Jump to content

Hard with relations


YourePerfect

Recommended Posts

YourePerfect

Hi, is where any genderqueer folks, who have problems with making friends and dating with cis people?
Well, my problem is that for me is easier to talk with opposite gender, but they often fall in love with me and then I always fall in depression. I strongly dislike how they see my body and I often get myself thinking about transitioning with plastic surgery help. But it seems to much and I think it would be like a violence for my body. But I just can't live in this world.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Connecting to cis people of my gender assigned at birth, especially straight ones, is more difficult for me than with other people. I don't have no real experience with dating cis people. In the past I have dated seriously only trans people. Now it is the first time I am dating a cis guy. It is important for me that they don't see me as male. Being pushed into a male role feels so deeply wrong to me. It is not a depression for me more a disconnect from the world, like that my body is still there and acting, but I am not.

 

So often I cannot relate to cis men, I just don't understand them. The ones I can relate to are often gender non-conforming.

 

If surgery is to much for you, think about small things you can change like clothes, haircut, pronouns. You are valid if you want surgery or not. I believe you are a wonderful person.

Link to post
Share on other sites
YourePerfect

Thank you! ❤️

Link to post
Share on other sites

Surgery, especially for AFAB people is a very serious step not to be taken lightly, as you well know I'm sure. With that also comes taking hormones, which will change you as a person. Both of these reasons make me decide against doing so, but yes. I know what you mean. Having friends of the opposite sex to the same extent as same sex friends can feel like it's nigh on impossible. A solution could be to have asexual/aromantic friends of friends who are gay, but that comes close to looking for friends with a specific agenda in mind, which may or may not sit well with you. And, they can be difficult to find too, especially asexual ones. I can't say anything about dating cis people as I have little to no experience with that. Having said that, I've been on many 'dates' without realising. I thought I was going out with a friend and they thought differently - cue end of friendship in many if not all cases. Life's not easy and I'm sorry I can't offer a solution. You can try making your body less attractive through the clothes you wear but quite quickly you may feel you're not presenting the real you to your friends, and that's not really healthy either. I find it difficult to live in this world too for that reason.

Link to post
Share on other sites
YourePerfect

Wow, thank you for reply! ❤️

Link to post
Share on other sites
Janus the Fox

I don’t think I’ve ever connected with people on any gender level, though making friends is often a foreign concept to me in general.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/17/2019 at 8:13 PM, Anguis said:

Hi, is where any genderqueer folks, who have problems with making friends and dating with cis people?.... I strongly dislike how they see my body 

 

Wait... so... Do they know you're genderqueer? Because if you're dating someone, they should see your body the way YOU see your body, no matter what. You don't need surgery for your partner to see you that way. And if they're interacting with your body in a way that violates your gender, that's really messed up. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...