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Sex and "respect"?


RoseGoesToYale

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RoseGoesToYale

Something I've never understood but I see all the time in TV and movies is this concept of people "not respecting someone they've had sex with". It's usually in terms of a man respecting a woman. Like sometimes a female character will say "Will you still respect me in the morning?" It doesn't make sense to me. If both parties were consenting and the encounter went down without incident, even if the sex was less than satisfactory, why would there be any grounds for disrespecting the other person? Is it just an old sexist thing?

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letusdeleteouraccounts

Because a lot of people these days are literally only looking for sex when it comes to certain people and it’s men mostly with this mindset. Some relationships are made in way where one has no care for the other except that they’re in the same bed getting it on every night. If something happens, they move to their next sexual target

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Yes, probably some old sexist bullshit about how women are supposed to appear "prim and proper" at all times, so that if they ever show any sort of inkling of being sexually desirous toward someone else, they think it comes off as offputting and unladylike.

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Madonna-Whore Complex, but ingrained on a wider scale where we're taught to expect that kind of judgment whether or not we hold it ourselves or buy in to what it means. It's an outdated attitude but still explicitly present in many people and implicit in the fabric of our culture to some degree. 

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"Will you still respect me in the morning?" is code for, "Since I am a woman and since I am supposed to be the gatekeeper of sex, will you still see me as having any value after I have put out, or will my worth be diminished because as a woman my value in this society is based on how "pure" or how much of a "slut" I am."

 

For the record, if you ever feel like someone won't respect you after having sex with you, they're a pretty terrible human being. 

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verymelancholic

Sexist culture. A lot of men treat women like one-use (pardon the term) cum dumpsters. It's almost celebrated for a man to have sex with a woman and then forget about her in the morning. Sure, you can say it's a one night stand, but at least treat her right.

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