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Anyone else unable to fantasize about anyone or anything?


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Why should one wish to have sexual fantasies? Luckily I have never experienced anything like that. It would have been a nightmare, given my attitude towards sexuality.

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4 hours ago, firebird8 said:

I dream like that, though not about sexual things. 

 

What's the difference between daydreaming and fantasy?

 

5 hours ago, Nima said:

For the longest time, when someone mentioned the word fantasy, I would literally think they meant dragons and fairies, werewolves and other fantastic creatures. Obviously I know now what is meant by that, but I still enjoy visualizing scenes of grand waterfalls, caves with dragons in a volcano and such as a way to disconnect from reality and calm my mind as not to think about chores or work or whatever else is haunting me. Which happens enough.

Maybe that classifies as a form of meditation though.

When I do decide to try to imagine something sexual, it's third person (like watching a movie). Like reading above, the characters would not be recognizable as anybody I know either, not even fictional charcters, I used to call them faceless people, which sounds eerie, but meaning they're just bodies, I couldn't even pinpoint things like hair color or anything identifiable. in the few occasions I saw a scene from a first person pov, I wasn't myself, I was in a man's body. Which kind of weirded me out, but it was like daydreaming or something. Come to think about it, maybe I just identified this with my husband being the way he is, and sort of putting myself in his shoes and thinking about the things he enjoys from his pov? Either way, still strange.

So yeah.

You mentioned seeing faceless people when you dream. Some people do that in their everyday lives, and others just in dreams

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia

 

I hope this is helpful

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3 minutes ago, Marlow1 said:

 

You mentioned seeing faceless people when you dream. Some people do that in their everyday lives, and others just in dreams

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia

 

I hope this is helpful

I'm glad this doesn't apply to my awake state, seeing that I'm in HR, I need to know my employees! 

I do have difficulty recognizing people after not seeing them for years. One of my former classmates and friends (we went to school and swimming for 6 years growing up) saw me like 10 years later at a street fest and called my name. I couldn't place her. No clue who that woman was. Totally embarrassing!

People I see often, no problem. Couldn't do the detailed description for a police phantom image though.

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40 minutes ago, Nima said:

 

I'm glad this doesn't apply to my awake state, seeing that I'm in HR, I need to know my employees! 

I do have difficulty recognizing people after not seeing them for years. One of my former classmates and friends (we went to school and swimming for 6 years growing up) saw me like 10 years later at a street fest and called my name. I couldn't place her. No clue who that woman was. Totally embarrassing!

People I see often, no problem. Couldn't do the detailed description for a police phantom image though.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.reddit.com/r/Prosopagnosia/comments/8cr34u/can_you_recognise_faces_in_your_dreams/&ved=2ahUKEwjyiJ7muo_jAhUMTcAKHTOJDdQQjjgwCnoECAUQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2eKpAbn_s7OCDGD0vorDp0

 

Sorry, I was struggling to get this link shorter, but these folk at Reddit are talking about face blindness only in dreams

 

I too would be hopeless with the police phantom images

 

I don't have face blindness but I am terrible at recognising folk that I have not seen for some time. 

 

I have mentioned here at AVEN in the past that I seem to have a form of body blindness. I cannot remember a person's shape, size and so on. I might recall one thing like the gait, or the way they walk, something that stands out, but very little else

 

I noticed that when I recall people I sometimes remember them in pieces. For instance I can remember Elvis combing his hair, and I can remember that he sometimes wears a white suit, but I struggle to think of the two things together

 

I can describe my partner fairly well but even with her I often only remember specific parts of her appearance. She tells me she has all these flaws, but I often do not know what she is talking about. And this is not me being just nice, it really is true

 

Body blindness has not been studied well

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I've considered face blindness, because I often tell people that I can't recognize faces. But the description doesn't really fit. It's more that I can't see their face or something in my brain doesn't care until I have some feeling about them as a person. According to what I've read, the face blindness problem tends to make it difficult to get to know people because you can't remember them. Instead, what really rings true for me is visual and auditory processing disorders (visual processing disorder sounds like my issue with recognizing people, while auditory processing disorder sounds like what I used to describe as auditory dyslexia). Doesn't matter, I suppose, none of these things can be cured and the treatments are about finding coping mechanisms which I have done.

 

I have never run across anyone who also had trouble with faces in my life, though, so it is interesting to find several here.

