Are you an individualist, a loner, or gregarious?

[Tom Nook]

While reading some of the old posts here, I noticed several people mentioning how they are individualists, or loners because of their asexuality. So, I thought it'd be pretty interesting to see just how many rugged individualists, loners (for lack of a better word), and gregarious (social) people we have here.

EDIT: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! I'm a real amoeba now!! :D

[Live R Perfect]

YAYY! I told you it would't take long! Happy Amoebadom, Fama! :D

Now, back to the question at hand...

I guess I am a bit of a loner in some people's eyes, but I prefer to have a small number of friends and acquaintances that I can really trust and relate to than to know hundreds of people, none of whom are real friends.

All of my best friends live in other parts of the country, but this makes it all the nicer when I go to visit them. I don't think I'd appreciate them as much if I saw them everyday, y'know?

[Tom Nook]

Thank you liver! I can't wait till I start asexually reproducing enough to start my own colony! :D

[Jayann]

Yay for the new Amoeba! *straps the Single-Celled-Organism party hat onto your little pate* Opah!

Ahem, back on topic. How are you defining the difference between individualist and loner?

I suppose I'm very picky about who I spend my time with, and how often.

I am an extremely shy person around people I don't know well, and am easily intimidated by strangers. If I'm able to break the ice (which almost always has to do with discovering a common sense of humor) then I can get relatively chatty.

With the few people I am comfortable with, I'm downright goofy and very open. I'm *true* friends with an ever fewer number of people. The two friends that survived the high school to college transition are my chiefest sources of emotional fulfillment right now.

[Tom Nook]

wow, You sound EXACTLY 100% like me julie, right down to the total goofball bit when around friends! :D As for the difference between individualists and loners, I meant choice 1 to be individualists, and choice 2 to be loners, the difference between them being that individualists DON'T want to bother with any people or socialize, while the loners like socializing and being with people, but cannot because people are being asshats towards them or whatnot. Hope that clarifies things a little. Maybe I should've put the actual words in there instead of just the descriptions hehe. ^^;;

off topic: I love the party hat! Now to celebrate! *puts on loud dance music* :D

[Jayann]

Yeah, sorry about that. I actually missed the poll part in the beginning, so I didn't get the definitions. *whacks herself with the Shut Up Nerf Bat*

*whap!*

Bat: Shut UP!

Me: Ow.

[whirlygirl]

i'm a mixture of loner + gregarious!

[cijay]

I'm an individualist but not in that thorough of a form. I like being with one or two people but I also enjoy my own company. It really has nothing to do with being "A", just a family trait and I'm happy writing or working on something by myself. But I like social times too.

[Jayann]

Oh, that's true. My social interaction has nothing to do with my asexuality. My lack of physical attraction to people has no effect on the way I interact with people on a daily basis.

[JKReagan99]

I do enjoy being around people, though I tend to be more selective and prefer to be around friends, as I feel a bit uncomfortable around a lot of people I don't know when I have to interact with them. I also do have times where I do want to be by myself.

[Bestatued Head]

I rely don't like people that much and disdain social relationships. I don't mind talking to strangers though. They are kinda cool.

Yea, I guess I'm an independent mind. :?

[cronos]

I am an individualist. But there are friends whom I enjoy being in company with. It's just that I enjoy "me-time" as much as I enjoy being around the few friends I have.

[Guest]

I am a psycho (in a good way!) around my close friends, but I tend to keep to myself around people I don't know really well. I don't really like the mentality of people in high school.

And this is my 200th post! Woo!

[Tom Nook]

Congrats inanechild! :D *throws confetti and does lil' jig*

[SoulofSorrow]

I am a loner because I do everything alone with my dog ,but not with other people! People can tell that ...I am unhappy by looking at my blank emotionless expression on my face ,so they ignore me or complain to me that I don't smile as often! :? :(

[Jayann]

Hmm? "Asexual" does not translate to "lost soul," you know. I'm actually a rather happy person, generally speaking. If people tell me to smile more, it's not because I'm depressed, it's because my default facial expression isn't one of immense joy. It just happens to look pensive/annoyed, when really I'm not feeling anything in particular. I'm also easily ignored because I'm introverted, and I blend in.

Has nothing to do bearing some sort of asexual stigma.

[SoulofSorrow]

I changed my paragraph because it doesn't seem to make any sense at all . I should of said'; that people who ignore me in the streets do know I'm a loner , but not an asexual. Smiling at people always seem tiresome to me when my facial muscles get sore from doing it alot!

[gambit_boi]

humph. individualist here. don't get me wrong, people are alright, but i'd rather make an idiot of myself in private and alone, thank you very much.

[Cate Perfect]

Yeah, I prefer to be alone, as well.

And I must have a naturally 'unhappy' expression because people are always telling me to smile more, when I feel perfectly fine. I resent strangers telling me to smile. I was perfectly happy until some schmuck tells me to do something, then I really do looked pissed off.

Cate

[JimDandy]

Well, it's odd. I like a good conversation and don't mind talking to people I don't already know. Most people have a good story or two which usually only takes a little coaxing to get it out of them.

