KoiFishShoes Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 As far as I know, they do. My mother is all-the-letters phobic, and while my dad is likely the same, he keeps his opinions on that to himself around me because he knows I don't share them. I don't hide that I am ace at all on Twitter, and I've liked the AVEN page on Facebook, so they could figure it out if they went looking for it, but I don't think they will. I am still slightly financially dependent on them, just enough to be counting dollars instead of pennies, and I don't intend to come out to them directly until I'm not. Added in Nov: I recall my mother asking once during high school whether I liked boys or girls. She didn't specify it in a sexual way, but I think that was the way it was meant. I form friendships with men much more easily than I do women and have yet to be attracted to anyone who identifies exclusively as female. Additionally, a few years ago she was trying to figure out what I look for in a partner (assuming a man). I don't recall what I replied, but it led her to the realization, "you're looking for a companion." Closest to ace she's come or probably going to relate. Link to post Share on other sites
griffinej5 Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 I have no idea. I’ve never said anything to them, and they’ve never asked. Discussing with my parents who I am or am not having sex with seems odd to me. I don’t want to know what they’re doing, so I assume they don’t want to know what I’m doing (or not). Link to post Share on other sites
secrethamster Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 No idea what my dad thinks, but I have a feeling my mom still believes I'm a closeted lesbian. Link to post Share on other sites
Algebrator Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 I'm aromantic asexual. I've come out to my parents twice and their immediate reaction each time was "that might change," and the second time my mother asked me if I said that because I wanted to be queer. So I'm fairly certain that deep down they're just waiting for me to come home with a romantic partner. Link to post Share on other sites
unkemptjellyfish Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 I'm pretty sure that my parents know that I'm not straight, just because of how I act around them. I haven't talked with either of them about my sexuality though. I haven't actually come out to anyone in my family as ace, and even if I did I don't think they would really understand it. I think my mom would be supportive, but I don't know how my dad or siblings would react. I don't plan to come out to them until I have officially moved out of the house and have my own place to live so I don't have to deal with it if they don't accept me. Link to post Share on other sites
certified_space_ace Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 I'm not close to my parents, but when I was living at home, my mother preferred to think I was secretly seeing people without telling her rather than take me at my word when I said I wasn't interested. What bothers me more is everyone else I meet assuming I'm straight. I know parents develop blind spots with regard to their own kids, but I could tell coworkers every day for years that I don't like men and they still think I'm straight. I'm out to my sister, but she often seems to forget, almost like she secretly thinks it's a phase. Link to post Share on other sites
Trebledteen897 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 For me, I think they know. I told them I am asexual. But they still ask me if "anything's changed" or if I was ever interested in dating my best guy friend. SO idk. I guess they kinda think I'm sex-adverse and immature. I don't want to assume anything, but I sometimes get that impression by the way they talk to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Fydron Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 My father is 74 and my mother is 67 both of them are from the generation that don't/won't even try to understand that there is more than one way to live your life. Also got 2 brothers but all of my family and relatives are just too "old fashioned". I am just lucky that all of them have gotten bored of asking when i get married and when i get kids. Link to post Share on other sites
nerdography Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 My parents think I’m straight, and I’m going to continue letting them think that. Though, I just turned 35 a couple weeks ago and my mother seems to be getting uncomfortable with the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship and is making up stories to tell the family when she speaks to them. Link to post Share on other sites
bookwormgirl Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 My mother once brought up the possibility herself that I was asexual when I was a teenager, years before I was even remotely ready to hear or accept it. I denied it then and never confirmed it when I did put it together on my own, but I've noticed she's stopped asking about boys in recent years. My father? The guy who thinks sexuality is a choice but also that it's their life to live and not his? My best guess is that since I haven't directly confirmed I'm asexual, he can go on assuming that I'm 'straight'. I've decided to tell them next time I see them though, so whatever they are assuming isn't going to last for much longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Madao Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 My parents think I am straighter than a line because I talk dirty, and do a compliment people who I think are aesthetically beautiful. I did try to come out to my mother months ago, but she thinks asexuality doesn't exist and is just a phase. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueSpruce Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 I've never had a very good relationship with either of my parents, and I haven't had contact with them for a couple of years, so they don't know. I did try to tell my mom I got crushes on girls as well as boys at one point, but she just couldn't seem to accept that. My parents are religious and pretty homophobic, and I don't think they could handle believing that they had a kid who was anything but straight. On the plus side, though, they never asked awkward questions about my lack of boyfriends and such, and never pressured me for grandchildren, so it could certainly have been worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Alawyn-Aebt Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Who knows. As I am transferring to a college with a list of required and recommended vaccines I had to get a few new ones and a few updated ones. When talking about the ones I needed with my mom the section of recommended vaccines for sexually transmitted diseases came up as a discussion topic. She said it might be good to look into the vaccines to which I said I really do not understand why people really want sex, thus I do not understand why I would ever feel interested to have it, thus it would be doubtful I would get a sexually transmitted disease if I never participate in sex. She said that there are some people like that and that I could ask the doctor if I was worried about it. I said I do not care and that was the end of the conversation. Whether or not the info was passed on to my dad I do not know. Link to post Share on other sites
