Iam9man Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 It’s a bit sad, but again and again I hear stories of asexuals on the more sensual side being crowded out of ace chats because asexuals “don’t do/enjoy x, y & z”. I identify as an hypersensual asexual because I meet both common definitions of asexuality and I do enjoy a lot of sensual things (including foreplay). Does anyone identify as grey because they enjoy more sensual things than other aces, even if they strictly speaking meet the definitions? (Just an honest question, which I hope is not disrespectful to anyone. My apologies if it is) Link to post Share on other sites
Ennis Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 I kind of relate to the two of you. I call myself asexual because it is the most accurate word. Others may be "more asexual" than me - I've stopped bothering. While most of the appeal of sex is foreign to me, I do get parts of it. Nothing wrong with that. It's nobody else's business what exactly I'm willing to do with a potential partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Rkod75 Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 I identify as grey, but I'm still kind of trying to figure out how true that really is to my identity. I think I might just be asexual, but I choose to emphasize my grey areas because I don't want people to misunderstand me and not understand that I do have a strong attraction for other people.. it's just not the kind where I want to engage in intercourse with anyone.. Another part of me wonders if using the word grey isn't right for me, because I also don't want people to believe that I am more sexual than I actually am. So yeah.. I'm still trying to figure it out, its not that I'm judgmental of other people's sexuality, I just don't want people to misunderstand me. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted June 20, 2019 Author Share Posted June 20, 2019 4 hours ago, cigarettesatmidnight said: In the other hand I do not feel comfortable saying that I am asexual because it is like people is expecting me to be sex negative/sex repulse/touch averse, and it is also not like that. Exactly this. 4 hours ago, cigarettesatmidnight said: I am actually really afraid of joining my local community because of this. Maybe I am misjudging, but I am pretty sure everyone is quite sex negative there That’s sad. I’ve seen it on AVEN too, where conversations essentially crowd out anyone who’s not at the repulsed end, to the extent then when I try to balanced out the conversation others complain they feel like an outsider in their own community because I’m sex-indifferent/positive. If both ends of the spectrum are feeling excluded we’re getting something wrong, in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted June 20, 2019 Author Share Posted June 20, 2019 1 hour ago, Rkod75 said: I identify as grey, but I'm still kind of trying to figure out how true that really is to my identity. I think I might just be asexual, but I choose to emphasize my grey areas because I don't want people to misunderstand me and not understand that I do have a strong attraction for other people.. it's just not the kind where I want to engage in intercourse with anyone.. Another part of me wonders if using the word grey isn't right for me, because I also don't want people to believe that I am more sexual than I actually am. So yeah.. I'm still trying to figure it out, its not that I'm judgmental of other people's sexuality, I just don't want people to misunderstand me. Yeah, difficult balancing act. I read a book by an asexual who identifies as grey simply because she enjoys kissing with tongues and other aces felt that was too sexual. I don’t judge how anyone chooses to identify, but by that measure I’d be something like a nymphomaniac! Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted June 20, 2019 Author Share Posted June 20, 2019 2 hours ago, Rkod75 said: I do have a strong attraction for other people.. it's just not the kind where I want to engage in intercourse with anyone.. Incidentally, same here. Link to post Share on other sites
GRexCarolinii Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 Mm I like using Gray as a catch-all term, with more flexibility like most of the time I do relate to the asexual label and like it, but occasionally have wondered if perhaps I'm more demi and I'm less sex-repulsed so much as sex-indifferent I don't really feel any sort of sexual attraction, so it's never ever a drive for me. But if I was with the right person, I might be fine with it on the odd occasion but more just for, yeah, the sensual and romantic side of it that because I want/need/feel sexual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted June 20, 2019 Author Share Posted June 20, 2019 1 minute ago, GRexCarolinii said: and I'm less sex-repulsed so much as sex-indifferent I’m repulsed at some sexual acts, but indifferent to others (and arguably borderline favourable to others) so I just settle on “sex-indifferent” for ease of explanation. 3 minutes ago, GRexCarolinii said: the sensual and romantic side of it Definitely. I’m not attracted to or desire sex, but when I do have sex I definitely enjoy parts of it (i.e. the sensual side). Link to post Share on other sites
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