Anyone else doesn't observe when someone is flirting with them?

[alien.hedgehog]

Ok, so yesterday I was at my first Pride and it was great, I loved it. I wanted to go for a long time and now I feel so proud of myself and my comunity, especially the LGBTQ+ comunity from my country. I'd like to say many things about that day, but something in particular happened that still makes me laugh. Aparently a lot of people flirted with me yesterday and I didn't even realised it. I met a lot of new interesting people and some of them asked me for my instagram, which I gave to them, because why not? Also I saw a lot of people who stared at me, I thought that it was because I had painted on my face the aromantic and asexual flags, but, apparently, my bisexual friend told me that most of them looked at me in a certain way that I just don't get. Like, I don't understand, there where a lot of fine as fuck people there and you hit on the aroace punk? WTF?!

 

The idea is that I'm not the type of person people usually hit on. But aparently at Pride there are a lot of people who are into green haired punks? Like, I just don't get flirting because almost no one flirted with me before or because I'm aroace?

[NickyTannock]

I still don't know if anyone has ever flirted with me, which probably means I'm oblivious to flirting too.

[Bruce Wayne]

I don't think anyone ever flirted with me. At least I don't know about it. 😄 

[- Saph -]

There may be more people open to alternative cultures at a pride.

 

I used to be oblivious to flirting too because it is the last thing that I think about. Now I try to see these things before it goes out of hand. Problem is I can really stare 🤩 at people when listenning intently to somebody and it has often been misinterpreted.

[Phalena]

Right here. I also have to get told by others if something counts as flirting. XD

I try to learn and notice it myself but maybe I should stop with that because for a while it seemed like everyone was hitting on me, so I was like: No, this can't be realistic! Oh well...

 

XD

[Homer]

I'm as pretty as a 5 year old potato, so it doesn't happen to me. If it did (and assuming that I'd recognise it as such, which is another question ), I'd probably think that they lost a bet or something. However, there are lots of instances (and posts about them) where asexuals (or people who are close to being asexual) are being told that they've been flirty, only not to notice themselves.

[Yeast]

I'm rather oblivious as well. However, long away and far ago I was job hunting.  I found myself in a secretarial pool.  I was dressed in my best business suit and was acting quite assertive. Everybody began hitting on me like a school of hungry piranha. I didn't realize what was happening except perhaps they were all jerks with nothing better to do. When I got home it slowly occurred to me that perhaps they found me sexually attractive. I thought it was very funny.  People have stared at me before. Another time I was with someone whose other acquaintances I thought were her academic friends. As an attractive young woman told a lurid story of having a ball python sink its needle teeth into her flesh, I made eye contact with what I assumed was the professor. He then began glaring at me. I thought this gaping anus was just insecure. Later I realized I was at a gathering of masochists who were the harem of a psychopath. Would I like to join? Not on your life pal, and if I never see you again it will be too soon! 

[Starlit Sky]

First, I'm glad you went to Pride, and that it was such a positive experience for you! It's possible that they didn't recognize the ace and aro Pride flags, although the asexual one, at least, has been showing up in a lot more LGBTQ+ circles over the years. Or maybe they did recognize it and they just thought you were very pleasing to look at!

[✿ Camelia ✿]

For me works on the other way around. I am more oblivious about how I can come across as flirty. I am very chatty if the group is small or I'm in a one-on-one conversation and I easily get personal/humorous. I also tend to look at people a lot and I am very touchy feely. I mean, I feel so awkward talking to somebody without ever touching them (as long as they are not uncomfortable with it, of course). Being an introvert I hate small talks but it's hard to open up and have a deep, meaningful conversation with some invisible wall between me here, they there and no contact whatsoever in between. I can't explain it well, but it makes me feel more at ease with the other person/s. And that's it for me, just getting cosy knowing a new friend, yanno?! Someone had to tell me it was highly misinterpreted 🙈🙉🙊 

No way, no me, not ever! I just like people, that's all 😭 

 

So maybe you could have been perceived as flirty without even realizing it. Who knows? 

[Bruce Wayne]

1 hour ago, Homer said:

However, there are lots of instances (and posts about them) where asexuals (or people who are close to being asexual) are being told that they've been flirty, only not to notice themselves.

I've heard that myself. 😄 When I was younger, girls of my age thought I was trying to flirt with them. I was repulsed and offended by that idea (these days I wouldn't mind).

[starweb]

I'm not even sure I know what flirting is. I always thought I was just being friendly. Who knew...

[dehjahvoo]

I'm glad Pride was a good experience for you overall! 

