Confusedd Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 When I was young I didn’t question this at all. I had a healthy sex drive. Then, in high school that changed. I felt like I could go years without sex. Here’s where it gets complicated... i am bipolar and had a manic episode my freshmen year of college. I actually sort of enjoyed sex for once. I got turned on once by looking at someone’s body which never happened. The next year me and my boyfriend split for a bit. I was hoping during the split that I’d find someone who’d satisfy me sexually because excluding the mania I’ve never enjoyed sex in my life. I slept around and it felt like a chore. I didn’t enjoy it at all, now that I was stable and not manic. There was no feeling down there. Me and my boyfriend are back together. I don’t enjoy sex still but I do it for him. I am not depressed, I know what that feels like. I watch porn and don’t get turned on. The hottest guy in the world could be touching my body and I wouldn’t feel aroused. So in conclusion, excluding the times of mania and my middle school years I feel like my sex drive is non existent. The only reason I have a boyfriend is because I love him and I don’t want to be alone. I love the romance and the cuddles. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I've moved this thread from 'Questions about Asexuality' to 'The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions'. Michael Tannock, Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Welcome to AVEN! You could be Greysexual if you experience Sexual Attraction, which is different from Libido. I define Sexual Attraction as leading to the desire to have sex with someone, meaning if what you're feeling doesn't lead to the desire to have sex with the person you're feeling it towards, then it's not Sexual Attraction, even if it is an attraction or arousal. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a 'Crazy Maze - optical illusion' Cake, Link to post Share on other sites
LilacJay Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Hi, nice to meet you! Since you are familiar with feelings of explicitly sexual attraction, but with great fluxuation and on a distintly irregular level, I think it's fair to consider yourself part of the greysexual spectrum. But, don't forget that labels are supposed to express your identity and not restrict it. I can help you only with a very limited understanding of your situation, so in the end, it's your call. Anyway, enjoy the cake: Link to post Share on other sites
Jen.921 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 My experience is really limited, I’m a newbie too, but for what it’s worth you do sound like you are on the ace spectrum and if grey asexual fits you best in your opinion then that is what you are. And in future if you do change your mind with new self discoveries then that is ok too. Welcome! 🧁🍰🎂💜♠️🐚 Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedd Posted June 23, 2019 Author Share Posted June 23, 2019 This community is so nice! Thank you everyone for the cake:) Link to post Share on other sites
BlankFreak Posted August 7, 2020 Share Posted August 7, 2020 Didh hihi- Just recently wonder if I could be greysexual. I can be attracted to people BUT most of the time I experience little to no sexual attraction. Even with my crushes. Out of three crushes through life, I only felt sexually attracted to one of them (and only every now and then too). Most of the time I just want to be close to them and hold hands/hugs/cuddle. Although I have a high libido and hoping to experiment with it one day. But it's more of the concept of control/discipline/care that gets me going. As long as I vibe/trust the person their looks don't matter? It's more of arousal at work instead of sexual attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
thekittyhawk Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 Sexual identity isn't set in stone! it can change a lot, especially in times when a lot of things in your life are changing. I started rethinking my whole sexual identity when I started uni, and everything I thought I knew got turned on its head! So your previous experiences don't invalidate your current ones, nor vice versa. Maybe now you are asexual, but if you don't want to label yourself that way because you felt attraction not so long ago, then grey-ace works too since that is any attraction somewhere along the ace-allo scale. Just remember it's okay to slide along that scale! This is the reason why I personally have abstained from labelling myself for the few years I've been figuring myself out and am still reluctant to do so. Putting yourself in a box can be an unnecessary stress when the only people who need to understand you are you and your partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Icannotthinkofaname Posted February 18, 2021 Share Posted February 18, 2021 I'm a bit confused about where I sit on the greysexuality spectrum. The first person I fancied was a celebrity when I was 10, but as I grew up I realised I didn't fancy literally anyone else and as others started doing sexual stuff in teenage years the idea repulsed me, even snogging. In my later teenage years I started being attracted to more tv characters and celebrities but still no real life person and my first attraction to a real person was when I was 18. After that they were few and far between. Now I'm 25 and more on the sexual side of the spectrum as sexual attraction is way more common but still a lot lower than the average allo sexual person, certain sexual activities still repulse me a bit and I don't value sex as much as others, despite having enjoyed it. Looking back I know when I was young I was greysexual maybe even gray ace but now I'm thinking i may have skewed too far towards the sexual side for that label to fit but I still feel I don't completely fit the allo sexual norm. Link to post Share on other sites
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