 

On the other hand, if you find watching TV difficult because you can't keep track of characters, and/or you regularly hear a mash of sounds when people talk and it doesn't always resolve into the right words, you might look up auditory and visual processing disorders. Made me feel less like a weird alien who doesn't belong.

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21 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

Some folk have mild Aphantasia meaning they sometimes have images, or rarely have images, these can be vague too. A lot of people that have Aphantasia, lack visuals, or struggle to visualise, but they do have a voice narrating in their head, I do not have either

 

http://aphant.asia/have-i-got-aphantasia

I have the voice narrating. In fact, when I'm trying to meditate or fall asleep, I sometimes work very hard to visualize only and turn the voice off, and it is very difficult.

 

When you read do you have a reading voice in your head? For many years I said I didn't, but then I got a used book for college and it was highlighted very strangely, halfway through sentences that weren't important, that kind of thing. Every time I got to a highlighted section my internal reading voice would raise its volume, and since the highlighting wasn't intelligible, I would get so confused I would have to go back and read it again because I couldn't concentrate with the "volume" changes. It was highly disconcerting.

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On 6/30/2019 at 6:19 PM, firebird8 said:

I have the voice narrating. In fact, when I'm trying to meditate or fall asleep, I sometimes work very hard to visualize only and turn the voice off, and it is very difficult.

 

When you read do you have a reading voice in your head? For many years I said I didn't, but then I got a used book for college and it was highlighted very strangely, halfway through sentences that weren't important, that kind of thing. Every time I got to a highlighted section my internal reading voice would raise its volume, and since the highlighting wasn't intelligible, I would get so confused I would have to go back and read it again because I couldn't concentrate with the "volume" changes. It was highly disconcerting.

Sorry for the delay, I have not been able to get online

 

No, I have no inner voice, or sound, whatsoever. My brother has Aphantasia. He has managed to get some still pictures in his mind, the odd sound and inner voice, but extremely rarely. He did this by using ketosis. I too have tried ketosis but I have many problems sustaining it. I am very thin and always loose weight when I try to do it

 

 

My brain definitely works better when I use ketosis, and a handful of times when doing so I have had dreams with pictures

 

In my case it is hard to say if I will ever be able to improve things beyond this level. I had a brain hemorrhage a few years ago and so my brain does not work as effectively as my brothers generally

 

We were both born with Aphantasia and we are both Demisexual. Our other brothers all have a mindseye none of them are Demisexual, they are not on the Asexual Spectrum

 

Can you explain in more detail how you managed to develop an inner voice, I am struggling to understand exactly what you are meaning regarding the highlighted text

 

Disclaimer: Anybody considering using ketosis should consult a doctor or qualified dietitian

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On 6/30/2019 at 6:14 PM, firebird8 said:

 

 

 

We always use subtitles and this helps

 

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7 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

Sorry for the delay, I have not been able to get online

 

No, I have no inner voice, or sound, whatsoever. My brother has Aphantasia. He has managed to get some still pictures in his mind, the odd sound and inner voice, but extremely rarely. He did this by using ketosis. I too have tried ketosis but I have many problems sustaining it. I am very thin and always loose weight when I try to do it

 

 

My brain definitely works better when I use ketosis, and a handful of times when doing so I have had dreams with pictures

 

In my case it is hard to say if I will ever be able to improve things beyond this level. I had a brain hemorrhage a few years ago and so my brain does not work as effectively as my brothers generally

 

We were both born with Aphantasia and we are both Demisexual. Our other brothers all have a mindseye none of them are Demisexual, they are not on the Asexual Spectrum

 

Can you explain in more detail how you managed to develop an inner voice, I am struggling to understand exactly what you are meaning regarding the highlighted text

 

Disclaimer: Anybody considering using ketosis should consult a doctor or qualified dietitian

I'm very surprised to hear ketosis has any impact on this for you. I never tried to develop an inner voice. To be honest, I only become aware of it when I'm annoyed by it. The best way I know how to explain it is by comparing it to audio narration of written material. Have you ever read aloud to yourself or memorized something and recited it aloud when you are alone? I have done both, the reading aloud when I am struggling to get through something boring or technical that I have to read for school or work, and the memorization/recitation was originally something religious in my childhood which I have now transferred to poetry as an adult. So if you can imagine or just try it now, reading out loud in your own voice, maybe even this post. But every once in a while I become aware that I'm "hearing" what sounds like my idea of my own voice inside my head when I'm reading or when I'm writing. 