N8ty L3asT Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 No I haven’t talked to my biological family since I was 16 and I don’t have anyone close enough to tell now. Link to post Share on other sites
ben8884 Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 In this regard I am lucky as my parents are not at all LGBTQ phobic. Because of this I didn't feel too weird about coming out. My Mother has asked me some questions about it whilst my Dad basically hasn't said anything which is typical of him-thats not a criticism its just he is the sort when he has nothing to say chooses to not say anything kinda guy Link to post Share on other sites
R2_3P0 Posted June 22, 2019 Share Posted June 22, 2019 I've told my mom I was ace and she was very supportive. But I haven't and probably won't ever tell my dad. I have a sister who's bisexual and he knows and was at least accepting of it, but I know he wouldn't understand if I said I was asexual. But I've never been that close with him anyway. So it doesn't matter too much to me except that I can't really come out to people because of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Comrade F&F Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Sort of? I'm out to my family, but I think it's more of a language difference. "Straight" would mean "You're not dating the same sex." Which is true. So technically I would be straight, even if I don't date the opposite sex either. Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 My father passed away about five years after I identified as asexual. I've never felt the need to tell them that I'm asexual as they've never questioned my personal life. I've had female 'friends' over the years, so as far as they were concerned I was straight. On the other hand my mother isn't the most LGBT+ positive person so I don't think it would go over too well. With my brother, I don't know how he'd react. I know he was quite upset after my mother told him (and later me) that my sister in law had told my mother that I was gay. That's quite obvious since I've never had a 'girlfriend' (sarcasm off). Another example of the sister in law's stupidity and lack of a filter is several years ago, I wasn't home and was spending the day/evening/weekend with a female friend. She asked my mother where I was and she replied that I was off to see 'Tara'. "Oh nothing is going to come of that!" was my sister in law's snide remark. If I was to come out to my family as aro ace, it would just cause a lot of drama in a family that has had to deal with too much drama (mostly caused by aforementioned sister in law) than necessary. I'm happy with how my life has gone since I found out about asexuality (2005) and as a couple of female friends (including Tara) have said, "As long as I'm happy, that's all that matters". Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 On 6/18/2019 at 9:28 AM, nerdography said: My parents think I’m straight, and I’m going to continue letting them think that. Though, I just turned 35 a couple weeks ago and my mother seems to be getting uncomfortable with the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship and is making up stories to tell the family when she speaks to them. I'm pretty sure that has never happened concerning me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary2000 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I told my mom I was ace when I was 15, she still asks me if I have a boyfriend or if I have a boy I like. My step dad asked me if I was a lesbian or bisexual, he freaked out when I jokingly told him that maybe I was. To smooth things over I had to tell them I had something with a boy but it never came to anything. (it was not exactly a lie, since I did like him a little bit and I could tell he was kind of interested too, but he went back with his ex and I just couldn't find the energy to try and make a little crush work). Link to post Share on other sites
Nuit_38 Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 I don't think so. My mom probably also thinks I'm trans (just because I like men's shirts). She doesn't even expect me to get a boyfriend anymore Link to post Share on other sites
firebird8 Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 My legal-and-blood family? Who knows. We tiptoe around minefields when we talk at all. My real family, the people who actually care, will take me to the hospital and sit with me all night even though they have to get up for work the next morning, who have my Wi-Fi password and my spare key and know what kind of snacks I want for a movie? They know I'm not straight but I don't know how surprised they'd be if I made an announcement about being ace. They aren't pushing me to date or get married or have kids, because they're my chosen family and we don't do that in my family. Link to post Share on other sites
nerdography Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 On 6/23/2019 at 12:11 AM, will123 said: I'm pretty sure that has never happened concerning me. My mom’s a narcissist, so she thinks my not dating reflects badly on her. Link to post Share on other sites
Sophie01 Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 As for my parents, my mother was the first person I told about my asexuality and she was really fine with it and was even happy about it in some way (she had some bad experiences with romance in general, so might be glad I don't have to experience the same). My dad on the other hand is one of those who doesn't believe in asexuality and claims it doesn't exist. As for my other remaining relatives, I don't see them that often nowadays and I never even mentioned it, so I guess they assume that I'm straight because I haven't told them otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
seagulls Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 I literally came out to my mom and she said she believed me but I honestly believe she thinks I'm straight. She also continually tells me I am going to have children which, I'm not soooo. My family just thinks I'm straight so I'll probably just surprise them later like my cousin did. Link to post Share on other sites
KeKatCookie Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 On 6/24/2019 at 7:47 PM, Nuit_38 said: . Link to post Share on other sites
KeKatCookie Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 On 6/26/2019 at 9:01 PM, seagulls said: . Link to post Share on other sites
secrethamster Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 3 hours ago, KeKatCookie said: Pretty sure liking men's shirts doesn't mean that? I mean, if you are then that's cool. But I wear men's t-shirts & still identify as (cis) female. Most my wardrobe is unisex and men's stuff lol Yeah same here. I prefer the fit of unisex shirts. Link to post Share on other sites
Nuit_38 Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 16 hours ago, KeKatCookie said: Pretty sure liking men's shirts doesn't mean that? I mean, if you are then that's cool. But I wear men's t-shirts & still identify as (cis) female. Most my wardrobe is unisex and men's stuff lol Of course it doesn't mean that. I'm also cis female, they're just very conservative, so they think I'm in the closet Link to post Share on other sites
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