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dark humor- is it okay?


catra

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so, i enjoy dark humor. being the horrible person i am, i laugh at dead baby and beastiality jokes (and many other dark themes). i hate the actual subjects of the jokes and know that they are wrong, but i still find the jokes hilarious.

 

does liking dark humor make you a horrible person? or, is it okay to a certain extent- are pedophilia jokes, for example, okay, but not jokes about race?

 

(to be clear, i don’t like any jokes specifically targeting someone or a part of someone. that includes disability, race, gender, sex, sexuality, mental disorder, etc. jokes. i just like ones with dark but generally abstract subjects)

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No, it's not bad, it's just your sense of humor. As long as you aren't making jokes towards people, you know? Because that would be bullying. It's okay to joke about death and disaster and tragedy, so long as the people you joke with like it too. 

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AcornCarvings

depends on the crowd. If it makes other people uncomfortable, then be sensitive and don't use dark humor around them. Some topics you should avoid around certain people out of respect and their wellbeing. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with it though.

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I don't think it's your sense of humour that defines morality, but how you use it, if that makes sense.

Like, if you use dark humour to make other people feel uncomfortable, that's not ok. That's making other people uncomfortable for your own amusement. But if you're using humour to build relationships, and manage your own happiness, that's perfectly fine. It's important to remember different people have different limits. I, for example, can enjoy some dark humour, if I'm in the right mood, but some topics hit close to the bone, so I can't enjoy them.

But it seems you're aware that your humour isn't universal, which is kinda the key. So long as you exercise empathy, you're fine.

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This reminds me of an episode of Grey's Anatomy (a bad show overall, now that I look back, but I enjoyed it at the time). When Alex has a patient who keeps trying to make jokes at his own expense, but because it's dark humor and as doctor's they're not supposed to make fun of patients, Alex and the others all refuse to participate in the jokes. Alex comes to realize they're ways for the patient to accept his situation and feel better about his condition, so Alex begins to participate and the patient's mood improves. 

Not sure the conclusion to that bit of the episode, I think Alex gets in trouble or something, but it made me think about how dark humor, even when it's at someone's expense, can be a good thing. It depends on the audience. 

 

Yes, it can be mean-spirited and taken entirely the wrong way, but I feel it's fine in the right situations with the right people. 

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Skycaptain

I'm all for dark humour, but as others have said there's a time and place. What you can say in a bar with your mates is probably different to what you'd say with your parents at the dinner table 

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Okay let me just tell you a quick story: Once on a school camp, I had a friend who was obsessed with dead baby jokes. Yeah some of them were kind of clever, and she clearly enjoyed them, so we put up with them to humour her. But one day she excitedly told these jokes to our camp leader who went quiet and was absolutely horrified - turns out his wife had recently had a miscarriage. 

It was a terrible moment and the tension in the air was so painful. And she couldn't really take back what she'd said...

So yeah, I wouldn't say liking dark humour makes you a bad person at all - you can appreciate the joke without liking the subject or wanting it to happen - but just be careful who you use this humour around. As in, make sure it's with someone you know well who won't take it personally!!!

 

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Member131995

I have a very dark sense of humor but I never tel the jokes myself, a, because I'm not good at telling jokes and getting them to actually land and b, because sometimes people can't tell if I'm joking because I also have a dry sense of humor to boot and a my normal face is resting poker face. That being said, I always felt my sense of humor was somewhat tied to my morality so I do feel guilty for laughing at dark jokes and I tend to hide that side of me from a lot of people, even people I'm close with. The only person I used to be free with about it was my brother. 

 

I would agree though that there's a time and a place as some posters have already said. There's a certain discretion to be had. I'm good also at laughing at things without actually laughing out loud. You can still enjoy things internally. Sometimes, it's not the place to share or outwardly enjoy but you can still privately laugh or wait until a better time. Or, like me, just not tell them at all, because you never know.

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When you make jokes about horrible things, people tend to assume that you genuinely find those things amusing.  

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Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

 

10 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

What you can say in a bar with your mates is probably different to what you'd say with your parents at the dinner table 

Honestly my dad makes more dark and messed up jokes than I do. xD

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18 hours ago, catra said:

does liking dark humor make you a horrible person?

If the timing is right, no joke in my opinion is off limits regarding subject matter. 

 

I remember Daniel Tosh making a joke about a child that was run over and killed while crossing a road. 

 

He talked about how horrible of an idea it was for that city's council to put speed bumps at that exactly location, giving a sombre reminder to their parents every time they ran over it. 

 

I'm sorry. I died. 

 

I'm a sick puppy. No shame in my game. 

 

I laugh at race humor, whatever. I like dark humor as its a level of humor unafraid of ruffling your feathers. Like in life. Timing is everything. 

 

Polite humor is nice. But everyone needs a little Lisa Lampanelli every now and again. 

 

I still remember an elevator ride a long while ago. Everyone is stuffed in. This lady bulldozes her way in with a large plastic garbage bin on wheels. 

 

Knocks a baby stroller, evoking a loud:"HEY!" from the mother. 

 

The woman's unapologetic reply? "Don't hey me! Your baby's ugly, anyway!" to everyone's collective gasps. 

 

I look down. The baby was ugly as hell. I spent the longest it seemed 30 seconds keeping a straight face. 

 

I don't see how my humor affects my character. I think it's a sad world where people feel above others because how much better their sense of humor is. 