 

As far the highlighting, it's kind of just a funny story. If you know the idea that TYPING IN ALL CAPS is yelling, just imagine that random words like THE were capitalized for no reason in a post and you will get the idea, I think. 

 

Why would you like to change the way you think? Do you think it would be a richer experience, or do you have trouble remembering things, or is there some other difficulty? Although I don't have any real detailed images in my mental space, I have concepts and emotions and thoughts and words and memories and smells and sometimes sounds attached so I don't usually feel like it's lacking. I have a really hard time recognizing faces but I'm used to that by now. I'm also synesthetic where I confuse smells and the sense of touch with seeing so I don't know how much that has to do with the whole thing. In any case, I'm not currently trying to change anything about how my brain works. 

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i dont fantasize much either, so youre not alone there! if i do its never a sexual situation, just like a possible interaction with a friend/family member. honestly i dont think i could imagine myself in a sexual setting if i tried. 😂

 

although now that i think about it, when i say i fantasize about situations with my family and friends, those might just be daydreams. im not really too sure on the difference 🤷‍♀️

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On 7/3/2019 at 2:52 AM, firebird8 said:

 

 

 

I am going to give the reading aloud a go

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3 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

It is mainly because of the brain hemorrhage that I eat a high fat diet. I cannot always sustain ketosis but even high fat/low carb diets can improve brain function for some people

 

It is my brother that has had the most success with this. He can sustain ketosis because he does not loose weight like I do. He now sees some stills which he is working on to try to get them to move. He can change their size, making them bigger and smaller etc but can't really get the pictures to do anything

 

He hears things in his mind but only very occasionally. But he is happy with  the progress he is making

 

With me it is hard to say what is the brain hemhorrage and what is the Aphantasia. My memory is terrible and like I have mentioned I struggle following things, not just films, but conversations generally. I particularly have trouble when there are a lot of people all speaking at once and other stuff. 

 

I am not too bothered about these things, kind of used to them, like you are saying, but my wife wants me to be better, and so do other members of my family. It was devastating for everybody when I had the brain hemhorrage, no speech, no walking, the lot

 

Anyway, although we did not start out with the intention to cure the Aphantasia the ketosis has made a difference with that as well as other things. When low caring but not in ketosis I get by. But when in ketosis I sometimes dream with pictures. And like I have mentioned with ketosis my brother also experiences some Phantasia stuff but it is limited. Some folk on the Aphantasia site have also mentioned high fat diets being of benefit, but definitely nobody thinks this is a cure

 

My wife was devastated when she realised that I cannot see her in my mind. She can get a bit down about it and says that she wants me to be able to see her if she dies before me. I would like to be able to tell her this could be so, but right now I don't think this will happen

 

I am going to give the reading aloud a go, who knows, it could work

 

In the meantime my wife and I have developed other ways of keeping our shared memories alive but because this post is getting to be too long I think I should save all this for another time

I see, that must have been very frightening, and it sounds like you have made a lot of progress coming back from it. 

 

Do you ever remember smells or touch or anything like that? I ask because sometimes I associate a fragrance with people that I care about, and if you do also perhaps that would help your wife feel more assured. And there are always pictures!

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Chris Zulas

ill fantasize about other people having sex or doing sex stuff. very rarely i fantasize about like romantic stuff, i might wanna do that more but worried that could make me sad.

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No pressure to respond. I resold when I see the notification otherwise I will loose the thread and never see it again! I think this conversation is fascinating.

 

I realized that I did do something that was basically like training an inner voice. I've mentioned that I have memorized and recited very long pages of literature throughout my life. When I was in my early 20s, I was on a several days' long road trip with others around my age and a few older adults. I don't remember exactly what was going on to make me withdraw in this way, but I remember deciding as a challenge of memory that I wanted to be able to "recite" silently, to myself, the words of anything I could recite aloud. That is, think through the words, word perfect, and do this without mumbling or moving my lips or reading or pacing or tapping my hands - in other words, to appear blank like I was doing nothing at all, while internally reciting. I also wanted to be able to do this despite distractions (I know I was in a van with others who were talking; I don't know if I was trying to ignore them or distract myself from conversations they were having that I found unpleasant or if I was just bored or what might have been the cause.

