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Of Music and Dysphoria


Here&Queer

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Sooooo this is honestly more of a confused rambling than anything else, but does anyone else every get dysphoric listening to certain music? If I listen to music that sounds very "feminine" (sang by a female artist with a high voice, sounds pretty and delicate, often about romance) I start feeling uncomfortable and mildly dysphoric (I'm AFAB by the way). If I listen to music sang by women with lower/more unusual sounding voices that don't sound soft and delicate, I feel more comfortable and I kind of relax into it (???). Am I the only one?? Also, does anyone have any good music recommendations of female singers who have a more alternative sound and don't only sing about love? 

 

I feel like this is such a strange and specific thing to experience but anyways there you go.

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Well I wish I could be of some use but most artists I listen are male and basically songs about romance are basically unavoidable nowadays. The only thing I can recommend for relaxing music is patient is the night and classical music. 

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Not me, but I can get the opposite where I might be listening to a song sung by a guy that gives me this nice mental image of myself and makes me feel good and confident in myself. So kinda like music induced gender euphoria.

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5 hours ago, Starbogen said:

Not me, but I can get the opposite where I might be listening to a song sung by a guy that gives me this nice mental image of myself and makes me feel good and confident in myself. So kinda like music induced gender euphoria.

I’m in a similar boat. Though I usually use it to combat dysphoria. The playlist I’ve made for it is mostly men vocalists (3 out of the 22 are sung by women). 

 

Ill put the three songs in case you wanna check them out. “One woman army” by Porcelain Black. “Devils don’t fly” by Natalia Kills. And the glee version of “Womanizer”. 

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3 minutes ago, ReyGraves said:

I’m in a similar boat. Though I usually use it to combat dysphoria. The playlist I’ve made for it is mostly men vocalists (3 out of the 22 are sung by women). 

 

Ill put the three songs in case you wanna check them out. “One woman army” by Porcelain Black. “Devils don’t fly” by Natalia Kills. And the glee version of “Womanizer”. 

Thanks so much! I'll definitely check them out.

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5 hours ago, Starbogen said:

Not me, but I can get the opposite where I might be listening to a song sung by a guy that gives me this nice mental image of myself and makes me feel good and confident in myself. So kinda like music induced gender euphoria.

I definitely get that

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6 hours ago, ColeHW said:

Well I wish I could be of some use but most artists I listen are male and basically songs about romance are basically unavoidable nowadays. The only thing I can recommend for relaxing music is patient is the night and classical music. 

Oof yeah, you're right that they're all very romance-orientated. Still, thanks for the suggestions!

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Oh as for music recommendations...

Lots of stuff by Nina Simone, maybe start with Feeling Good, Sinnerman, Ain't Got No I Got Life, Ne Me Quitte Pas. Also try out Kate Bush, she does sing pretty high pitched at times but it's definitely an unusual style, Running up that Hill, Army Dreamers, Babooshka, Wuthering Heights; high pitched but weird and interesting. 

Also huh, going through some old music on my phone I'm realizing most of it seems to be by men..

 

Anyway, here's some other random suggestions. Hero of the Story by Regina Spektor, Hideaway by Karen O and the Kids, Amongster by Polica. Ålen and California Dreaming by Amason. Shoop by Salt n Pepa, not soft and delicate and more about lust than love. Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics is an obvious one but why not mention it anyway. Good as Hell by Lizzo. 

 

There's several styles in there, hopefully you like at least a couple of them.

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12 hours ago, Starbogen said:

Oh as for music recommendations...

Lots of stuff by Nina Simone, maybe start with Feeling Good, Sinnerman, Ain't Got No I Got Life, Ne Me Quitte Pas. Also try out Kate Bush, she does sing pretty high pitched at times but it's definitely an unusual style, Running up that Hill, Army Dreamers, Babooshka, Wuthering Heights; high pitched but weird and interesting. 

Also huh, going through some old music on my phone I'm realizing most of it seems to be by men..

 

Anyway, here's some other random suggestions. Hero of the Story by Regina Spektor, Hideaway by Karen O and the Kids, Amongster by Polica. Ålen and California Dreaming by Amason. Shoop by Salt n Pepa, not soft and delicate and more about lust than love. Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics is an obvious one but why not mention it anyway. Good as Hell by Lizzo. 

 

There's several styles in there, hopefully you like at least a couple of them.

Thank you so much for all of the recommendations! I listened to some of them and I really enjoy the different and unique styles they have. Thanks again!

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I do know of a trans singer, and every time I hear it, I'm just like "wow why can't I be like that", so that definitely causes dysphoria.


Asides from that one case, most songs that cause dysphoria are tied to a particular experience, like when the choir director wouldn't let me sing a song because "I'm not a girl".

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As far as music is concerned, my dysphoria shows more when I try to sing along with male singers and just—can't. Well, it also happens with female singers with lower registers. But I definitely think I get where you're coming from. Sometimes I listen to female singers with softer/higher/more delicate voices and I can sing along with them because that's my range and I kind of want to die inside.

 

I don't really know what an alternative sound would be, but I like Amanda Palmer's Guitar Hero and Sing, and ARKONA's lead singer has an amazing voice that isn't too high (though they're a metal band, sooo).

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On 6/26/2019 at 2:01 PM, Jinkx said:

Sometimes I listen to female singers with softer/higher/more delicate voices and I can sing along with them because that's my range and I kind of want to die inside.

This.

On 6/26/2019 at 2:01 PM, Jinkx said:

Amanda Palmer's Guitar Hero and Sing, and ARKONA's lead singer has an amazing voice that isn't too high (though they're a metal band, sooo).

Awesome, thanks for the recommendations!

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Just Somebody

Sometimes I come across some gems like Dorian Electra to comfort me: 

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u3K6_89Ee4U

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MDDukLyXY-M

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k3E2pBC1R2A

 

 

 

Or even random songs I can headcanon as Trans :

 

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UabZ9_qMHN4

 

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AaIf4X_wgA8

 

I always cry my genderfluid tears with this and this last one

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hpN30xYO52o

 

 

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