I hate being touched

[Soledad]

I didn't know where to write this because it has nothing to do with asexuality, so I put it here. 

I hate being touched by others, even parents and family. No hugs, no kissing on the cheeks. The only exception is a close friend or a partner I trust and I can be open with. It sometimes disappoints my family because they might even feel not loved by me. Is there anybody else who feels this way? 

[Guest]

I am the same way. I hand shake which is as much touch as I give out. I don't like being touched it feels as if I am being attacked

[Guest]

The story of my life o_O

 

I have had to learn to communicate it to others, to avoid them feeling rejected by it but in some cultures would be seen as insulting. 

 

My mother was highly affectionate with us as kids, so I accepted it but it made me uncomfortable but she was one of the few I would allow kissed and hugs from with no protest as it was her way of showing me affection.

 

My sisters kids are very kiss and cuddle friendly, and I had to accept at least hugs from them but had to explain to them I didn't kiss or cuddle as I didnt like being touched.

 

I knew I had to do this, after her son sat on my lap and cuddled with me and my first thought was: "OMG dude. Get the f**k off me!"

 

But had to use a more kid friendly way of delivering my message.

 

They saw I met them halfway, but also told them how I show them I loved them. They understood but I find with some you just have to be careful on how you deliver the message.

 

With my nieces and nephews I sort of taught them boundaries and that you can't just force your ways onto others. 

 

The 5 Love Languages is a book I should get a cut from at this point, from mentions. 

 

But its allowed me to better verbalize my love languages, or how I show affection and what I am comfortable with in a way others would understand.

[Galactic Turtle]

I am the same way but with no exceptions. XD 

 

I try to just be comfortable with how I am. I don't like drawing attention to it if I can help it.

[den230n_]

Hi.

I can relate. I hate being touch, 'cause if you'd touch me, you'll destroy my freedom. So I can't understand why people are always trying to touch me. I hope, that people will change (OMG, I'm an Utopian, who pretends to be an optimist)

[Rockblossom]

43 minutes ago, Galactic Turtle said:

I am the same way but with no exceptions.

Me too.  My older siblings tell people that by the time I was 12 months old, my favorite word was "NO!" - which I used every time someone tried to grab me, dress me, or hug me.  I'm just not a "touchy" person.  🤷‍♀️

[Lord Jade Cross]

.

[Muledeer]

I don't mind being touched if it's for therapy or for medical reasons.  If I had a partner who could rub my back or neck when it gets sore, I would take that kind of touch.

Kisses and hugs, not so much.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I hate touching or being touched by humans, it's so unnatural. I'm not even sure I love my family really, certainly not enough to overcome my touch aversion on a regular basis, and I fucking hate having to pretend.

[Taival]

You're not the only one, not at all. There are sooo many of us. I do hug my best friends whom I've known for ages, and even then it took me several years to do that. I don't really get it, why people do that, it makes me feel nothing at all, but it makes them happy so why not. Other than them? Nope. Just stay outside my personal bubble. Most people do respect that, and those who don't, I rarely like anyway. I can do handshakes; I dislike it, but it's not too bad. That's pretty much the extent of it. If someone touches me besides that, I do slap their hands away. Sometimes at work someone does slight touches just to inform that they are right behind me or something, just so that we don't collide, and while I would prefer them to say it out loud rather than touch, sometimes that's not possible. The usefulness of that gesture outweight my discomfort, as I also don't want to hurt them with hot pots and pans and the like. I can live with it. I was trying to think of places I'm more alright with touch, but there really are none.

 

I was an au pair for half a year in Spain - it was hell. Kisses everywhere. I did try to be polite and do the cheek kissing anyway, for months. Back then I was less confident in just saying what I wanted or didn't, instead playing along most of the time. At one point my host family realized and started to introduced me to their family or friends et cetera they just started to say that hi, this is our au pair, she's not comfortable with this, it's not done in her home country. No one complained or seemed to mind.

 

I haven't really had bad experiences. Most people are fine fith it, when I tell them I'd prefer not to be touched or they see my discomfort. Those who don't undertand I dislike anyway automatically, and want no further business with them. All of my bad experiences would've probably made anyone uncomfortable, even if they had no problem with touching. I think I'm really lucky to live where I do, I'm not sure I could survive in a more tactile society.

[Guest]

For me, not even close relatives cut it. It's only significant others, once trust is established. 

[Member131995]

I've always worried about this myself. I absolutely hate being touched too. I tolerate it for my mother, she's the only one in my nuclear family who has to touch me at least twice whenever she sees me. I don't want to hurt her feelings but I hate it. My brother shares the aversion as well but he's not able to hide it and physically recoils sometimes. I know he tries not to but I understand how he feels.

 

For me this extends to a significant other unfortunately. I don't know if it does for bro, it doesn't seem to, he has no problem having his hands all over his girlfriend or vice versa even in public. Maybe it's more for him a, I don't want my mom touching me I'm a grown ass man, which I totally get. 