 

In any case, I have practiced this ever since, so about 15 years. It was at some point after that that I was surprised to find an internal voice reading in my head when I was reading the book with the highlighting. So it is possible I didn't have that "voice" before and developed it by this intentional practice. I have worked very hard at the internal recitation thing, usually when I'm bored and trying not to fidget or when I'm trying to sleep, and I already had a lifetime of memorization and recitation under my belt, so I don't know if this can help other than as an example of what might be possible?

 

I am glad to hear you are able to find solutions with technology with your wife. I am not surprised that it is possible to see to an extent how our brains are different! It is all so fascinating, what the mind and memory can do and what science can and cannot tell us about it. 

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I have never fantasised about anyone even when in girls school as a teenager and the other girls were interested in boys

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17 hours ago, Lizdrizz said:

I have never fantasised about anyone even when in girls school as a teenager and the other girls were interested in boys

@Lizdrizz When you say that you do not fantasise about anybody do you mean that you can get visuals in your mind but just very little about people, sex, romance etc or do you mean that you get no pictures at all, not ever, or exceedingly rarely. If it is the later then you might have Aphantasia

 

Aphantasia is not an illness, there is no treatment and most folk believe that we do not need to be treated for this, it is just one way of thinking, and most of us feel normal. I know I do lol

 

But, anyway, if you think that you may have Aphantasia, either strongly or mildly, this thread might be of interest to you

 

 

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23 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

My wife is so pleased with you for explaining all this to me, I have had books out today that I have not had out in a very long time, and seeing me try something like this has been a real joy for her. Sometimes she feels nobody understands any of this stuff, and it can be hard for her to know what is the brain hemorrhage and what's the Aphantasia. Just seeing me motivated to try to read, it has cheered her up no end

 

Many folk here at AVEN have auditory or visual processing difficulties. Some lack both the sound and visuals but like you are saying usually folk get at least one or two sensations in the mind from the senses, but definitely not so for me

 

In the past here, folk have been amazed that I can even think at all with no experiences of the senses in my mind at all. They usually say, how do you think then lol. I have no idea, because I can't really understand how others think

 

Here at this thread we discuss these points in detail, I do hope this link is of use to you, and perhaps others. And like you are saying these post being shared now on this subject are thought provoking and interesting. I can't wait to see research done in this area and especially to see if these lack of experiences in the mind, if in some cases, are they related to being on the Asexual Spectrum

 

 

Aww well I am very glad to hear your wife is happy. :)

 

I can't remember now if I've said here that I'm pretty sure I have both auditory and visual processing issues. I have a very difficult time recognizing people's faces, as in, I have trouble knowing people when I see them. I have trouble watching television and movies because so many times I can't keep the actors straight. It is easier with television shows sometimes because the characters change clothes and hair less often, honestly. I also have a lot of trouble understanding people when they speak. I do a lot of lip reading and picking things up by context. It often seems like my hearing is lacking, but it tests normal. It seems more like auditory dyslexia, because I hear a jumble of sounds, and usually they form up into the right words after a beat, but sometimes I get the completely wrong words instead. For example today a coworker said, in the context of being frustrated that someone else was parked blocking him in, "I'm going to have a scrap with Baker" (Baker being the person who was blocking him in), and I heard "I'm going to use a piece of paper". Not really the same at all. Both problems are typical of the respective processing disorders. I haven't bothered to ask for a formal diagnosis because from what I read treatment is about finding workarounds and at this point in my life I am used to finding workarounds, everyone who knows me knows about my wacky hearing and I read lips and watch TV with subtitles and don't sweat remembering faces. But it's interesting to me to think it might be more common in the ace community. I've never met anyone who hears like I do, and I've had to tell pretty much anyone I interact with regularly because I'm forever hearing stupid shit that makes no sense and having to ask people to repeat themselves.

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1 hour ago, Marlow1 said:

Yes, Yes, yes indeed, the hearing something very different than what is being said is very common for me!!! 

