when being a woman or feminine is miserable (the fears of transitioning and not transitioning)

[Just Somebody]

After a few years among Trans groups, feminist groups and transfeminist groups, I started noticing something regarding masculine privilege that I feel like it's not properly addressed and actually makes a lot of people miserable with gender discomforts.

 

We all may know that in the majority of patriarchal groups or societies, women , cis or Trans, gender conforming or gender non-conforming, have lives harder than men, as history tells, have been seen as objects, property,  shamed, used and abused, excluded, disrespected,  there is in fact an gender imbalance or inequality  when it comes to life quality and I'm sure nothing of this is new to anyone reading this.

 

 

Taking that in consideration, here comes my point about how the discomfort of existing and living as a women or being/expressing feminine in a patriarchal society built by the manly perspective, actually this discomfort affects Trans and I'll explain based on what I've seen researching about it.

 

 

 

I know the Transgender spectrum is diverse and everybody is different but some people have stories in common, so I'm not talking about ALL Trans women nor ALL Trans men, just specific groups that I address that exist within these bigger groups of people.

 

-Masculine privileges and The fear of transitioning:

 

When it comes to the experience of being in identity a Transgender woman, many of them kept out from actually coming out and transitioning because these feelings of feminine discomfort that is so common among women, whether cis or not, because the social gender inequality I already mentioned above, and many of  these Trans women end up MAY having very harsh lives regretting being repressed In the closet , obligated to live pretending to be cis men in order to survive in many cases and not lose the social masculine privileges man usually have . Being a woman is already hard, not even being considered a woman at all or humans in the first place, like in their case is EVEN HARDER.

 

 

-Masculine privileges and the fear of NOT transitioning:

 

And when it comes to the experience of being in identity a Transgender man, the same feminine discomfort many cis women feel as they are raised in a sexist society, can be seen as one of the personal reasons for someone ended up discovering they are a Transgender man and transitioning made them more comfortable with having masculine privileges man usually have because living life growing as a woman or feminine may have been too hard to handle and left impacts.

Just like many Trans women regret not having transitioned for the same reasons of feminine discomfort, many people who identified as Trans man MAY regret having transitioned based mostly on these same reasons

(I believe there are lots of stories about afab people in the Internet who identified as Trans in a period of their life for similar feelings and reasons and ended up detransitioning after a deep critical look into their personal story.... well if they can detransition in the first place, which is also a VERY hard process and they may find themselves,  like the closeted Trans women above, stuck regretting living live  being readen and treated as men ) . 

 

 

And to finish we come up to this:

 

What's I've been trying to point out is that, just because you dislike, hate or feel discomfort experiencing life with the identity of a woman or with femininity in general, this doesn't SPECIFICALLY make you a man or non-binary. Whether you were afab or amab. 

 

 

I believe and i wanted to just warn that it's really very import for people who are struggling with their gender identity or gender expression to question and take a look deeply into their society and culture or the ones they were raised in and try to find how it actually impacts your existence , feelings, views and beliefs about gender before deciding to do any major steps in your life about it. Off course we can be really "gender criticals " without being sexists or transphobes. 

[ReyGraves]

On 6/25/2019 at 12:06 PM, Just Somebody said:

Taking that in consideration, here comes my point about how the discomfort of existing and living as a women or being/expressing feminine in a patriarchal society built by the manly perspective, actually this discomfort affects Trans and I'll explain based on what I've seen researching about it.

Jackson Bird talks about the trans man side of this in his video "Trans or Just Upset By Your Place In Society?" (https://youtu.be/eLrMCpSw9Ag). 

[Guest Disa]

Well, being a transwoman myself, and according to my gid team the second person survive to reaching treatment from my area, statistical we should been like around 200 at least. The death toll in us is just catastrophic. Well u do assuming staying in closet a survaible option, for many there is not the case, including myself.

U also assume u can hide it completely, I think often u can't, that makes u a shiny target.

I  do not know what made me survive,  if I  look back on what I been through,  I shouldn't have. I  do not know what to do to actually make things better, the whole society need to change, where I live nowadays to things change slowly for the better.

[Just Somebody]

20 hours ago, Disa said:

Well, being a transwoman myself, and according to my gid team the second person survive to reaching treatment from my area, statistical we should been like around 200 at least. The death toll in us is just catastrophic. Well u do assuming staying in closet a survaible option, for many there is not the case, including myself.

U also assume u can hide it completely, I think often u can't, that makes u a shiny target.

I  do not know what made me survive,  if I  look back on what I been through,  I shouldn't have. I  do not know what to do to actually make things better, the whole society need to change, where I live nowadays to things change slowly for the better.

Well that's terrible and i feel very sorry that you fit in these scenarios I talked about, however unfortunately  I can't do much to change anything tho, I hope you stay safe somehow as much as possible.

[Fluffy Femme Guy]

I'm a white AMAB and my existence has never been privileged.

[Karst]

I don't think all AMABs get the full "benefits" of male privilege.  I'm not saying it isn't a real power imbalance, just that some people are "disqualified" from it for reasons like disability, race, and gender expression.