 

I'd tolerate it for a significant other but chances are I won't ever like it. I just don't like being touched in general, by other humans. I have had massages and I absolutely hate them. I have had physical therapy before on several occasions, hated it. I don't like doctor's appointments where they have to do their quick assessment like testing the strength of your arms and touching your stomach and whatnot. Ugh, please no. I don't like any form of voluntary contact with people. I say voluntary because I've been a caregiver for some time, and now a support worker, I have to touch my clients, I don't have a choice. For me, this is different. Bit I hate when someone touches me voluntarily, especially without warning or permission. However, even for a significant other and even people who don't know me well, I'm not so obvious about it because I don't want to hurt people's feelings but inwardly I'm recoiling and running off to scrub myself and take three showers...(okay, maybe I'm also an obsessive germaphobe too, don't ask how I'm a caregiver, I just wash my hands a billion times during my shift and wear gloves a lot and scrub down with sanitizer frequently).

[Tree snake]

I'm an official board member of the Don't-Touch-Me Club.

If someone tires to hug me I go stiff as a stick and just kinda zone out until it’s over. I can’t even stand hand shakes.
It doesn’t feel good to touch or be touched by humans (animals are a completely different story, love that).

Touch I actually think hurts a bit and it’s gross; human skin has a gross texture.

[Goonie]

I have to really really really like you to allow touching and to be okay with it.

 

There's very few people in this category. Normally I tense up. I really dislike touching at work because I really have to monitor my reactions. I can do high fives if I'm in the right mood. Handshakes sort of. I have to talk myself up to give hugs when needed 

[Soledad]

Wow! Thanks to all of you for sharing you experience and feelings with me. It feels so comforting to know that I'm not the only one. There have always been people in my life who did not respect my issue with touching. They just could not understand. Sometimes people even made jokes about the subject.

I feel very grateful for being here. THANK YOU!

[Rkod75]

I don't really like to be touched either, especially when I'm not ready for it, The most recent example I can think of is when I was at a restaurant with family, and when my brother and his girlfriend had arrived, his girlfriend came up behind me while I was sitting and hugged me.  She then looked at me and asked what was wrong, because she could sense I was very uncomfortable, and I just said "nothing" and then I asked how she was doing. The thing is I also don't want people to think it's something I have against them.. which also makes the situation that much more uncomfortable. I get uncomfortable, and then I worry about hurting their feelings because I got uncomfortable 

[Homer]

6 hours ago, Rkod75 said:

I don't really like to be touched either, especially when I'm not ready for it, The most recent example I can think of is when I was at a restaurant with family, and when my brother and his girlfriend had arrived, his girlfriend came up behind me while I was sitting and hugged me.  She then looked at me and asked what was wrong, because she could sense I was very uncomfortable, and I just said "nothing" and then I asked how she was doing. The thing is I also don't want people to think it's something I have against them.. which also makes the situation that much more uncomfortable. I get uncomfortable, and then I worry about hurting their feelings because I got uncomfortable  

I think it's more beneficial to be honest at that point and just say that you generally don't like being touched. This would have been a good chance actually, since she even picked up on your feelings and asked about it. Sounds like someone who would have been open to input right there and then.

[Rkod75]

53 minutes ago, Homer said:

I think it's more beneficial to be honest at that point and just say that you generally don't like being touched. This would have been a good chance actually, since she even picked up on your feelings and asked about it. Sounds like someone who would have been open to input right there and then.

That would be the rational thing to do, but I'm not rational in those moments, I become more concerned over things I shouldn't be concerned about 

[Soledad]

6 hours ago, Rkod75 said:

That would be the rational thing to do, but I'm not rational in those moments, I become more concerned over things I shouldn't be concerned about 

I can understand you. Sometimes when people touch me, I just need to get mental space and close myself from them by talking about other things. Only later I understand that I had to explain my feelings so they don't get hurt.

[An_Ace_Of_Hearts]

Woah. I feel exactly the same way ;; I've always had a problem with being touched. It just gives me goosebumps and I don't like it. I feel bad about it because it may seem like I'm being rude to people ;-;

[ColeHW34]

I really hate being touched by anything. Namely because it can irritate my skin and how sensitive I am to pressure changes. 

[Carmine88]

My family aren't really a huggy family so I'm not that used to it. Sometimes I hug people sometimes I can't stand to be touched. Mostly because I have dry skin and it feels uncomfortable a lot. I usually wear clothes that cover me a lot and that are soft that helps.

[Maiflower]

All my senses are very strong, so I can't stand being touched.

[leo p]

for me i can do highfives and fist bumps but anything else is NO 

 

[Karst]

I find it deeply unpleasant when people I don't know very well want to hug me.  I don't even like shaking hands with strangers.

It's not that I'm wholly averse to touch, just that I have to trust you for it not to feel intrusive and creepy.

Some of it is probably cultural.  Where I'm from, people usually give you a decent-sized personal-space bubble, and aren't terribly demonstrative (at least not in public).  It was years before I realized that some people actually do greet each other with kisses on the cheek.