Pidgeon Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 I’m afab and in my teens and have been questioning my gender lately. There’s obviously other things that are making me question but to start? I hate the idea of people acknowledging my chest in any way, wether they just say the word, walk past/to the bra section with me, or god forbid glance at them or accidentally bump into them. I’d ideally just like a flat chest because I really don’t like the thought of other people knowing they exist even though female-bodied people having them is an obvious and well known thing. I wear sports bras at all times unless I’m getting into the shower and feel best in a baggy shirt/a hoodie and boyish pants. When my dad first mentioned that it was time to start getting bras he started throwing around jokes about chests as what was probably a means to normalize it or make me feel better with humor but in reality terrified me and made me feel disgusting and I just wanted it to stop. Just anything other than the term “chest” for that area refuses to come from my mouth. When I’m alone it’s fine; it’s only in public that it acts up. But back to my original question...is it selfish of me to want a binder? I feel bad because what I feel isn’t a crippling feeling or anything like I’ve seen people describe. I don’t want to be assuming anything or subconsciously be trying to be a “special snowflake”. I don’t want to be a fake or anyone to think I’m a fake or that I’m looking for attention or being “influenced” by literal people who are just existing. I have a therapist I’ve known for years and feel pretty comfortable with and they seem very knowledgeable and definitely accepting of the LGBTQ+ community so I’m considering telling them what I’ve been feeling but I again don’t want this to be a phase or something like that. I don’t like having attention on me and I feel like telling them will only force it down on me hard. I’m open to give any other background childhood or recentish feelings/doings/etc if it means I can be better helped. I’m just not sure what to do. Any help would be majorly appreciated like dang you have no idea This post is all over the place and I apologize but thanks for reading anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
Anony-moose Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 (Cis person here so not entirely sure how much I can help you with or how valid my argument is but) I'd say- wear what makes you feel most comfortable. If you want to wear a binder do it, it's not selfish, and it's not demeaning towards gender queer/nonbinary/trans folk, if it's something you genuinely would feel more comfortable wearing. I don't think you need to have a "crippling feeling" in order to wear one. Any negative feeling towards your chest and the desire to bind it is a valid enough reason to wear a binder. Link to post Share on other sites
N8ty L3asT Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 HAAAY I’m going to start off with that these are just my options so you can take with a grain of salt. Humans are selfish by nature there’s nothing wrong with it but maybe be selfish moderately if that makes any sense, and for people acknowledging your chest in front of you is rude as h*ll no matter how you identify yourself it’s just plan rude, on the binder part ( I did a little research for this) what I’ve read it’s not 100% safe but the safest binder is what your looking for the chest binder and I looked on amazon and inexpensive if that does anything for you, so I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s a decision for you to make but I don’t know if your out with your parents even though from what you wrote it doesn’t sound like it is the case you might need to consult with them sense you are under age and it involves your body. Sooo I hope this helps you in some way or maybe just gives something to think about, be safe and stay strong and ignore those rude hecklers as best you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Also cis - but I don't see it as selfish at all. No one should be shamed into being that uncomfortable - by the public or by the LGBTQ+ community. If it will make you feel that much better, it is your right. But it is something that can cause physical complications, so I'd suggest doing what you are doing and finding more information from people with experience. Just don't be afraid to ask them. Link to post Share on other sites
no-longer-in-use Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Nope, that's not selfish at all. Just make sure you get a safe binder--I recommend GC2B. And try not to worry about this being a phase or you being a "special snowflake", because who cares if it's a phase? Just do what makes you happy in the present moment as long as you're not hurting anyone. Also, gender dysphoria doesn't have to be crippling. What you're describing definitely sounds to me like it could be dysphoria. Link to post Share on other sites
Ei_Armoa Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 All of that ^ Link to post Share on other sites
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