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Thanking me as she's dying


jimw

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I'm 78 years old and have a friend from college --- we graduated in '63.  We've been communicating on skype for years as she has had Parkinson's for decades.  We live on opposite sides of the planet----she's in the U.S. and I'm in Thailand.  We always had intimate discussions and we both identify as empaths (I'm gay as well) so it seemed really natural to chat daily.  More than year ago she was placed in a facility with hospice care as they expected that she would die but she hasn't.  Anyway, when we first started she revealed to me that the doctors at Johns Hopkins who are researching Parkinson's asked when her last orgasm was and her response was 'Never' so in our discussions she often mentioned that she is asexual.  A few days ago I discovered the youtube with David Jay and it impressed me so much that I shared it with her.  Yesterday, she thanked me for helping her know herself better before she dies.  I'm so touched that by chance I've helped a friend, but have come to realize that few are even interested in the asexual issue and it makes me sad.  I guess I'm writing because I need to process my experience.  Thanks for reading!

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Sounds like a good friendship.

:cake: 

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Possibly what I feel the strongest is how strongly asexuals are dismissed and even hidden.  The gay world has come a long way in getting a voice and now it's time for you.

 

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That's why this site is about Visibility and Education. :D 

It's getting better and I believe will continue to. :) 

Few if any people in my generation knew/know about it. More and more people in younger generations are growing up knowing about it.

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I am appalled at the reaction I've had from some well-meaning, open-minded people when I even mention the word 'asexual'.  It's like they have no interest in 'going there' and learning more.

 

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Sometimes people need someone really close to them that they really love and care about before they will open their eyes. 

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AceMissBehaving

What a beautiful friendship, I am so glad you were able to do that for your friend.

 

On 6/16/2019 at 4:59 AM, jimw said:

Possibly what I feel the strongest is how strongly asexuals are dismissed and even hidden.  The gay world has come a long way in getting a voice and now it's time for you.

 

Thanks for this too, I think it’s a hard thing for people to understand, but it means a lot when someone cares.

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The latest from my friend who is dying is that she has said that I have contributed more to her life than anyone.  How truly amazing that my contribution has been with talks and emails.  Initially I helped her connect with Elaine Aron who talked about HSP (highly sensitive people) and the with Judith Orloff who has written several books about empaths and has also talked about psychic abilities which some people have.  The final connection I've already mentioned which was David Jay.  I have never lived with this friend and have rarely even been within hands reach but she honors me so.  What does this say about our inability to really connect with others and the model of our cultures is often with very superficial interactions.  How bizarre is that?

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