 

I'm oblivious to flirting, too. I just think people like making pleasant conversation! Apparently what I read as chill conversation is often flirting... *shrug* My husband teases me whenever I don't notice it. Hell, only way I knew he was interested in me was by him spelling it out, since I totally didn't pick up on his years (years!) of flirting attempts. 

[letusdeleteouraccounts]

I wish people had a reason to flirt with me. I don’t believe I’ve been flirted with but then again, I think everybody is hitting on me in my daily life for whatever reason my brain has. It’d be nice if things were clear because it gives me a little more self confidence to know that someone appreciates me even if only for my looks

[Amcan]

I don't think anyone has flirted with me but then I wouldn't know if they were. For all I know I am constantly flirting with other people

[alien.hedgehog]

On 6/23/2019 at 6:36 PM, RC-121K said:

For me works on the other way around. I am more oblivious about how I can come across as flirty. I am very chatty if the group is small or I'm in a one-on-one conversation and I easily get personal/humorous. I also tend to look at people a lot and I am very touchy feely. I mean, I feel so awkward talking to somebody without ever touching them (as long as they are not uncomfortable with it, of course). Being an introvert I hate small talks but it's hard to open up and have a deep, meaningful conversation with some invisible wall between me here, they there and no contact whatsoever in between. I can't explain it well, but it makes me feel more at ease with the other person/s. And that's it for me, just getting cosy knowing a new friend, yanno?! Someone had to tell me it was highly misinterpreted 🙈🙉🙊 

No way, no me, not ever! I just like people, that's all 😭 

 

So maybe you could have been perceived as flirty without even realizing it. Who knows? 

Fuck...

I think you just gave a now life revelation and I honestly don't know if I should be excited or terrified....

[Philip027]

Quote

I don't think anyone has flirted with me but then I wouldn't know if they were. For all I know I am constantly flirting with other people

There is a difference between flirting, and other people thinking you're flirting.  To paraphrase Data, one is flirting; the other is not.

[BlueSpruce]

The idea of flirting is really confusing to me. I can't tell if people are flirting or just being friendly, so sometimes I feel really awkward in conversations because I don't know what the other person's intent is. 

[Janus the Fox]

Never notice anything of this nature, until somebody else points it out as rude, this extends to any social interaction though, even within my own SO, I don’t see any sexual or romantic signal, even with kisses.

[✿ Camelia ✿]

On 6/25/2019 at 5:21 PM, alien.hedgehog said:

Fuck...

I think you just gave a now life revelation and I honestly don't know if I should be excited or terrified....

I would hope to bring excitement rather than terror 😂 though if it comes to that one might just clarify, just to be sure (awkward moments lol)

[Twisted Tempest]

As far as I'm aware, no one has ever flirted with me, but it's highly possible I'm just completely oblivious. 

[deletedgone]

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Edited February 19, 2020 by RavenOak

[motography]

On 6/23/2019 at 6:22 AM, alien.hedgehog said:

Like, I just don't get flirting 

me too. sometimes after meeting someone new my friends will talk about how I looked at/talked to that person as if I was flirting and I am always puzzled. I struggle differentiating between when someone is interested platonically or if they are interested sexually (in a flirty way) so i end up always assuming its innocent because thats how i look at it 🤔

[Goonie]

I can pick up on it when it's other people being flirted with. I sometimes pick up on it when it's me and it's happening at the time. Most times if I pick up on it it is much, much later on.

[HareSong]

Flirting is like a foreign language that I don't understand. My best friend has watched a number of people flirt at me while I just politely continued to chat to them while being completely oblivious that it was happening. Then afterward she tells me about it. I always feel really awkward about it because I don't want to hurt people's feelings or waste their time.

 

On 7/13/2019 at 7:16 AM, motography said:

sometimes after meeting someone new my friends will talk about how I looked at/talked to that person as if I was flirting and I am always puzzled

Right?! I get told this too, usually, it is someone I find really interesting to talk to so I guess being genuinely interested in someone (in a strictly platonic way) is part of flirting or something.

[Soul Searcher]

What is flirting?

 

Lol.

 

I guess I am oblivious to it since I have not had many interactions with people who are not familiar to me and i only have in depth conversations with my friends so i guess I am totally oblivious to it to the point that I think they want something from me.

[Guest]

Yeah I'm pretty oblivious, that's autism for you 🤷‍♀️

[motography]

6 hours ago, HareSong said:

Right?! I get told this too, usually, it is someone I find really interesting to talk to so I guess being genuinely interested in someone (in a strictly platonic way) is part of flirting or something.

Which makes sense but it's unfortunate because I end up unintentionally flirting with like half the people I talk to 😖I get pretty nervous about this sometimes because I don't want to give people the wrong idea, but I don't think its something that we can completely avoid.