AppleOfEve Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 I have recently started dating at his guy who is a heterosexual person. It's not my first mixed sexual relationship,( me being asexual and he is not ) but it is the first one that has lasted this long ( 7months). We are sexually active. He is kind, attentive and doesn't pressure me into anything. It's the closest I am gonna get to "great sex" anyway I find myself having to remind him that I am still asexual. Has anyone else dealt with this? Your partner doubting your sexuality just because you sleep with them? How do I reinforce that I am asexual, whenever I try to I feel like I am being mean or dashing hope. 🙄 Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 I personally don't feel like someone billed as a "partner" should really be doubting you about anything having to do with your self-identity. They should be supports, not skeptics. Link to post Share on other sites
Wikkit Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 @AppleOfEve Hi there! So, I had a similar problem when I came out to my boyfriend. On his part I think it stemmed from him not having ever heard of asexuality before and not really understanding it; he felt he was getting a bit mixed messages and (as we'd been together three years) it bruised his ego a bit. I wouldn't say I had to remind him that I am asexual, more that I had to remind him of what that means and how it affects how I respond to intimacy. And I still do, sometimes, because it's something new to him and it'd be unfair of me to expect him to understand or process it immediately. It takes a lot of talking and explaining and sometimes it is very difficult. However, if he is actually doubting you, continuing to doubt you and uses it as a stick to beat you with and make you feel guilty, it might be time to start thinking about, at the very least, having an extremely serious conversation about the future of your relationship. That sort of behaviour is absolutely not on at any point. Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Some people don't have an easy time understanding asexuality because it seems so alien to them. You need to make it *very* clear - and understand that when he does really understand you, he may not want to stay in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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