do you understand the concept of sex and sexual attraction?

[naakka]

On 6/5/2019 at 6:27 PM, catra said:

so, do you understand the concepts of sex and sexual attraction? meaning, do you understand, objectively, how someone could be “hot” and that sex is generally seen as a necessary need in society? did you understand that people actually felt sexual attraction, before realizing you were ace?

I understand the concept on principle. I understand how certain things can make one sexually attracted. For me it seems that practically anything that could indicate there's good conditions for reproduction i.e. sex (such as visual stimulus, being able to get emotionally close to the person, signs of social acceptance ect), can make person sexually interested - whether or not they're aware of these indications. 

 

That's how it's for me on the principle. In the practice, I feel like no matter how much I analyze sexual attraction, the signs, consequences ect, I'll never be able to get my head around it. When I was a teen I thought everyone just talks about it as they want to appear more mature. As a young adult I thought people just have sex to show their commitment on relationship or as that's just what couples are supposed to do (I didn't get one night stands at all and I had a bunch of theories why they happen lol)... and these days I'm slowly starting to become convinced it's an actual desired thing among majority of adults 🤣

[uhtred]

In some ways sexual desire isn't that unusual. 

 

For food many people have strong preferences for the burned flesh of certain animals along with a variety of plant matter. Some actively enjoy food with plants containing certain defensive poisons that cause modest pain when eaten. 

 

Other people like to strap boars to their feet and slide down steep icy mountains - despite a significant risk of injury.  

 

Some like to listen to certain combinations of sounds - and can even have their emotional state changed by those sounds. 

 

People are just strange. 

[AceyMacey]

[Sally]

On 6/8/2019 at 6:48 AM, Telecaster68 said:

You seem to be projecting on to my words  that I have a whole bunch of generalised contempt for asexuals, which I honestly don't have. I resent being characterised that way.

Tele, maybe when writing a post and before sending it, you should pay attention to how often you say "asexuals xxx" or "AVEN says..."  Only when people complain do you revise that to say "Some sexuals..." or "Many asexuals..." or "some posters on AVEN..."  

 

May of us have commented on that.  We resent being told that we're projecting.  I'm certainly not; I probably had more sex than you did, since I'm quite a bit older, and I'll be damned if I'll be classified as a 15-year-old asexual who has no clue about anything.  I didn't like it, I  didn't feel much during it, but I was able to observe close-up how my sexuals behaved, which was pretty consonant with how they felt.  

 

Please lose the arrogance.  

[Valentine_]

I knew what sex was but it never registered that it was an enjoyable thing for people. I thought it was just for reproduction for the longest time. Then in health class one year, they talked about the dangers of porn and how contraceptives only sometimes worked and I was just thinking, "Wait, people have sex even though they don't want kids?" I was puzzled that people enjoyed watching it. I just assumed I would enjoy it once it happened though.

 

I also never understood sexual attraction which made it very difficult to figure out I was ace. I equated aesthetic and sexual attraction and thought "Oh, she's pretty, which means she's hot." I only separated the two when I got intimate with others and realize that I didn't enjoy sex at all and learned that I was actually feeling romantic and aesthetic attraction.

[PoeciMeta]

Nope 😐 I used to think people would only ever do it to have babies. And that everyone found it as disgusting as I do. I thought it was hard to do something that disgusting to someone you love or find cute? 

I still don't get it. 

[DarkStormyKnight]

I like get it on a level where I know that it happens and the physical mechanics of it but like. Still don't get how people feel this way??? And it continually surprises me STILL that people experience something I just have no way of conceptualizing.