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Styx34

Person I was dating came out as Asexual

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Styx34

Hi there to start with I would like some advice on somethings.

 

So I recently started to see this girl and everything was going pretty well. We had agreed to take things slow in the relationship, which I was completely fine with. But a day or so ago she messages me and comes out to me and also breaks up with me. She said she thought it would be bad to try and continue a romantic relationship and also wasn't anywhere near a good mental space to have a relationship, which again I totally understand. She did say that she liked hanging out with me and liked me but as I said before she didn't think she was ready mentally for a relationship.

 

What I want to ask/know is

1) How to support her in this?

2) Whether it would be alright to transition to a friendship rather than a romantic relationship, which I am willing to do? 

3) In addition to part 2 how should I go about doing this?

 

Overall I just want her to know that I support her and I want a way to tell her that.

 

Thanks for any advice 

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AceMissBehaving

You can just say something along the lines of, that you understand what she’s saying and support that, but that you enjoy her company and would like to continue seeing her as a friend if that’s something she feels comfortable with.

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LilacJay

Hi there, nice to meet you!

 

Regarding Q1, I think you're already doing great. Coming on here to get some pieces of information and advice shows to me that you're approaching the situation with an open mind and understanding, which I think is the best way to be supportive.

 

2 & 3) It's good to end a romantic relationship on friendly terms. I think the best you can do is to be honest about your feelings. It's important to leave her space and make clear that there's no pressure involved in regards to the friendship, and the rest is on her to decide. I'm also an advocate for speaking to people personally, although that may vary from person to person.

 

Hope I could help!

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Rkod75

I would say the most important thing regarding the first part of your question would be for you to be as understanding and accepting of her feelings as you can, and try not to come off as if you are demanding something from her that she is not interested in giving. In regards to the second part of your question, there is absolutely nothing wrong with remaining friends, provided you are not trying to maneuver the friendship into becoming a romantic relationship.  As for the last part of your question, it's all a matter of how she feels, and what kind of relationship she wishes to have with you. Whatever her answer is, you need to be as accepting as you can, even if that means not maintaining a friendship at all. Ask her if remaining friends is something that she would like, and that you would like to remain friends if that is what she would like to do. 

 

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