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Traveler40

Sexless Vacation

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Traveler40

What is an excellent destination perfectly suited for that sexless couple? 🤔

 

My vote: Disney World

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Kimchi Peanut

What does sex have to do with vacationing?

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Galactic Turtle

Anywhere that's not a sex dungeon I suppose! 

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Anthracite_Impreza

Nürburgring.

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AceMissBehaving

Any vacation is a sexless vacation if you believe in yourself!

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Marcin

If you go as a couple then anywhere works I guess. If you go alone, you might get comments though... Like, I went once to Egypt, and receptionist at the hotel asked me if I found myself a woman to bring to my room... I was like, what the hell, why in the world I would want some creepy random woman in my room? 😸

Only after discovering asexuality I've realized that people go alone on holidays to find themselves random sex partners... 😸

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uhtred

If both of you are happy being sexless, it doesn't matter - anywhere you would otherwise enjoy is fine

 

If one of you wishes you had an active sex life, then avoid "romantic" destinations.   As the sexual person in a mixed relationship I have a memory of a long list of fantastically romantic locations we've traveled, were I spent much of the time feeling frustrated and rejected.

 

If you are in my situation, good places are:  Physically strenuous - hiking, skiing etc.  Difficult,  low-tech:  poor but interesting countries that don't have fancy tourist facilities. 

 

 

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Sally
1 hour ago, Marcin said:

If you go as a couple then anywhere works I guess. If you go alone, you might get comments though... Like, I went once to Egypt, and receptionist at the hotel asked me if I found myself a woman to bring to my room... I was like, what the hell, why in the world I would want some creepy random woman in my room? 😸

Only after discovering asexuality I've realized that people go alone on holidays to find themselves random sex partners... 😸

It's more likely that the receptionist made a little side income by procuring sex partners for the hotel's guests.  

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TimeDelay
5 hours ago, Traveler40 said:

What is an excellent destination perfectly suited for that sexless couple? 🤔

 

My vote: Disney World

Like Uhtred I find it challenging to spend time in 'romantic' places so I can see how Disney World might be manageable, possibly. It'd be easier to focus on our children's enjoyment somewhere like that I think.

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Telecaster68
5 hours ago, Traveler40 said:

What is an excellent destination perfectly suited for that sexless couple? 🤔

 

My vote: Disney World

Weirdly, I thought of you this morning when I heard a track by Jarvis Cocker called Room 29, which includes the line 'is there anything sadder than a hotel room that hasn't been fucked in'. 

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Telecaster68
5 hours ago, disGraceful said:

What does sex have to do with vacationing?

For most people, holidays are an opportunity to have more time to do the things they enjoy. 

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Homer van Simpsegem

I don't see how asexuality would factor in :huh: Go anywhere you want, don't have sex and you got yourself a sexless vacation.

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Traveler40
1 hour ago, Telecaster68 said:

Jarvis Cocker

Yeah, just kinda stopped there....😂

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Telecaster68

Now you're just being smutty...

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Traveler40

Totally. It’s a byproduct of dreams I suppose. God, so funny though! 😬

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Traveler40

Go Jarvis, go?

 

Edit: Scratch that, I forget myself and where I post.  Sexless vacations - sadly, it’s a thing! 🙃

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iff

maybe a very tiring holiday where you are out all day doing stuff so you don't have time to think about the sex

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Telecaster68
3 minutes ago, iff said:

maybe a very tiring holiday where you are out all day doing stuff so you don't have time to think about the sex

That's why you have the sex first.

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CBC

Can I suggest spending a weekend with a bunch of middle aged and elderly British car enthusiasts? My family basically never went on holiday as a child, but twice a year, I was dragged to weekend-long events somewhere in this province, held by the Ontario MG T Register, because of my dad's bloody 1953 MG TF. I'll betcha no one was having sex. Too busy blabbing about their carburettors or whatever, the hell if I know. I just always hoped there was a swimming pool and that the hotel restaurant served good pancakes.

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Telecaster68
20 minutes ago, CBC said:

Can I suggest spending a weekend with a bunch of middle aged and elderly British car enthusiasts? My family basically never went on holiday as a child, but twice a year, I was dragged to weekend-long events somewhere in this province, held by the Ontario MG T Register, because of my dad's bloody 1953 MG TF. I'll betcha no one was having sex. Too busy blabbing about their carburettors or whatever, the hell if I know. I just always hoped there was a swimming pool and that the hotel restaurant served good pancakes.

Paging @Anthracite_Impreza

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TimeDelay
Just now, Traveler40 said:

Go Jarvis, go?

