and romantic attraction is just aro??bi??gay??who knows) but I decided not to worry about it as much. 

I went to Pride a few weeks ago with some friends and seeing other people with Ace flags adds five years to my life. They also (finally) started selling Ace flags at the booths there. 

I'm out to everyone except my family at this point and idk, why I'm super scared of telling my parents. Asexuality is not really a big thing in Germany and I doubt that my parents even know what it means. I did have to explain it to most of my friends and I'm not sure if I can handle if I can handle insensitive questions from my family without crying, haha. 

On a logical level I know that my parents love and support me (and probably also lowkey suspect me of being gay, which fair) but I'm also irrationally scared of opening up to them while I'm still financially depended on them (third year bachelor student).  They're super chill because they have never really asked me about relationships and when I say that I'm not interested they accept it. I do want to share that part of myself with them (mainly because I'm tired of pretending to be straight) but I'm not really sure how I can tell them that I like girls, have no interest in sex and plan to marry platonic live partner aka my best friend (who is also ace) of five years. 

Anyways, happy to meet you all 

 

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17 minutes ago, Temeraire said:

I'm also irrationally scared

so was I, even though my parents are just as relaxed as yours.

If they ask insensitive questions, you can always refuse to answer. As for starting to cry - that's normal in an emotional situation. Your parents should know how to deal with a crying child, having brought up at least one child. There's no need to be scared of being vulnerable if you can trust them.

Coming out to my parents was a bit awkward but being out is great. So if you feel it's safe, go for it. It's definitely worth it. Viel Glück! :cake:

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If your parents have a sense of humor, I'd suggest trying to come up with a list of witty puns and jokes. Laughter is often a cure all, and could help reduce the awkwardness bound to ensue.

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weethreequarter

I came out face to face with my mum, but I was so terrified of coming out to my dad. Not because I thought he'd react badly, just because it's such an intimidating thing to do. I'd already decided I was going to come out publicly via a facebook post, so I wrote it beforehand and emailed it to my dad a few days before I posted it, so he could see it first, and told him I'd emailed it to him. Because I find it much easier to get my point across in written words, and then you can get everything across without being interrupted. Good luck!

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Chocolatastic AroAce

How to come out to your parents 101

 

Step 1: Don't, it's none of their darn business.

Step2-100: Repeat step one

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NickyTannock

@Temeraire A belated welcome to AVEN!

 

When I came out to my Dad, I did it by writing everything I wanted to say in a note and handing it to him.

Perhaps you can do that same?

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Dungeons and Dragons Cake,

855e0d2e5aea5b0fd88183af7c7eebee.jpg

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