Jump to content

any aros previously thought they were alloromantic?


rainbowocollie

Recommended Posts

rainbowocollie

I'm curious.

I myself ID as greyromantic, because I have most definitely had crushes, but am generally uninterested anymore. I used to think a romantic relationship sounded nice and like something I might enjoy. I never felt like I needed one, but I used to think I'd like one and even used to consider the idea of marriage. I'm questioning if I ever really, truly had a desire for romantic things, but I probably did? I don't anymore.

 

I guess what I'm really asking is, is it possible to be aro and still think a romantic relationship sounds nice and something you might have been open to trying?

Link to post
Share on other sites
idea-solved

Hey! I'm definitely not an expert, but it's possible for aros to have romantic relationships. Even though they may not have the desire, some aros are romance-favorable and are willing to be in a romantic relationship. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat

I did, because I didn't know how romantic attraction worked, so I thought that my way of developing feelings for someone can be called romantic.

I don't get crushes at all, I only develop warm feelings for people that I think I can trust and have a lot of fun times together. This is completely opposite of how romantic attraction seems to work for most, so I guess aro label is usefull here, since it should hopefully repent any hardcore romantics 😺

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes.

I tried a few times, since I did think it sounded nice, but on top of being aro I'm also a loner, I need space. When it was all online it worked fine, when they visited me.... not so much.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lady.Saturnina.94

I'm demiromantic. I thought I was biromantic, but it didn't sound right. I later realized that I was demiromantic after researching the term and thought, "Yup! That is so me!"

Link to post
Share on other sites

I did for a long time. My identity in general has bounced around quite a bit over my lifetime. :P But when I started identifying as ace, I thought I was panromantic. Then I dug deeper and realized there were other identities and also there was a difference between platonic and romantic attraction. I ID'ed as lithromantic for the longest time as I knew I felt uncomfortable with reciprocation of romantic feelings, but I still thought I had crushes. Anyhoo, after fiddling around, I realized none of that was right...I'm aro. :lol: I may have had 1 or 2 actual crushes in my life, I really don't know, but not definitive enough to be sure they were romantic attraction, so aro fits best. Even if they were crushes, I never wanted to do anything about those feelings.

 

4 hours ago, questdrivencollie said:

I guess what I'm really asking is, is it possible to be aro and still think a romantic relationship sounds nice and something you might have been open to trying?

But yeah, that is definitely a thing! Nothing wrong with that, just like being ace and being in a relationship that's sexual. Also, you could be aro and want a relationship called a queerplatonic relationship. It's not romantic, but in some ways, it's a lot like one. But it's based on deep platonic feelings. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
verymelancholic

I used to ID as allo but realised that I wasn't actually feeling romance but more of a platonic attraction. I couldn't ever see myself with them as beyond close friends. So when I knew about aros, that made me know who I was.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep. I initially thought I was heteromantic but soon figured out it was just platonic feelings I was experiencing as there was zero desire for anything more than having fun with like-minded people.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not too sure yet if I'm actually aro, but I'm definitely in the gray area between the two and can tell you that it's definitely possible, simply because your romantic orientation, like your sexual one, can indeed change throughout your lifetime, thus you can also identify as alloromantic but later call yourself aromantic if you think this term fits your current feelings better. I wasn't really sure about the whole "romantic attraction" thing for quite a while, I never knew where the distinctions to sensual attraction and aesthetic attraction is made. However, I think yes, alloromantics can become aromantic later, as much as allosexuals can choose to identify as asexual if they feel like it fits them better now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Twisted Tempest

Not sure if it's worth posting here but for me I was the opposite. I believed I was Aromantic for the big majority of my life, but that changed a few months back. I now feel that Demiromantic fits me better. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy
On 6/26/2019 at 7:35 PM, questdrivencollie said:

I myself ID as greyromantic, because I have most definitely had crushes, but am generally uninterested anymore.

Same, and the two relationships I had felt... odd. Not bad or wrong, I overall enjoyed them, but I could tell I didn't feel about it the same way as the other person.
I've since realized I'm not quite aromantic, but I only have that sort of attraction to very few people and it's (usually) somewhat subtler than the norm.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...