 

"I have a sense of humor, but..." was never said by someone with a sense of humor o_O

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All forms of humor and jokes are fine as long as they stay within humor itself and never cross the line of hurting other people. This discount very sensitive people who honestly shouldn't be watching comedians to begin with due to their sensitivity to whatever it is.

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verymelancholic

Dark humour is unbeatable. Simply the best form of comedy. If it's with the right people, it's amazing.

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A couple of my favorite examples of dark humor in movies: 

 

 

 

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  • 5 weeks later...
abandoned-account

I find a lot of "dark humor" just painfully unfunny. Most of the typical stuff- dead babies, terrorism, sexual abuse, etc. - just feel like a childish attempt at being edgy by saying the most offensive and deadbeat things you can think of. I fail to see the humor in any of it, but I suppose what is and isn't funny is subjective to each person. (I feel pretty much the same about sex jokes. yawn.)

 

Whether or not one finds these jokes funny, I believe respect for others and their sensitivities is important. If you're the kind of person who will bring up and laugh about whatever they want regardless of whatever emotional pain or discomfort it brings to others around you, then you're not one I'd like to spend my time around.

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It's hard to say, tbh. I greatly dislike people who say controversial and offensive stuff, and just claim it's a joke.

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Anonymous Axolotl
On 6/2/2019 at 11:20 PM, Skycaptain said:

I'm all for dark humour, but as others have said there's a time and place. What you can say in a bar with your mates is probably different to what you'd say with your parents at the dinner table 

This is so true. I also think dark humor has to have some level of tact. I love dark humor, but I really only find dark humor acceptable/funny if the person saying it is the butt of the joke. If not, (to me) it often comes off as someone trying to shift blame or put themselves in a position where they're "better" than someone in some way. If not that, it just... doesn't seem funny to me.

 

Also, jokes that involve rape in any way are never funny.

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  • 4 weeks later...
simplybeourselves

Dark humor is okay because if you tire of lighter humor then it may be the only humor you have left.


Dark humor is okay because if you still find light humor funny you may find dark humor even funnier. 

 

Dark humor is okay because it's never humor itself that harms somebody, however "dark" it is, it's the delivery and the reaction to the delivery that causes harm.

I'd say the same about art, music, movies, TV and video games.

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AceMissBehaving

Dark humor is as valid a way to deal with difficult subjects as any other. I enjoy it myself too.

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Personally, I love dark humour as long as it's not mean-spirited. When dark humour works, it's usually because it takes something very difficult to deal with in reality (cancer, suicide, etc.) and turns it something ridiculous. The shock of being able to laugh at it just makes it even funnier, and it can even help people deal with horrible stuff they've had to go through.

 

Mean-spirited dark humour is lazy. It has no sense of absurdity, just expects a laugh for daring to say something offensive/gross/shocking. 

 

 

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Dark humor really depends on the context of the situation going on (making bad jokes with friends vs talking to say someone whose survived trauma for example) as well as the exact joke/nature of the joke. I like dark humor, I'm not afraid to say that. However, I know there's a time and place for it. There's also some things that are just off limits outside of a few very specific circumstances (like I think that we can all agree that with a game like "Cards against humanity", everything and anything goes, however, outside of something like that? There's things you really shouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, espicially if there's still victims of said problems, like Roma or Jewish survivors of the Holocaust or 9/11 since it happened only about 2 decades ago where many families were forever altered). 

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I have a very broad tolerance for dark humor - of course loving the literary classics but also still loving risque internet humor - but I still honor trigger words for other people. It is important to know your own tolerance and levels of jokes and the context you're in. For instance, I'll not post or flag something I would post on AVEN that I'd usually not blink at sharing, and I suppose that comes from filtering my dark humor from my family growing up (and now).

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  • 2 weeks later...
DarkStormyKnight

For me, dark humor is an important way to cope with sad situations, which probably says something about my coping mechanisms BUT gonna ignore that.

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I remember one of my favorite ads. 

 

Condom ad. You see a shrieking child having a meltdown as his dad isn't buying what he wants. 

 

The dad eventually exasperated, looks skyward in despair.

 

Condom brand rolls into the picture. "Could have worn a (insert brand)". 

 

Many were outraged as they felt they cast children as an inconvenience. It also was condemned by more groups than it should have, forcing the company to pull the ad. 

 

Personally, I still don't see how that was offensive which is why I think dark humor has a space in society. 

 

 If you're too sensitive to take a joke like that, I don't think the issue is the joke. 

 

Many were also offended by the children's book: "Will you Shut the F*** Up?"

 

Basically going through scenarios where parents just want their kids to shut up. Like bed time. 

 

If you're that uptight that you can't laugh at the notion of wanting your kid to shut the f*** up after the 3rd time they knock on your bedroom door with an "emergency". At 3AM....

 

Sorry. The humor again isn't the issue here. 

 

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If you died on the street, there would be people out there, that would laugh at you. Its always been that way, but the net has magnified it enormously.

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You have to be aware of the situation before using dark humour though. The comedian Dara O'Brien, in his autobiography recalled a rather salutary experience. In one half of the show he was regularly poking fun at a member of the audience for their reactions to his jokes. During the interval someone explained to him that the person had some form of mental impairment, so during the second half he stopped taking the rise out of them. After the show several audience members asked why he stopped taking the rise, as they were finding it funny. 

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