Removed.

[Guest]

Removed.

[Philip027]

That's fair, but what I posted wasn't really a "condemnation" nor intended to come off as one

[Iam9man]

33 minutes ago, questioning_trans_man said:

They're also still questioning their identity, so decreeing that they're not asexual may not be correct, or helpful

 

34 minutes ago, questioning_trans_man said:

While I can't understand this, as a sex-repulsed asexual, I think it's unfair to disqualify a person from identifying as asexual because they are apathetic about having sex, and consequentially could have it if someone else wanted them to.

 

34 minutes ago, questioning_trans_man said:

So... I don't know, I'm a bit uncomfortable with the condemnation of this person, when they've had the courage to speak up in this forum. Figuring out whether a label fits you is bloody difficult, and I'd know this more than anyone, as a trans male currently questioning his sexual identity.

Very well said 😊

 

We’re all here to learn and it’s great to appreciate each other’s differences without condemnation.

 

39 minutes ago, questioning_trans_man said:

Ultimately, I would rather that this thread just be about my question, and not discourse (like I said, I'm still new to this community).

I’ll stick to answering your question from here onwards 😊

[Iam9man]

59 minutes ago, questioning_trans_man said:

I find this really interesting, because (for me) I can't separate the visceral sexuality of the act from physical pleasure. Perhaps it's my dysphoria that causes this, but I could never imagine having sex with anybody and receiving physical pleasure from it, because my repulsion towards the act (and lack of interest in ever engaging in sex) would prevent me from experiencing pleasure. If I went the rest of my life without ever having sex, I would likely be fine. This may change when I have gender reassignment surgery, but I don't think that it will.

Interesting. I’ve seen posts where people explained their repulsion diminished once they’d transitioned and they could engage in sexual acts with the right body for the first time.

 

Despite being relatively favourable/indifferent to sex I would also be happy not having sex again.

 

1 hour ago, questioning_trans_man said:

For me, the only way I can experience physical pleasure is masturbation. I am only able to do this because nobody else is involved, and so my repulsion does not manifest

That makes sense.

 

1 hour ago, questioning_trans_man said:

and I focus exclusively on fantasies that are not based on real people or sexual attraction to anybody I know. Voyeuristic fantasies, essentially.

Some indifferent asexuals I’ve chatted to do this during sex with a partner, to stay “in the zone”.

 

1 hour ago, questioning_trans_man said:

My ideal life partner would be an asexual person, because that way I'd never have to have sex, but we could be close romantically.

😊

 

1 hour ago, questioning_trans_man said:

I'm beginning to see that this is a difference between myself (and other sex-repulsed folks) and other asexuals, who are indifferent about sex, and are willing to have it if another person initiates it, but don't care either way. It's quite interesting to hear everybody else's experiences!

There’s a huge variance between people in the asexual community, and definitely agree, it’s interesting to learn about!

 

Happy to chat further (on topic) if you have any more questions 😊

[maybeimamazed]

I only get sexually aroused when I watch porn (of all kinds... male/male, male/female or female/female). And it's very mild. I've never had the urge to masturbate. So I guess... I have low libido? I don't know... Do people with high libido just randomly get aroused with no motivating factor (like porn, in my case)? I have certainly never experienced that.

[Iam9man]

43 minutes ago, brehasolo said:

Do people with high libido just randomly get aroused with no motivating factor (like porn, in my case

Personal experience: Randomly yes, but with a motivating factor; e.g. a fleeting thought which sort of rapidly escalates.

[ClearWater]

On 7/17/2019 at 10:22 PM, questioning_trans_man said:

As a sex-repulsed asexual, our experiences are definitely different, but I have heard quite a few asexuals describe experiences like yours. This video features a man named Alex, describing his apathy towards sex, his inability to experience sexual attraction, and how boring he generally finds sex. He says that he can have sex, if someone else initiates it, but has no drive for it.

https://vimeo.com/85210981

There are a diverse range of asexual experiences mentioned here, and each individual has an accompanying interview you can watch:
http://asexualsproject.com/

 

I find this really interesting, because (for me) I can't separate the visceral sexuality of the act from physical pleasure. Perhaps it's my dysphoria that causes this, but I could never imagine having sex with anybody and receiving physical pleasure from it, because my repulsion towards the act (and lack of interest in ever engaging in sex) would prevent me from experiencing pleasure. If I went the rest of my life without ever having sex, I would likely be fine. This may change when I have gender reassignment surgery, but I don't think that it will.

For me, the only way I can experience physical pleasure is masturbation. I am only able to do this because nobody else is involved, and so my repulsion does not manifest, and I focus exclusively on fantasies that are not based on real people or sexual attraction to anybody I know. Voyeuristic fantasies, essentially. (If my sex drive is driving me anywhere, it's towards myself, lol.) My ideal life partner would be an asexual person, because that way I'd never have to have sex, but we could be close romantically.

I'm beginning to see that this is a difference between myself (and other sex-repulsed folks) and other asexuals, who are indifferent about sex, and are willing to have it if another person initiates it, but don't care either way. It's quite interesting to hear everybody else's experiences!

Thank you for the links!  Life and things got busy (thesis writing ate my world) and I hadn't been back over here.   I appreciate the understanding of what I was saying and being pointed in other helpful directions!