What type(s) of attraction do you experience?

[Salmiakki]

I don't really know tbh 

[RakshaTheCat]

Guess I could add cats attraction from myself, because cats make everything better. So if I see cats, I always investigate 😸

 

 

15 hours ago, Homer said:

No, I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with this bag of crisps. I don't know why you're shoehorning people into this

You want to 'consummate' this bag of crisps without any kind of romance? Very manly 😸

[Alawyn-Aebt]

20 hours ago, Marcin said:

So, hmm, how do they do that? Dehumanize targets of Trump's xenophoby so their fancy ethics don't apply to them? I've heard this is standard way of resolving contradictions like that, but I'm no expert...

Not quite, he justified Trump's statements on Mexicans by saying Mexican immigrants to America are not real Christians, since statistically-speaking Mexicans are more-likely to be Roman Catholic (which I guess he did not consider them Christian), and in his mind he, as a Christian, is compelled to treat everyone respectfully and equally, but also had to give privilege to other Christians. To me it sounded much more like "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others" sort of justification, but he saw no Orwellian overtones in his argument.

 

Was really interesting, I had no idea that some Christians do not consider Christians outside of their denomination as Christian, nor did I have any idea that he felt one could give privileges to others while still being equal. I had always assumed that privileges were the flip-side of discrimination; both contribute to inequality, but one is apparently more justifiable than the other.

20 hours ago, Marcin said:

What do you do if you encounter someone with whom you agree on things? Let's take being 'left-wing' as an example, what do you talk about with them?

All sorts of things, when I found a friend (well really glorified acquaintance) who I basically completely agreed with politically we discussed what sort of utopia we wanted to achieve, how to bring it about, is it possible, how would -- if we created a utopia right now -- its effect be on other nations and global foreign affairs, how far should we compromise, how can we change the world for the better right now if a utopia is not possible, etc. More narrow discussions would be how to solve [fill in blank]. Examples would be Syria, Immigration, South China Sea tensions, Iran, Poverty in undeveloped Sub-Saharan African nations, etc. Basically rather than try to discuss and underpinning point as I do with people I disagree with, to those I agree with I tend to go more practical -- how can be reach the point we both want to get to.

[RakshaTheCat]

15 minutes ago, Aebt said:

Basically rather than try to discuss and underpinning point as I do with people I disagree with, to those I agree with I tend to go more practical -- how can be reach the point we both want to get to.

That's interesting, I love being practical! What are your results, is there anything that can be done? Which of the issues would be the most important for you?
 

BDW, if you still want to discuss things, maybe we should split it to different thread? We are making kinda OT here... 😸

[Alawyn-Aebt]

3 hours ago, Marcin said:

That's interesting, I love being practical! What are your results, is there anything that can be done? Which of the issues would be the most important for you?
 

BDW, if you still want to discuss things, maybe we should split it to different thread? We are making kinda OT here... 😸

I tend to think things can be done, but I do have a habit of leaning towards long-run optimism. To be honest if there is a major issue that needs solving I pretty much enjoy it all.

 

If you want to continue talking that might be a good idea, this thread took a direct turn away from the stated subject.

[rawersace]

y’all i for real didn’t know what alterous attraction meant until right now. AND I THANK U FOR SHOWING ME THE LIGHT! i’ve finally found a word for what i’ve experienced a good portion of my life.

[Anonymous Axolotl]

2 hours ago, rawersace said:

y’all i for real didn’t know what alterous attraction meant until right now. AND I THANK U FOR SHOWING ME THE LIGHT! i’ve finally found a word for what i’ve experienced a good portion of my life.

You're welcome! I'll admit that I don't quite understand the term myself (so I'm assuming I don't experience it) but I decided to include it as an option anyway since I've seen others mention it in the past. That's great that you found it fits you!

[rawersace]

8 minutes ago, Anonymous Axolotl said:

You're welcome! I'll admit that I don't quite understand the term myself (so I'm assuming I don't experience it) but I decided to include it as an option anyway since I've seen others mention it in the past. That's great that you found it fits you!

it is very confusing if i would say so myself! i always experienced crushes that weren’t quite romantic but not really platonic either, so it was just that grey area in the middle where you just admire the person, almost romantically but not really. i thought i was just weird for this, but it’s actually a real thing. so yea thank u!

[anzu2snow]

Queerplatonic, emotional, platonic, aesthetic, and not sure about alterous. When I realized I was aro ace, I thought about what I do experience. I would love a qpr. I do get huge squishes on others. The gender doesn’t matter, so in this sense I’m pan. I’ve found a new way of saying it: oriented pan aro ace. I’m very attracted aesthetically to men or masculine people. 

[BambooRiver]

I dont experience any sort of attraction to other people. 

 

I do, however, love running my hands through my cat's fur and hugging the big loaf so there's that lol 

[CelesteAdAstra]

All kinds except sexual, although I still struggle to understand the exact difference between alterous and queerplatonic. I have felt at least one of them, but I'm not sure which one.

 

(There's another type of attraction I've read about which I don't experience: social attraction. the desire for social interactions. Not the same as platonic. I love my friends, but I never ever want to take part in social gatherings.)

[Strifed]

The definition of alterous attraction kinda confuses me (I never heard of it so looked it up, and sounds like a QPR? But... it's also not a QPR and I don't get it? lol), but I experience aesthetic attraction towards guys, platonic, queerplatonic, and "other". Other would be attraction to fictional characters  it's a sensual, sexual, romantic thing with them 🤷‍♀️

[TheAP]

Aesthetic, platonic, sometimes sensual, and maybe romantic or alterous but I'm not sure.

