Do your parents still assume you're straight?

[Anony-moose]

I'm aroace. So funny enough, my mum still thinks I'm straight despite:

1- We've had a few conversations about me dating and I always said I was not interested in it and don't see the point, as well as whenever she asks if I fancy anyone the answer is always no.

2-I'm going to 2 pride events this month and have been to an LGBT organisation's anniversary event. I tell my mum where I'm going and such and always mention I'm gonna meet up with my stepsibling (who is also queer and is part of an LGBT organisation so they work on this stuff, and is the only stepsibling I keep in touch with/am closest to) to avoid her freaking out (idk why she would but she'd have a mild meltdown. Not in a negative way she does respect the LGBT but is a bit funny about it).

3- Literally have an Ace pride flag badge on my backpack.

 

It's pretty amusing that she hasn't even challenged the idea that I might be gay or bi, which wouldn't be correct, but I also don't think she's aware of aro and ace identities.

 

How are your guys' experiences with parents' reactions to your love lives (or lack of thereof)?

[Philip027]

Tbh, I still have always thought of myself as "straight" anyway.  I never felt that lacking any particular desire to do that one particular Thing should be the sole deciding factor on whether or not I'm straight.  It just means I'm not heterosexual.  Some people use these as synonyms, but I don't... much like how many homoromantics here may still say they're gay (and the female ones in particular may still say they're lesbian).

 

I don't really know for sure what my mom thought.  She's recognized that I never really had much drive to pursue relationships (to the point where if we were talking with someone else and they would ask about my relationship/family status, she would chime in for me saying "oh, he's not interested in that sort of thing"), but I think she also assumed I would find the "right person" someday.  Technically, she wasn't wrong, because I did end up getting married.  I don't think the whole sex thing itself really factored into any of these thoughts of hers though.

[Galactic Turtle]

Aro ace here. I came out to my parents around... three years ago? I was 22. They just think I have a mental issue.

[Layria]

My parents still think I'm straight, which is very funny to me, considering that I have a rainbow flag flying in my room, and carry around a water bottle with the logo for my college's queer student organization on it. 🤔

 

[Strifed]

Both of my parents are very religious and think, "God will show a man to me", so I am assuming they think I'm straight despite me never dating. I wouldn't ever dare tell them I'm aro/ace (hella would never say anything about ficto- lol), because I just can't see them understanding since they think, "God brings a man and a woman together." and anything other than that is "wrong" to them.

[matt_lock]

Probably? I'm not out to my parents, who I live with . They are aware that I dislike sex scenes in tv (e.g. Black Mirror), and they know I barely ever interact with people in meatspace outside work (and previously school), so they should know I've not dated, nor have I showed interest in dating. 'Course, neither of my siblings have brought dates home to the best of my knowledge, and odds are at least one is not ace/aro, so can't really draw a conclusion from that.

 

Of course, they might ascribe that to my autism (although I've no idea if I'd be ace/aro if it weren't for autism tbh), and not realise that's due to an orientation.

 

[blunose2772]

Pretty sure they do. Honestly I never talked about my sex life (or lack thereof) with my parents 

[ColeHW34]

I make sure everyone thinks I’m just an ordinary cishet christian guy. Especially my parents because if I did come out, they’d take away my Greenhouse, my phone, my tablet, and ground me for a year for “betraying” their ridiculous belief system.

[- Saph -]

My mum is literally deaf and blind to it. It is hilarious. I have told her numerous times - how different I was. She does not want to aknowledge it and it does not feel right. My father may have understood but he keeps her in her clouds.

I gave up a few years ago because she respects my personal life most of the times.

[Salmiakki]

I think my mom still thinks that I'm a lesbian LMAO 

[Guest]

Yes. When I told her I might be asexual she said I'm for sure not asexual. The same when I told my mom I like some girl, but not only as a friend (yes, this girl doesn't know about it) "LGBT propaganda makes you to think like that!" 

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Mine both know I'm ace, either directly or indirectly. They do not, however, know I'm mecha, and I intend to keep it that way.

[Captain_Tass]

My mom knows that I'm pan with a preference for girls, but she doesn't know that I'm graysexual, grayromantic or agender. My dad still assumes I'm straight.

[Raire]

I haven't come out to anyone in my family - however, I think my mother wants to believe that I'm straight, albeit broken in a way that she'll never get grandkids! 

I'll explain things this year (he says every year), but I'm sure she'll then blame the Internet or my social isolation or something. 