 

I also cannot cope when groups of people around me are all talking at the same time, I need folk to speak clearly, to face me, added facial expressions and body language help, but I can even miss this, or interpret them wrongly

 

I am terrible with lyrics in music, I can barely pick up any words

 

I struggle with movies, but adding subtitles helps. If there is a narrator, this makes a difference

 

I honestly had no idea about any of all this until recently, only the lack of hearing the lyrics was obvious to me. It was only when my wife and I landed in therapy did we actually realise how much visual and auditory stuff I don't notice. It's amazing really how folk with these conditions adapt, even without knowing they are doing so

 

Before my brain hemorrhage I was a member of Mensa Lol. We joke now, so much for Mensa lol. But my point is that academically all this stuff missing but it did not stop me doing well in English, Maths, Science, History, Geography etc. But I was dreadful at English Literature and any tasks that required imaginative thinking. 

 

I have met others here at AVEN that have said similar things. Usually these folk have been diagnoses with Aphantasia, Face Blindness, Aspergers etc. Folk with these conditions sometimes say they are on the Asexual Spectrum but from what I can gather not all do, and the vast majority of folk here that are on the Asexual Spectrum do not have these conditions. Really some proper research needs to be done

 

Myself, I have only ever been sexually attracted to my wife. I was never sexually attracted to anybody before I met her, and I have never been attracted to anybody else whilst we have been together. I was incredibly shocked when she told me that she gets attracted. But as much as this really did shock me, I have never been majorly jealous about it. Since I can't visualise it I kind of just shrug. 

 

I know it sounds mean my wife telling me this, it was not deliberate. It's a long story but she automatically assumed I was attracted to other people and so when I lost my attraction to her she thought I was attracted to others, bla bla bla. I think you probably get the gist. It all came out in therapy, and so on

 

Anyway, we are fine now!!! But to get my head around all this it helped me to learn a bit about how folk can become immediately attracted. And yes, it does seem that the minds eye is playing a role. My wife says she thinks she has templates of ideal guys in her unconscious mind and with these ideal looking guys she has personality traits she associates with the folk in her mind. If she sees a man that looks like one of her ideals she immediately associates the ideal characteristics to that person and becomes attracted. She says she has to fight this. She calls it base one, and says at base one I am out of there. Me, I have never had this experience, I find it perplexing. How can a person that is in love become attracted to another person? That does not make sense to me. But apparently this is very common. This article below explains all this very well, and points towards the minds eye being involved in such attraction, at least for some people

 

https://veilofreality.com/is-it-love-or-is-it-projection/

Oh my goodness, yes, song lyrics. People act like I'm so strange but it may sounds like a muffled roar or a bunch of mumbling to me! I also find it almost impossible to "hear" the rhythm in music unless there is very pronounced and audible percussion (like a loud bass drum or snare that is audible over the rest of the music). People always find this incomprehensible.

 

I was also once a member of Mensa. I lapsed because he local group in my city didn't seem very interesting or welcoming after I moved. I'm still involved online with a triple 9 society (not the actual Triple Nine society that is named something like that, but one of the others in that vein). I like it because the members post really intriguing articles about science and math and the brain and are interested in in depth discussion. The moderators work hard to keep a civil group (which is a problem in some triple 9s, as I understand it). 

 

I don't think it sounds mean, I assume your wife probably mentioned it thinking you experienced the same things. Most sexual people feel sexual attraction from time to time and don't think it's a big deal. I think some sexual people probably think if you are never attracted to anyone else that not cheating doesn't mean as much because you are never tempted. Silly, right? But I can almost hear some people I've known saying that. They expect to have other attractions and that resisting them is a moral obligation that shows their faithfulness (of course, the sexual world is rife with people who don't resist...)

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@firebird8

 

In addition to all that I have mentioned above I also don't recognise when folk are flirting, and I don't flirt well myself. I have zero interest in pornography and have just remembered this link. The young woman in the link explains that she does not get images in her head and almost all she describes applies to me, except of course I can get attracted to just one person whereas, the person here is Asexual

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t8FX6vZz-MM

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  • 2 weeks later...
coelacanthiformes

I've tried to have fantasies with my crush but it always made me feel really uncomfortable. Fantasies that I have are of cake. 😛 However, when I have a crush on someone, my "fantasies" consist of them asking me out or something. OP, based on what you're saying, you may be asexual since you don't feel the urge to have sex. Try checking out some of these pages below and/or some of the other forums on this site. I've found them really helpful. Hope this helps!

 

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coelacanthiformes
On 6/29/2019 at 12:25 PM, gymgirl said:

Why should one wish to have sexual fantasies? Luckily I have never experienced anything like that. It would have been a nightmare, given my attitude towards sexuality.