On the other hand, when I close my apartment door, I much prefer that I'm the only one on the inside. If I don't get a few hours "downtime", I start getting cranky.

[Cate Perfect]

Yes, when I'm home I want to be there alone. My pets are plenty company for me. And I get cranky if I feel as if someone is cutting in on my alone time. Not a fan of the telephone for this reason.

Cate

[Icarus]

I probably come closest to "loner" but also individualist too. Alone-time is compulsory for me but also I really like having meaningful interaction with others. What I prefer hasn't been what I've had though. The "loner" part is more due to circumstance than choice. People in general just don't give a damn about me and my company, and I don't have situations I can be in where I can have meaningful interaction with a lot of people. Because of it I've been largely alone in the world the majority of my adult life aside from relatives and casual acquaintances, although I did have very few good/best friends back in school when there were people to be around.

[OrganicPainCollector]

"so they ignore me or complain to me that I don't smile as often!"

I love the qoute, "Smile it confuses people"

That is so true. Like most girls smile at everyone. I don't smile unless I see a friend or detect solid irony.

I'm an individualist. My problem is I am really terrible at small talk. So I guess life will get even tougher for me when I finally finish school.

exit.

[Artemis]

I need to have quite a bit of time on my own or other people start driving me mad. On the other hand, if I spend too much time on my own it also drives me mad. I do like to hang out with other people, but prefer it if it's with people I know well, especially my 2 best friends who I can totally be myself with. They know I'm asexual, which is great as we can have a laugh about it! With other people I have to watch what I say a bit more.

[Cate Perfect]

DEATH to small talk!! These are the same people who are constantly on their mobiles. Most of their conversations have to do with where they are, 'Yeah, I'm in the store. The book store. You know, the one near the beach...Oh, now I'm in the history section...Going over to look through the fiction...'

Ladies and Gentlemen: Technology, how it improves our lives. Now you can relay your precise location to anyone at anytime.

Cate

[Zorui]

As a general rule, the less people there are within a 500-foot radius, the happier I am.

[JKReagan99]

Thinking more on this, I do like to be alone a lot, but when I am alone, I seem to drift off into my own little world and become more depressed. I think I like having people around that I know/trust, as long as I don't have to interact with them....

[davelwhite]

I like being around my close friends as much time as I can get, although I do need some alone time. I am shy with strangers but only some of the time. When I find myself in a genuinely gregarious group of strangers I can enjoy that. "Genuinely" means there aren't hidden rules of status and "networking" and forced smalltalk about all the "right" subjects and stuff. Another source of "genuine" fun with strangers is when it becomes apparent that they can actually talk about controversial subjects, rather than getting all offended if somebody has an unusual idea.

In genral, I agree with the DEATH TO SMALLTALK idea, though... I find smalltalk where you have to make witty conversation with people you know you are never going to see again, to be almost as bad as sex. Whereas, dancing with strangers or even cuddling with them, if that's the mood the group is in, can be fun!

Having acquaintances (i.e. people you're supposed to be smiley with without any of the emotional closeness or commitment-to-return-phone-calls of actual friendship) is a pain for me, and I hate it when people tell me to smile more, like I'm some kind of performer. I hate it when people tell me that instead of wanting my friendships to be more intense, I should just make more friends (and thereby have a whole stable of shallow friends). Fewer and deeper is better for me.

I also hate how some people think a "friend" is anyone you are polite with, whether you know them or are close to them or not. Some people get offended if I say I am not their friend, but I just mean it as a factual statement, like "so-and-so is not my lover" or "so-and-so is not my great aunt." It doesn't mean I hate them.

dave

[OrganicPainCollector]

I actually think cellphones are the ultimate anti-social device for the insecure. A cellphone is a means of always seeming in demand even while alone. I'm sure we all know people who hate to do anything without someone else with them. They consider being insolitude at any point a failure of some kind of their own. So, a cellphone allows to always be in a group even if it is just describing where they are at. It's a real bad phenomena in California, it used to be people would start lighting up the moment they walked out of class. Now they start dialing... This also perpetuates the problem of being alone in the crowd because it creates even less of a compulsion to humanize with those around you. Which contributes to the lack of empathy in Humanity that allows so much violence and hostility. Just a theory I could be wrong.

[janedoe]

Well, I'm quite a mixture. I'm certainly the ultimate loner in its definition, and in my appearance, but I certainly can enjoy spending time with the rare few people I'm acquainted with as friends. I don't long for many friends, just a few people I can truly clique with. I don't clique with most people, and thats not really just to do with my asexuality although its factor enough, but moreso with other issues I have--emotionally. Social Anxiety to be specific(although this is NOT my cause for avoiding sex, as I truly don't possess sexual urges).

So um, on the other hand, a little individualism at times is fine by me. And I do tend to hate most people, and find myself venting(mostly to myself) that I "hate everyone" on quite the occasion. But that's obviously because I can't relate. It may just be largely my own fault for not "conforming". :Shrugs: Whatever.