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45 Non-Sexual Physically Intimate Actions


argar

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I was never comfortable with public displays of affection. It separates the ones involved from the rest of their surroundings. Hence "get a room". Go somewhere where you can give each other undivided attention if that's what you crave. I don't have to watch it anymore than be involved in it. Sometimes it even seems disrespectful towards the people around.

Fine, a peck or holding hands as an affirmation of "belonging". But if you're in any group setting,  be with the group or go do something else. 

 

Some of these points are old school how to be a gentleman standards, and others are obvious how to butter her up to get in her pants moves.

 

Be yourself is a good approach,  because is she gonna appreciate you without all those cheap tricks? These tips are like make up and push up bras.

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21 minutes ago, CBC said:

The dude kept squeezing the woman's buttcheeks.

I'm embarrassed for her

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Seems like a form of dominant behavior, but I am just making an assumption. 

 

I had a similar incident once.

 

It bugged me to see it.

 

On the other hand, it didn't really bother me too much when it happened to me in high school. 

 

To clarify, it was a random female student, we didn't know each other or anything. 

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anisotrophic

Public displays of non-sexual affection is totally fine with me.

 

Public displays of sexual affection, no.  My  sense is that the people doing it (at least one of them) are aroused by exhibitionism, and they're using me as an unwilling participant in their sex act. hell yeah that is disrespectful.

 

I ain't a prude, I've had a threesome and would do it again. Sex is great with people that want to do it ;)

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greynonomous

The one about pulling hair while making out... Eh? That one is only happening in a sexualized situation.

 

I've had baths and swims with my family where I was naked as a kid growing up, and hit tubs/steam rooms can have that happen and aren't sexual at all. Shared bathing in Japan is common and a family thing...

 

Buuuuut,the connotation in the article is more along the lines of 'here's stuff to try and flirt physically that aren't straight up sex'

 

Interesting that we all agree the tone was deaf, but focused on different ones in the list though

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Well, it is a fine list, and even a bit mechanical touch can be better than none. I think, I do some of these. It is a natural part of being two and being considerate and having/showing empathy. Just have to remember that these are not foreplay in order to come to the love part, these are signs of love in them selves. But in a wellcfunctioning sexual-sexual relationship, these could very well be a natural step towards having sex later on, while they build up a nice vibe between the couple. And often a hug or a soft touch is also where you find/feel that this is actually what you needed from the loving partner. The difference between foreplay and the list is that foreplay is a social construction with a goal, aproduct: sex. In this,  the goal is to be present in the process and the outcome, which is ongoing, is intimate twosomeness.

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 7/6/2019 at 12:10 PM, CBC said:

Oh yeah, no, not a substitute at all. If anyone thinks any of these things would suffice instead, they're nuts.

I'd be so happy to be allowed to do many of these. I ache to hug my partner, but that is too sexual for her to deal with.

I shouldn't be complaining. I had my annual 'summer holiday holding hands while walking for a minute' ration of contact a few weeks ago and am still in the glow from it. 

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It's better than not having any company at all. And I have had more sex with her than in the rest of my life, it just all happened in the first year or so (up to conceiving our first child) and then a couple of times four years later (for our second). Then nothing for the last eight years. She realised she was ace a couple of years ago.

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