rambling

[rainbowocollie]

So my relationship with sexuality is complicated. In the past, as a teenager, I used to have more interest in sex and I'm sure I had a desire for it back then. I think as I've gotten older, that and my interest in romantic things has just faded. Those desires were never very strong altogether, but I did have them. I had a couple kiddie crushes, but not very strongly, and I didn't experience any crushes after puberty until very late in the game. They weren't very strong. These days I'm not only happy being single, I think I prefer it, and I think any desire for romance or sex is either fading or just...buried. I guess.

I think it's mainly that I've lost interest in romance, and that my sexuality is connected to romantic desire, for me. Though, that doesn't mean I want to do someone just because I've had a crush on them, I've never had sexual interest for any particular person. Just I used to have a general desire for sexuality.

I can see both romantic and sexual desires returning, just...only after knowing someone for a long time, I guess. The last time I had any interest in someone it was after knowing them for two or three years.

[rainbowocollie]

It's just confusing, because it used to be that I thought of sex as something I wanted to do one day. Now, I don't know, why have sex when I can masturbate. When I think of "would I want sex if I was in a relationship", I...don't know anymore. The idea of a relationship at all seems a bit unappealing, which is why I identify as greyromantic. But if I was romantically attracted to someone, I'm not sure I would want sex.

Demisexual seems to describe me closest, as I think if there was a strong bond I would probably have the interest.

 

I suppose if I ever find out differently, I can always change the label, no big deal. But it's confusing that I seem to have lost what interest I used to have.

[degenerate]

I think this may be somewhat common. Many people report a loss of interest in sex. There is usually a knee jerk reaction to medicalize this experience as if it is a problem, even if it doesn't stem from any discernible illness or cause the subject any distress or strife. As long as you find yourself healthy and your feelings don't disturb you or cause problems in your life, you are doing well and it will all works itself out, likely without any special effort.