I think for some people it just happens idk

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1 hour ago, anxiousdolphin134 said:

I think for some people it just happens idk

That is certainly what I have been told. "Dancing in my head" was the exact turn off phrase, IIRC.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I can't have sexual fantasies in the normal way, since I also have aphantasia, but I CAN fantasize in an auditory way, describing sexual activity in my head as if I was reading from an erotic story. Why do I do it? For the same reason anyone else does the things that they enjoy, whether other people enjoy them or not. Part of having a meaningful and useful dialogue with the rest of the world is that we need to understand that sex is not a horrible thing that's a horrible experience for everyone, it's something that is objectively considered terrific that is terrific for most people, it's just that most of us lack the ability to enjoy any part of it, even fantasies. I wouldn't touch sex with a 10-foot pole, but if I went around announcing that no one should enjoy it, that would alienate rather than educate people. Sorry to lecture, but some of the people coming here for help do enjoy sex, so let's not drive them away unnecessarily.

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@Dawning

 

Not sure if you have seen this but it is a fairly new article explaining how Aphantasia can limit our ability to fantasize in the usual way. Interestingly the author speaks about eye contact and how keeping her eyes open help her to connect intimately

 

https://theestablishment.co/i-have-no-sexual-fantasies-due-to-aphantasia/index.html

 

Also, this article is looking at the imagination and how folk project idealistic characteristics towards folk that they find physically attractive, hense immediate attraction. It appears that the minds eye, at least in part, can be important in enabling attraction. Of course I cannot do this but I find it fascinating that other people can experience such intense feelings just by looking at a person. There is no way I can do any of all this explained here

 

https://veilofreality.com/is-it-love-or-is-it-projection/

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4 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

@Dawning

 

Not sure if you have seen this but it is a fairly new article explaining how Aphantasia can limit our ability to fantasize in the usual way. Interestingly the author speaks about eye contact and how keeping her eyes open help her to connect intimately

 

https://theestablishment.co/i-have-no-sexual-fantasies-due-to-aphantasia/index.html

 

Also, this article is looking at the imagination and how folk project idealistic characteristics towards folk that they find physically attractive, hense immediate attraction. It appears that the minds eye, at least in part, can be important in enabling attraction. Of course I cannot do this but I find it fascinating that other people can experience such intense feelings just by looking at a person. There is no way I can do any of all this explained here

 

https://veilofreality.com/is-it-love-or-is-it-projection/

Very interesting articles, thank you! Probably because of my autism, eye contact for me feels threatening and creepy, but it's great if it works for other people! I think that Jungian stuff is unsubstantiated fantasy, but people should use whatever floats their boats. I'd be willing to bet that lacking a mind's eye affects the ability to feel attraction; hopefully, someone will do some research about that soon!

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On 8/3/2019 at 1:32 AM, Dawning said:

Very interesting articles, thank you! Probably because of my autism, eye contact for me feels threatening and creepy, but it's great if it works for other people! I think that Jungian stuff is unsubstantiated fantasy, but people should use whatever floats their boats. I'd be willing to bet that lacking a mind's eye affects the ability to feel attraction; hopefully, someone will do some research about that soon!

Yes, me too, not crazy about Jung, wife is LOL. She admits herself that she lives in La La Land. She is a born romantic, me, I am clearly the Mr Spock in this relationship, logic and facts please 😁

 

I gave that particular example because there is so little research in regards to how the mind plays a role in attraction, yet, if we ask a person that can visualise how they think they are doing it many do say thry have types and that when they see their type they attribute characteristics onto that person that they already hold in their mind about that type etc

 

They swoon around all lovey dovey, even lustily, in a cute kind of way, about a person they know nothing about, as if they have known them all their lives, only to split with bitter resentment soon after. I am not having a dig here, I am always chuft to bits when my friends or my family find a new love, but apart from me and my brother (the one with Aphantasia), all of them do tend to jump right in at the start, with oodles of excitement, only to find a short time later the person they thought they were with is actually nothing like the person they are actually with

 

I have been thinking a bit more today about how I became attracted to my wife. I think I became attracted to her in a similar way that a blind person becomes attracted

 

https://www.upworthy.com/10-things-to-learn-about-dating-a-blind-person

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