IceBox Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 This may be a long one so sorry in advance. So in the past couple days Ive done a lot of research about asexuality and I began to really see myself in it, but Im definitely gonna need a second opinion to make sure Im not just trying to get into a special club, so any thoughts on anything are appreciated. So I never really cared about sex before about my sophomore year of high school, and then I started wanting to do it - well, I thought so at least. My own self-analysis revealed to me that I had only started wanting sex because it started to seem like a big deal for everyone around me, and me being the poor, lacking in good experiences child I was, I started thinking that the triumph of having sex was the biggest deal in the world and Id live a terrible life if I didnt get the experience. The thing is, when I had a crush on someone I actually never really thought about sex. I gave myself a guilty little "you really just wanna have sex with that girl, dont you?" But it never felt true. Sooner or later I realized that it was actually the romance that I craved, and that sex was the last thing I actually cared about. About two years of my life was spent wallowing over love and thinking that sex was a part of it, but once I snapped out of it, I found myself returning to that state in which I had been before; not giving a flying duckleston about having sex in the slightest. Id say Im panromantic, so I decided to try and hook up with any gender and finally find out how i feel about sex. Long story short, I met a guy from grindr and we did it together. It didnt feel good. In fact, I felt disgusting for like a week and a half after doing it. I chalked it up to the fact that I have more attraction to women and figured that the man-attracted side of me was just a fetish that I couldnt actually like irl, but Im actually kind of sure that ill feel the exact same way with a woman. I still get aroused sexually, Id say to the extent of a normal sexual person, but the thought of having sex with people is like the thought of eating cake for me; sometimes neutral if nothing else is around, but sometimes repulsive depending on various factors. I think I might be aegosexual, but it took me one hell of a story to finally realize that. Sorry I made this question so long, I guess I needed to share this with people. Am I asexual or what? And have there been any similar experiences among any of you all? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BumbleBeee Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 I'd personally say you're definitely sometype of asexual. It sounds like you might be sex-repulsed, which is completely ok and something many people on here experience. I'm more neutral on the subject, but if you lack sexual attraction to people, you might be asexual. Glad you decided to share, we're all right here with you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Red99 Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 Welcome! 🍰 To me it sounds like you are right here where you belong! I can't "diagnose" you with your (a)sexuality but I normally encourage people to do more research about all the orientations that fall under the asexual umbrella but it sounds to me that you already have. I do want to add that sexual attraction is completely seperate from sex drive. If you experienced the same sexual desire as those around you that is completely normal! It's the attraction of wanting to fulfill those desires with someone else that makes a person "sexual". I agree with BumbleBeee that you might be leaning towards the sex repulsed side of the spectrum but it could also be because you forced yourself into these sexual scenarios when you weren't exactly ready and didn't know enough about yourself and your sexuality. Long story short, I do think you fall on the ace spec and if you have any questions or want to talk more about any experiences and try to debunk your feelings, feel free to send me a private message! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 Welcome to AVEN! It sounds like you're right, and you could be Asexual. Asexuality is not a lack of libido, but a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone. Meaning an Asexual can experience arousal, because if what you're feeling doesn't lead to the desire to have sex with the person you're feeling it towards, then it's not Sexual Attraction, even if it is an attraction or arousal. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's an Insects Cake, Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IceBox Posted June 27, 2019 Author Share Posted June 27, 2019 14 hours ago, Red99 said: Welcome! 🍰 To me it sounds like you are right here where you belong! I can't "diagnose" you with your (a)sexuality but I normally encourage people to do more research about all the orientations that fall under the asexual umbrella but it sounds to me that you already have. I do want to add that sexual attraction is completely seperate from sex drive. If you experienced the same sexual desire as those around you that is completely normal! It's the attraction of wanting to fulfill those desires with someone else that makes a person "sexual". I agree with BumbleBeee that you might be leaning towards the sex repulsed side of the spectrum but it could also be because you forced yourself into these sexual scenarios when you weren't exactly ready and didn't know enough about yourself and your sexuality. Long story short, I do think you fall on the ace spec and if you have any questions or want to talk more about any experiences and try to debunk your feelings, feel free to send me a private message! Thanks alot. Again, there are some things that I still dont feel quite sur about, so feedback is absolutely appreciated! 1 hour ago, MichaelTannock said: Welcome to AVEN! It sounds like you're right, and you could be Asexual. Asexuality is not a lack of libido, but a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone. Meaning an Asexual can experience arousal, because if what you're feeling doesn't lead to the desire to have sex with the person you're feeling it towards, then it's not Sexual Attraction, even if it is an attraction or arousal. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's an Insects Cake, Thank you so much! I love insects! I wonder what that actually tastes like. Anyway, thanks for the warm welcome! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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