[QuirkyGeek]

I experience sensual, alterous and/or queerplatonic, platonic, and aesthetic attraction.

[no-longer-in-use]

I experience romantic, aesthetic, sensual, and platonic attraction.

[I, Joan]

Queerplatonic is definitely the strongest for me, though not my most common. Along with that, I get platonic, emotional, and aesthetic. 

[GayShayy]

Dude, this is the first time I've ever heard the term "Alterous attraction," and holy shit I didn't know there was a label for it.

[Guest]

I experience aesthetic attraction (I can tell when people are nice to look at) and most importantly, platonic attraction. Interestingly, all of my past 'crushes' were in fact platonic crushes! (and since they all happened to be male, I thought I was straight.) Right now, I have a massive platonic crush on Phil Lester. He's just so cool! 😁

[kiaroskuro]

On 7/14/2019 at 4:31 AM, CBC said:

I think it's weird the way we use the word 'attraction' here. Generally, when it comes to people, attraction refers to romance and sex. It's strange to use it in a much wider sense. Like... yes, technically I'm "attracted" to something about who my friends are as people, but I don't describe it that way. I also don't say I'm attracted to sunrises or attracted to the plot of a novel I'm reading or attracted to a television show or attracted to folk music or attracted to coffee, even though those are all examples of things I'm drawn to for some reason. Just as I'm drawn to the people I make friends with. But 'attraction' is just a weird word to use for that. I save it for romance and sex. 

My thoughts exactly, although I would add 'sensual acts' to romance and sex.

That's why the concept of aesthetic attraction makes no sense to me, because technically, it can apply to any inanimate object, animals or places, as someone mentioned above. And it doesn't involve an urge/desire to interact with another human being in any significant way. (Staring at someone doesn't count as interacting imho.)

 

[HonoraryJedi]

When I read a list like this, I just feel like I do not know what the word 'attraction' even means anymore. Ah, who am I kidding, I never did understand the asexual meaning of attraction very well. I can read the definitions, but I am not sure how to apply it to my own feelings. That's why I picked the 'unsure' option. I do not naturally categorize my feelings into attractions.

 

[Kersenne]

I'm attracted to people with who I an have an intellectual converstation, so I guess I experience a form of... intellectual attraction? 

I've also been attracted to people, but that attraction completely dissappeared when the attaction was reciprocated... I guess I've experienced a form of platonic attraction

[Skycaptain]

Aesthetic and platonic, I always thought, although recently I'm thinking there may be more 

[Zhuangzi]

I experience all of these forms of attraction, except for sexual attraction, to varrying degrees. 

[fooledbysecrecy]

aesthetic and platonic mostly i think. not sure about emotional. emotional attachment probably a better term for what i feel??

[Guest]

I read that you can be sapiosexual which means you are attracted by intelligence.

[Perfectionist629]

What if I'm attracted to a person based on how they authentically show their emotions? like I typically am attracted to happiness or contentment (most often people in relationships unfortunately for me). But that doesn't seem to work with emotional attraction though I like to be more emotionally open (something that most often has driven people away from me most of my life) and I tend toward people who seem more compassionate or understanding I just don't seem to mesh with anyone.

[WanderingKate]

On 7/13/2019 at 3:15 PM, Anonymous Axolotl said:

• Aesthetic: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Aesthetic_Attraction
• Alterous: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Alterous_Attraction
• Platonic: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Platonic_Attraction
• Queerplatonic: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Queerplatonic_Attraction
• Sensual: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Sensual_Attraction
• Sexual, romantic, emotional attractions, and additional definitions for aesthetic attraction and sensual attraction: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/terms-of-attraction

Aesthetic- Yes, and I can experience it very strongly, especially for men. That's the only one I'm 100% sure of. 

Alterous- I think so, for one person in particular I've desired a QPR and felt a love stronger than friendship but still not romantic. 

Platonic- Yes- I do desire friends and greatly enjoy the friendships I have. I imagine that's what this means but I'm not entirely clear. 

Queerplatonic- Yes, again for one person in particular I've desire a QPR and felt a strong non-romantic love greater than friendship. For me it basically means respecting and enjoying this persons personality, enjoying being with them more than most friends, and seeing a future with them in it (basically wanting them to be in my life forever) 

Sensual- Yes? Not very strongly though. kissing and cuddling is okay, but I don't desire it really but I don't mind it. I do however love a good massage and having my hair played with. I certainly don't need it to be happy, but it can be nice. 

Romantic- I don't think so- I thought I felt it once, during a really nice moment, but it only lasted about an hour and after that it never happened again I consider myself grayromantic but STRONGLY leaning towards aro. 

Sexual- Nope, absolutely not

 

 

 

 

[DragonSpirit]

I wouls consider all my attraction platonic.

[Ferocious Cub]

I read the definitions, but I still don't understand the difference between romantic, alterous, platonic & queerplatonic.  I'm not sure I believe there IS a difference.  Like, you like someone and you want to spend a ton of time with them.  You maybe want to live with them.  You want to come home to them after a long day and watch movies on the couch.  You want to go on adventures together.  Why do we need four different words to describe nuances between like and like?  Or love and love?

Not to give anyone a hard time.  Use the words that feel right for you!  The difference is just lost on me.

[kenny.]

just platonic maybe, oh and aesthetic