 

Edit: Scratch that, I forget myself and where I post.  Sexless vacations - sadly, it’s a thing! 🙃

After only spending a week perusing this site and ILIASM I'm realising that there definitely is a 'time and place' for my own need for/response to humour. After spending so many years keeping quiet about my sexless marriage the irreverence over on ILIASM is doing very good things for my soul! Of course I want to understand my husband better and respect him, if he decides he is asexual.  However, it has also been helpful to find other's in similar relationships to me who 'get it' and can make me giggle despite the heartache. AVEN is helpful for the factual stuff around asexuality but I have to confess that for me, right now, ILIASM is much better craic and I need that as much as sex 😉

 

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CBC
3 minutes ago, TimeDelay said:

AVEN is helpful for the factual stuff around asexuality

I sincerely hope it stays that way for you. :lol: One definition debate too much and you may find yourself lost in an abyss of confusion...

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R66forM

Make it about time with the kids, so Disney, esp if accommodations sort of prevent opportunity 😕, oops, I mean, give you plenty of time to be close to the kids.  

 

Other ideas, beach house or lake house, maybe invite grandparent(s)/aunts/uncles/ cousins, great time for kids to get to know other family  *

 

Or camping trip on a lake or mountain stream/river.  Invite another family. *

 

*Theme being having other adults to hang with.

 

Or anything like those that can maybe become a family tradition...great way to bond with your kids and make sure they become adult friends...maybe the tradition would be able to continue when they are grown. (We are very fortunate to have that with both our kids).

 

Most of all...its your vacation so find a way to not worry about life's headaches (including the title of this thread)...play hard or relax well, or my preference is some of both!

 

Good luck finding your destination!

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Telecaster68
26 minutes ago, TimeDelay said:

After only spending a week perusing this site and ILIASM I'm realising that there definitely is a 'time and place' for my own need for/response to humour. After spending so many years keeping quiet about my sexless marriage the irreverence over on ILIASM is doing very good things for my soul! Of course I want to understand my husband better and respect him, if he decides he is asexual.  However, it has also been helpful to find other's in similar relationships to me who 'get it' and can make me giggle despite the heartache. AVEN is helpful for the factual stuff around asexuality but I have to confess that for me, right now, ILIASM is much better craic and I need that as much as sex 😉

 

I know what you mean. ILIASM is fun but sparsely populated, last time I popped in. 

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Kimchi Peanut
3 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

For most people, holidays are an opportunity to have more time to do the things they enjoy. 

Yes... I don’t know about any other sexuals but I’ve never factored sex into my vacation planning. I don’t see what the location has to do with what you do or don’t do in the bedroom.

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CBC

Just the nature of the surroundings and the activity plans one has, I would imagine? Obviously for two people who want to be having sex on vacation, it'll pretty much happen regardless. Stick me in a tent in the middle of nowhere, in the pouring rain and surrounded by muck, and I could probably still be in the mood.

 

Of course, sometimes it makes no difference even if conditions are optimal. I spent a night with... well, he was my fiancé at the time... in a posh hotel at a picturesque ski resort about nine summers ago. We watched some fireworks and I smoked a lot of weed and watched TV and was cranky.

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anisotrophic
2 hours ago, iff said:

maybe a very tiring holiday where you are out all day doing stuff so you don't have time to think about the sex

Yeah my initial thought was hiking.

 

Disney world and things that are crowded and loud make it hard to talk to each other. I think about ways to spend time together where I can talk while sharing enjoyment of something.

 

Visiting a museum and talking while going through it is nice. So is visiting/experiencing other cultural & historic things.

 

6 minutes ago, disGraceful said:

Yes... I don’t know about any other sexuals but I’ve never factored sex into my vacation planning.

Me neither but I think I took the question to mean "are there vacation activities that strengthen the relationship, given sexual intimacy is off the table?" (And potentially romantic & physical affection -- I have those in my relationship, thankfully, and I can only imagine how unhappy that absence is.)

 

I think something with shared enjoyment and opportunity for conversation is good for relationship building. Visiting museums is something I have deliberately done with others with this purpose (ie team building activity).

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Telecaster68

Honestly for me holidays were amongst the most painful time because it was then that my stbxw's total lack of interest in sex, and weird 'acting as if romantic but being slightly  off' was starkest, and I was away from the other things I'd put in place to distract me somewhat when we were at home.

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CBC

Holidays mostly don't exist if you're barely making rent. 😎

 

But shared activities still do, and they can feel as empty as holidays if you don't connect with someone, so. Doesn't even have to be actual sex. If there's no energy there it's just... dead. Easier to find joy alone than play at something that makes you want to scream.

 

But I assume my situation was partly my fault as well. I don't think I'll ever really know and it's irrelevant at this point.

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CBC

In retrospect, it's interesting how much I've never spoken about on the forums here. Always way too complicated (but what aspect of my life isn't...) because I didn't come here simply as the partner of an asexual in the first place.

 

Life is a funny thing.

 

ANYWAY. Moving along.

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