I feel like people are uncomfortable with me being single

[NerdyBirder]

22 hours ago, katinthehat said:

I wish I stayed in my home state of Nebraska after I graduated college. My degree in biology has been pretty much useless in getting me a decent paying wage. I can barely afford rent in Colorado while Nebraska had all that scrumptious affordable housing.

I feel ya. I have a degree in wildlife biology and masters of environmental education and am working for a Parks and Rec department in the town next to where I live. I do get to use my degree though sometimes but not as much as I thought I would be. 

[MissTumnus]

I turned 30 earlier this year. I already was the weird one in my family because I was seen as a 'tomboy' as a kid and then I went to a far off state for my education and job. The distance helped in keeping the pressure off. And also the fact that my older brother hasn't married yet (his issues are different: unrealistic standards but very much wants to get married). 

I broke off an engagement with a guy I was with for 5 years. My parents seemed more heartbroken than me. That's kind of an unfair statement since he was a good guy but we couldn't reconcile him being sexual and me being asexual. But I couldn't tell my parents that since premarital sex is a huge no. Plus my dad is a pastor so you can imagine. 

 

Now I'm back in university. Several of my younger cousins have gotten married already. No one is pressuring me yet and they won't do it very explicitly since I already have the label of being a little weird and quite independent. But next year as I finish my master's I'm dreading they will up the ante. Especially if my brother finds someone and settles down, I'll be in the spotlight. 

 

I'm hoping to make people understand I'm happy as I am and I will not marry just to satisfy their need to conform to societal norms. Fingers crossed.

[Nylocke]

literally I had to deal with this dumb crap ever since I turned 25. If it wasn't people questioning me about relationships from family to strangers, then it was people that would blatantly go out of there way to try to set me up with their family members ...

[Pringles]

'Wont you get lonely?'

 

Yes.

 

'So you should get yourself a special someone!'

 

Pringles is my only special someone, now move aside.

[Lord Jade Cross]

...

[DuskFire]

2 hours ago, Pringles said:

 

 

Pringles is my only special someone, now move aside.

This made me laugh 😂

[katinthehat]

On 8/10/2019 at 9:47 PM, MissTumnus said:

I turned 30 earlier this year. I already was the weird one in my family because I was seen as a 'tomboy' as a kid and then I went to a far off state for my education and job. The distance helped in keeping the pressure off. 

Well, I recently moved out of my parent's house and I'm going back to school in a different state. Maybe some distance will be beneficial for me. 😁 I was always seen as the odd one, but it's hard to not be looked at as the black sheep when your sibling is a doctor and is married with kids (I'm Asian so that's a big deal).

[nerdography]

I turned 35 this year and my mother is starting to get uncomfortable and has been making up stories about why I’m single. According to her I’m single because my father spoiled me and no other man will compare. One, he was abusive, so no he didn’t spoil me.  And two, I would be open to dating a man or woman. And three I’m not interested in being with anyone at the moment.

 

i really think my parents thought I would be married with kids by now. I’m not interested in either of those things. And if I met someone chances are we’d be life partners and would needed to be married.

[Fydron]

In my early 20's my family relatives and friends were almost psychotic on their approach of my relationship and the lack of it but now 17 years later many of them are dead and rest have lost interest or given up so i consider that a win for me.

 

To me it has always been weird how invested some people are on other people and who they are with.

[Catserole]

My family have essentially stopped asking and accepted that I'm just not pursuing relationships at all. It's become normal and isn't commented on. I feel sad that mum isn't going to get grandkids, as I know that's something she'd really like, but she knows that isn't what I want.

 

The thing I find most awkward is meeting people for the first time - I just started a new job recently - and when you're older people just assume you should be married or have children. You can tell sometimes they don't know what to make of it.

[Chamomile_Serenity]

On 7/10/2019 at 4:37 AM, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Tell them to fuck off and mind their own business, then ignore them any time they bring it up. Eventually they'll get bored.

Well, I wouldn't have used the bluntness but same sentiments.

[Guest]

Have you told them you are asexual? If they don't know, that can be where some of the pressure is coming from. Granted, telling people that doesn't mean you just don't get other crap, but you will.

 

As a woman, you can expect people to not accept if you don't want children and to be on your case about that, or talk down to you on that front. I'm almost 40 and people will still say shit like, "You'll change your mind" when I note I don't have or want kids. Like, dude, I am not child, I have NEVER wanted children - why the HELL would I change my mind?

 

I also get the "You just haven't met the right person" when I express I am asexual. Um...I think puberty kicked in some time ago, folks, so if I ain't interested, I ain't interested.

 

As you get older, you can also expect people to just ASSUME you're married with kids by default. Boy does THAT tick me off. I am nearly always "Mrs. Teacher" by default. My name is CLEARLY listed as "MS" - and don't you dare call me "Miss" because we don't live in the bloody dark ages and I am not defined by my martial status, GAWD!

 

Although I think one of the best moments ever was when a fellow teacher asked if I had kids and I just burst out laughing in the staff room and they were all so confused.

 

Oh, and of course, on top of all this, because you don't have a partner/kids, as you get older, you get treated like a child. People talk down to you like you're not an adult. I love putting those people in their place because I have so much more time to educate myself on matters than they do, so I just bury them in information and facts when they try to talk down to me on a topic. Doesn't make anyone like me, but I don't fucking care - they were the ones being assholes.