[Birlow17]

My mom actually asked me if I was lesbian couple months ago. I calmly said no and I understood her claims (I dress from the men and women’s section cause I don’t care). Not a reason to insinuate someones sexuality in my opinion but because of stereotypes, I can’t be mad about it if that’s what people assume. I think she somewhere still believes I like girls but I don’t know she seemed to accept my no.  Just a couple days ago we were talking about a character in a show she’s watching and she said “I feel like you’re gonna marry these type of men when you’re older.” And I laughed because the character she was talking about both made us laugh. But I felt uncomfortable for a moment as I know the truth as I will never be marrying anyone. I’ve already told her I don’t plan on having kids either and maybe I will adopt but only if I mature as an adult (more stable mindset, and really confident who I am or will be, cause I don’t really know who I am yet). And I also mentioned before how I’ve never had a crush on anyone and don’t have any desire to date but it seems that flew over her head. It feels so exhausting it’s like “coming out” and I know she doesn’t know about asexuals or aromantics (I’m aro ace). 

[letusdeleteouraccounts]

17 and make a point many times that I’m ace and aro so my parents know for sure I’m not straight. I just don’t think that my dad sees me as queer though because I haven’t felt comfortable enough to tell him that I go to pride events

[Alejandrogynous]

I'm pretty sure my mom just sees me as independent and doesn't question my sexuality either way. I don't talk to my dad often but if he has any thoughts about it, he's never given any sign. My family isn't really the type to pressure us about marriage or kids anyway.

 

When my grandmother was alive, though, she would tell me it's good to never settle if I'm happy being single but also stressed that she'd love me no matter what, and I know she asked my sister at least once if I were gay. I'm pretty sure she thought I didn't trust the family enough to come out and I still feel bad that I made her feel that way. 

[Laplace]

Dad definitely assumes I am and wants me to be straight. Mom I’ve told but she still generally wants me to pair up with someone. Only my bro really understands what I’m talking about.

[Morgan123]

My parents still think I’m straight. Thank god, or I would be in trouble...

[Nylocke]

the last time my parents assumed me anything other then straight was met with a great deal of chastising and shame ...

[Jinkx]

I would assume so. I think LGBTQ+ matters are such a far-off concept for my family, like something you see in TV shows but not real life, that I'm not sure me mum would even think to ponder whether her child's anything but straight. Hopefully that's just me not giving her enough credit and she has thought about the possibility and simply has not brought it up to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[MercyIsVictory]

My parents know I'm asexual, and they're fine with it, after I had to explain everything ad nauseum to them. However, I haven't told them about my romantic orientation, and I doubt I'll ever be able to. They hold rather traditional views of gender and sexuality, so even if I promised up and down to them that a potential boyfriend and I were not doing the sex, there'd always be that fear and that doubt in their minds. I've hinted at it as much as I can, though, without stating it outright. 

[Snao Cone]

They know not to set me up with any men, and that's what's most important!

[Skycaptain]

My parents had decided I'm asexual before I'd heard of the term, just they never told me 

[ben8884]

I don't think my parents have thought I was straight for many a year. I have come out to both of them and actually when I did my Aunt sent me a message along the lines of "yeah, can't say I am totally surprised" so I doubt my parents were either.  

[SamBee]

Despite (numerous times) telling my parents that I'm not intetested in anyone and (repeatedly) saying that I have no interest in dating, my parents still make jokes about how I'll find a guy and give them grandchildren.

 

I'm not exactly subtle about my disinterest in romance and sex. They're just. . . incredibly oblivious. Also, they sort of expect me to be into men. The jokes they make, while not malicious, are incredibly annoying.

[Liana]

My mom seems to since she was asking if I plan to date girls next year in high school.

 

No clue with my dad.

[Firefly8]

They probably think I'm a lesbian and are too afraid to ask me. After they had a meltdown and kicked me out for coming out to them as atheist, I don't want to tell them any more about my personal identities. I also don't want to hurt my mom any more. It was all too painful. I'll live my life and they can assume what they will. I can barely figure myself out, so I'm not counting on them to.

[Guest]

My dad definitely does, my mum knew from my early teens that I wasn't attracted to people in the same way as most people are.

[Zagadka]

I really don't know. I know that they have no idea what asexuality is. But I haven't been in a relationship in 20 years. I'm sure they assume something. They are pretty liberal minded and we have good relationships, so I'm sure they would be fine with it, but I don't know if it is worth it.