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Nightmares, please someone help I can’t do this anymore


SkyT_Gaming

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SkyT_Gaming

Please god, someone help if they can. I don’t know what to do. For the past few months every once in a while when I am particularly anxious or feeling like I am lying to myself I’ve been having nightmares. One time I forced myself to picture myself in a sexual scenario and I didn’t stop when I got uncomfortable. I forced myself to see it through until I was in tears and about to vomit. It wasn’t a good scene and it should have been enough to prove to myself that I was asexual and that I wasn’t going to have sec but I keep having nightmares

 

i keep having these dreams where I feel like I’m lying to myself and the only way I can prove it to myself is to have sex with an unknown person. Usually they aren’t anyone in specific but occasionally it’s someone I know or a weird manifestation of someone. 

 

What does it mean? Is it true that the only way I’m going to be able to prove this to myself is to have sex? I don’t want to, but if it means I don’t have to feel like this anymore I would. I would do anything to stop with these nightmares and waking up anxious and feeling like I’m going to vomit. 

 

They are actually similar to dreams I had before I started going to therapy where, (TRIGGER WARNING) I would harm myself in some way. Sometimes even attempt to kill myself. I would always wake up anxious and crying and feeling like i’m going to puke. It feels the same. But I don’t know how to prove it to myself. The first time an expert was able to tell me that I didn’t gave depression and what was happening didn’t mean I was going to harm myself. I don’t know what to do. Someone, please help. I’m scared and I’m tired and I don’t know what to do. 

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Strange-quark

I don't know what would help, either; sorry :_(

But I've had something similar, and my two cents are:

- Do not do anything you don't want to. Your dreams are just your brains playing tricks on you, they're not real.

- Especially if you have already a therapy contact, talk to a professional. If not, your local A&E can hopefully direct you somewhere.

If you want virtual hugs or cake or just sympathy, we're here for you 1<3.

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Having sex with an "unknown person" won't really prove anything anyway.  Even a good chunk of outright sexual people won't want sex with randoms.

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NickyTannock

There are only two ways that I know to help, but they will require time and effort.
 
First, I have the same doubt. When I say that I'm Asexual, part of me thinks I'm lying to myself and others. I've found that this doubt goes away when I ask myself if I experience Sexual Attraction because the answer is a resounding no.
You don't need to have sex to know that you're Asexual, just as someone doesn't need to have had sex before they know they're Sexual. I'm 34, and I've never had sex.
 
Second, I generally don't have nightmares because I'm a Lucid Dreamer. Meaning I am conscious when I'm dreaming that I'm dreaming, and can control my dreams.
To become a Lucid Dreamer, you'll first need to keep a Dream Journal, which will help you to remember your dreams.
Then get into the habit of always questioning whether you're dreaming, even if you're sure you're awake, as this will carry over into your dreams.
 
I hope this helps you.

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Alawyn-Aebt

I have no idea quite honestly, besides the basics that other have said. The only thing new I can add is that I had dreams in which I would commit suicide, not just attempt. I had probably hundred of those dreams for a little over a year; which sounds similar to yours (although I would have attempted suicide had I remembered to set my alarm so probably slightly more serious in that case). As to sexual encounter dreams I never had one so I cannot comment, but I image them as being truly horrifying. As I am never anxious I really cannot help you with that one either, just remember it is a dream. If there is someone you could talk to who you trust completely it might help somewhat.

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NessieAvery

I think if you follow through with what your brain is trying to get you to do, you will end up in a more hurt and confused state than you are in currently. It seems like your brain is trying to get you to hurt yourself, either physically or otherwise. As a general rule, if it is in the same vein as self harm, or feels like it at all, stay the hell away from whatever it's trying to get you to do. It's not real, it doesn't have to control you. But I would recommend seeing a counsellor or talking to someone about this because if your brain is trying to get you to hurt yourself, you need to know how to tell it to shut up and get in line

 

 

Edit: many hugs and slices of cake

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I’ve suffered through constant recurring nightmares myself, and all I can really offer is that you have to remember that it isn’t real and does not dictate your waking moments. Dreams don’t follow normal logic; events that take place in them do not need to reflect real life accurately. In other words, they are often lies fabricated by your unconscious mind. I’d have nightmares of dying, often involving being hunted down and attacked and fighting for my life before suffering a fatal injury and slowly dying (I often won but I would still be mortally wounded). It’s a terrible feeling but I’d still wake safe in my bed. Another thing is to clear your waking hours of as much stress as possible; by eating healthy and reducing stress, there’s a chance that your sleep will improve as well. 

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