How Do You Feel About Being Called "Good-Looking"?

[daveb]

1 minute ago, Homer said:

I don't know what that means. Is it good or bad?

Do you mean is it good or bad that you don't know what it means? That's up to you.

 

 

dap·per

/ˈdapər/

Learn to pronounce

adjective

 

1. (typically of a man) neat and trim in dress, appearance, or bearing.

[Homer]

 

14 minutes ago, daveb said:

Do you mean is it good or bad that you don't know what it means? That's up to you.

[ColeHW34]

Still makes me uncomfortable.

[DuskFire]

I don't like being called handsome... I can't stand it! Even before I developed gender hatred I still didn't like that word. I prefer to be called cute or my favorite is beautiful because it doesn't have to apply to "societal beauty" it can just mean you look cool.

 

I don't think I would like being called 'good looking' because it infers a standard as well as implying they desire you because of your appearance which is no better than tinder. (No I won't even capitalize that apps name! It's literally the embodiment of individualism and societies carnal craving for something that I dislike).

[Duke Memphis]

It's nice to be complimented on my appearance when it's not in a flirtatious way. I like to be pleasing to the eyes. Also, I'm slightly self-conscious.

[Guest]

It doesn't happen. If it did I would have to evaluate the possibility that I'm being put on.

[Laplace]

I typically don’t get called handsome explicitly except on very rare occasions, but for some reason, people seem to really like my voice which is rather strange. People will randomly say my voice is nice, and it’s a nice feeling but it also feels kinda weird cause it’s a bit of an odd thing to receive compliments for. 

[Catserole]

I don't think it's ever happened! I'm happier drawing less attention anyway, so I can't say I mind.

[Janus the Fox]

I’d like it when being called a good looking girl, gender reasons than anything else.

 

those words don’t really feel of anything in particular, even if it’s usually from the partner.

[sanketp]

On 10/12/2019 at 3:31 AM, Will-o-the-Wisp said:

I don't like being called handsome... I can't stand it! Even before I developed gender hatred I still didn't like that word. I prefer to be called cute or my favorite is beautiful because it doesn't have to apply to "societal beauty" it can just mean you look cool.

 

I don't think I would like being called 'good looking' because it infers a standard as well as implying they desire you because of your appearance which is no better than tinder. (No I won't even capitalize that apps name! It's literally the embodiment of individualism and societies carnal craving for something that I dislike).

I am agreed with this buddy!

[gray-a girl]

I find it flattering. If it's a cat call kind of thing, I think its rude and annoying (and also flattering) but mostly, when someone says it in a normal context I'm flattered by it. It feels good. I see beauty in people as more aesthetic than sexual, but as an artist I can appreciate beauty.

 

I find it sad that so many people here don't feel like they look good, or that anyone would ever say that to them and mean it. I just think thats sad. I think that that is more of a lack of confidence in oneself than anything else. Our society, especially for women, is so incredibly judgemental about how we look. I think a lot of people who really are good looking, internalize this obsession society has with looks and lose confidence in themselves in that way.

 

For example, I think it's ridiculous that women are required to wear makeup and care about fashion. People can be very beautiful without that, but society teaches women that if they don't do these things, they will not look good. This societal pressure isn't healthy and I think it kills a lot of people's self confidence in their looks.

 

[lilyofthevalley]

It is a compliment and such, but when people say it to me I sort of assume it’s because they have nothing better to say. I’d far rather be thought of as clever or interesting.

[fooledbysecrecy]

i chose 'other' cause it's just feels weird to me. depends who's saying it tho. if it's a friend i'm like... ok? some random creep; yikes.

but generally i suppose i don't really like it? feels.. not genuine? idk.

 

if someone compliments my clothes/style however... 👌

[Alawyn-Aebt]

Depends if it seems genuine. Getting comments about being good-looking are rare, but the last time I was compliments on my appearance it was by a random 10 year old girl I had never seen nor seen again who ran up to me and said I was the "definition of cute" before running back. As odd as it felt it was something you could tell was genuine, which made it positive.

 

Usually comments on my appearance, even if they are not necessarily positive, tend to be funny. I have been told everything from " look like red-headed asparagus" to " look like a mad scientist".

[SithLord]

Most people who tell me tend to mean it platonically. I've never been cat-called or harassed for my appearance (except for being told "Aren't you cold?" which is Japanese code for "Put something less revealing on, I can see your collar bones!") so it's no surprise I don't make the jump to feeling they mean it sexually. Only my bf means it that way and I can just roll my eyes at him. He knows I don't enjoy being called "sexy" so that's why. 

 

Really, "sexy" is the word I dislike. "Hot" I can spin positively in my mind even, and "good-looking" feels almost outdated if meant in a sexual way, so I get by just fine. 

[Lunala]

I'm mostly neutral, though it depends on what type of compliment it is.

 

If it's "Your outfit looks good", I am happy.

If it's "cute/pretty/beautiful" then yeah, It's okay I guess.

However I don't like the word "hot" (but nobody's ever called me that thank god. Considering I look like a 12 year old I think that's a good thing.)

[Fraggle Underdark]

I enjoy it quite a bit if it's just someone offering a compliment. If it's a way of flirting then it's uncomfortable just because I'm almost certainly not interested (romantically or sexually) and then I'm thinking about whether I have to turn them down or be really careful not to lead them on.

