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where do I fit? Who accepts asexual people like me?


lost female soul

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lost female soul

Is asexual in GLBT?  Is it time to stop adding letters to the line?  are we forgotten?  I but asexual for sexual orientation. wrote it in.  they coded it for low libido.  im now going to leave it blank.  Finally got that off my complex history. i just found out that its not my obligation to tend to another's sexual needs. i grew up in a really messed up family life.  they thought i was screwed up too.  turns out yes, but from their abuse of all kinds.  I got raped in October of 2018.  ive lost all my friends. No one understands me since brain surgery and now I have no one to be my friends with.  I dont trust anyone!  they can be a great friend for 10 years and then get angry at me because Im not who I once was.  im sick.  ive had a hell of 6 months.  Hardest of my life.  I was born female, but my parents wanted a boy or at least a tuff girl.  I was not who they wanted.  My mom still alive badmouths me all over my city.  it works, others in the community feel the need to punish the almost 50 year old woman.  They do not know how ive been abused by her, family members under her watch and her friends children when I was a child.

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It sounds like you've had a very hard time, and it is disappointing to feel like people don't support you. The LGBTQ+ community sometimes doesn't accept asexuality, and sometimes doesn't accept bisexuality. That doens't mean most of them don't, it tends to be a personal decision rather than a community discrimination. But we're never alone, especially here. The internet is a wonderful tool for all kinds of people to find the support and understanding they've been lacking in their physical surroundings. That sounds really... not dismissive, but overly optimistic (?), and I have been in dark placse for enough time to know I have thought that way a lot, too. The important thing is to find safe places, and I hope you can find something at AVEN.

 

49 is perfectly fine. A lot of us are older and have taken time to understand.

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hi @lost female soul. i’m terribly sorry you’ve had to go through so much. i know words only mean so much, especially from a stranger online, but know that the community is here for you.

 

to answer your first question, whether or not asexuals are included is still being debated. while many people in real life include asexuals, a loud minority online do not. this leads to a bit of fighting, which can be confusing. in my opinion, you should just see if the lgbt community near you considers asexuals to be lgbt, and decide if you consider yourself lgbt.

 

also, it’s perfectly fine to be 49 and on aven. 

 

please, check out the resource sticky here on aven or google depression/suicide resources. no one wants you to suffer alone in these yards times, and talking to a professional is a great way to help get yourself through.

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Not wanting a relationship is something a lot of us have dealt with, and even identify as. It is perfectly acceptable, even if a lot of people have issues understanding a lack of attraction.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I didn't figure out I was asexual until I was 44 and still here at 57.

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On 6/19/2019 at 11:11 PM, Zagadka said:

Not wanting a relationship is something a lot of us have dealt with, and even identify as. It is perfectly acceptable, even if a lot of people have issues understanding a lack of attraction.

That has been my life since I was a teenager, but didn't really understand it or identify as aromantic until last year.

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On 6/19/2019 at 11:07 PM, Zagadka said:

"and sometimes doesn't accept bisexuality"

Why do they sometimes not accept bing bi?

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