 

Gender seems to make a big difference here as society has traditionally thought of female people as primarily passive who's main draw is in their appearance (or gentle nature) whereas male people are judged more on their accomplishments and abilities. I'm male so if people say I look good it doesn't have that same connotation of "and that's the primary way I value you" but rather a bonus.

 

For me my visual attraction to others is either that they're romantically attractive or just good-looking in the same way a waterfall or striking architecture is. I guess that's called aesthetic attraction? Even when I think someone is romantically attractive I almost never want to do anything about it, it's still just a "enjoyable to see" kind of thing. So I've always kind of assumed that's what people meant if they said I was good-looking. But now that I realize the compliment can have sexual meaning I actually don't seem to mind. As long as they're not assuming I reciprocate any of that feeling.

[Zagadka]

Someone said that my beard looked nice, and that did feel pretty good. I guess I do enjoy praise.

[Firefly8]

I'd think they're just trying to be nice, lying, or have low standards. I'd have to be convinced that they're sincere. This sounds self-deprecating, but 🤷‍♀️ I've long accepted that I'm not model material. 

[Internetlionboy]

I used to have a hard time believing getting compliments because I was severely bullied on my looks in middle school and in my 9th grade year and it really messed up my self esteem. It took a while to be able to take selfies without feeling grossed out on my own appearance.

 

I'm in a better place now and it makes me happy when others call me good looking and now I can take selfies of myself and feel amazing. Sometimes I feel like crying both because I'm happy that I can now find myself cute, pretty, and good looking (and obviously I don't need someone's approval on my looks but it makes me happy, though) like it wouldn't bother me if someone called me ugly and I can now say thank you that means a lot without being like I don't think that's true ;v;

[Fraggle Underdark]

For a long time if someone complimented me like that I just assumed they were being nice but couldn't really mean it. I used to be very shy and also had a rough childhood which gave me an unusual view on life that weirded people out. Romantic rejection was universal and although I liked myself I figured I was mysteriously repulsive from a romantic perspective, but felt at peace with that. Then over time I put a lot of work into improving conversational skills and hiding my unusual emotional reactions and then people started to compliment and flirt with me. Took me a long time to realize they weren't crazy for doing so. Sometimes I'd even get privately angry at them for being attracted, like "you were so cool, you can do better!" Eventually I noticed that either a whole bunch of people (over the years) are crazy, or I'm mistaken about being romantically repulsive, and it's statistically unlikely for that many people to be crazy.

[cp1213]

I'll just accept the compliment as long it's not implied that they don't see me sexually. 

[Joi ❤]

For the most, part it's nice☺️. I know there are a lot of advantages to "looking good", but honestly the compliments I've valued the most are the ones on my personality, actions. or work. It feels strange and random to be complimented on my outer appearance. It brings attention to something I don't normally think about, seek approval for, or want to outshine my other qualities. (Ex: "yeah my hair looks nice today, but am I doing a great job?")  I just say thank you and smile, maybe a little dialogue on the matter than move on to something else. Furthermore, I should make clear that I think I may be aaesthetic (I don't know how that effects my opinion honestly 🤔).

[RedSheep2]

I don't like compliments pertaining to physical appearance. 

[doggalogga]

I don't think I'm elephant-man ugly, but I certainly don't consider myself anything special

I'd rather people appreciate my personality and my character.

 

I find any comments about my appearance quite uncomfortable. I don't think that's unique to aces, as sexual people I know don't like their appearance being commented on

[Guest]

I think society places too much emphasis on people's outward appearance, but that's not surprising since, from an evolutionary perspective, the best-looking individuals tend to be the ones who will produce the healthiest offspring. Of course it's all about sex

 

From a personal perspective, I find it repulsive to be called good-looking because my mind immediately goes to the evolutionary basis for attractiveness. However, I'm not outwardly offended by these comments, as I try to assume that people make the comments with the best intentions in mind. Even so, I kind of become internally paralyzed when someone tells me I'm good-looking.

 

One time, for instance, I was at the checkout line in the food court of my student union, and the cashier said "Beautiful girl" as a passing remark. Although I'm 95% sure she didn't mean it in a sexual way (after all, I had overheard her telling someone else that she wanted to "cuddle with [her] husband" over the weekend), she managed to invoke my internal brick wall (which comes up whenever I am faced with even a remotely sexual or romantic situation). Even the comment about cuddling with her husband made the wall come up. I try not to pay at her register anymore

[sunflowersundae]

I've had a incredibly low (and still currently at times) self esteem regarding my looks which has culminated to me really changing things up in the recent decade (still can't believe the 2010's are ending). I feel SO much better about my looks and there are times where I can say that I do like compliments, especially if it's from friends and mostly about my manner of dressing.

 

That being said, sometimes I still find compliments from strangers a bit suspicious, even if they seem innocuous 😅

I know for the most part that they're mostly compliments based on how I'm seen aesthetically and what not but I can be on edge at times till haha

 

It's probably part: how I feel about my face and part: fear of being seen sexually.

[kenny.]

i wouldn’t know lol but i usually have a tricky time accepting compliments of any kind, thankfully they are few and far between

[Phantasmal Fingers]

I feel fab and look fab absolutely all of the time! 😃

 

[wiggles fingers on Jazz hands]

 

See?

 

🖐️ 🖐️ 

[Guest]

@kenny. I think you're really cute. But it's better to build up confidence in yourself than look to others for approval anyway.