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Was your asexuality triggered or discovered?


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I know its different for everyone and I like to think sometimes it's more like a calling?? Im not sure about that too heh but as for me I think it was triggered when I tasted cum and it was the saaaaaltiest mf I've ever come across I was in a trance for so long re evaluating my life decisions. Just thinking about it feels like .. uggh. And I thought I dont ever want that thing in my mouth or anywhere near inside me. 

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Dreamsexual

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@CBC That's what I'm thinking inside my head.

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For the OP:

Triggered out of nowhere. I don't think it's triggered that's a good word. More like, sparked out of nowhere. It's probably huge amount of stress over a a few years that killed enough of my neurons, so that's probably what triggered it. It slowly disappeared in a year and never came back in almost a decade. Now to think of it, it's more like waned out of nowhere. That's not to say I wouldn't be open to sex, but for me to have sex, I would have to be very emotionally attracted to a woman after I develop emotional attraction in a year or so (Yes, it takes me this long for me to develop it), and she asks to have sex with me, and it ultimately comes down to making her happy and not really for myself. However now that the implicit subject of oral is brought up, I can't see myself going oral receiving or giving.

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How would "triggering" asexuality work to begin with?

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8 minutes ago, Homer said:

How would "triggering" asexuality work to begin with?

From a theoretical standpoint, anything that involves changes to the brain as sexuality lies within the brain. A good blow to the head can trigger it in theory. Just have to kill neurons responsible for sexuality. There's even posts here where they are afflicted with multiple sclerosis, and for all intents and purpose, they are asexual from that point on. The only thing that really matters is long-term standpoint from this point on.

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2 minutes ago, R_1 said:

A good blow to the head can trigger it in theory

That's trauma, something entirely different.

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Dreamsexual

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Dreamsexual
On ‎6‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 5:59 PM, CBC said:

From what I understand, dietary and lifestyle habits play a significant role in uh, one's taste. Fruits (especially pineapple, citrus... I think papaya...) and certainly spices (cinnamon is one I recall reading about) will make things more tolerable, and stuff like red meat, onions, garlic, and being a smoker will have a negative effect.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Err, I was always ace...

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Janus the Fox

Discovery of next to nothing in terms of any attraction to anyone, the only trigger is the trigger of said discovery.  I'n not a fan of connecting genitals to mouth, even if I was sexual.

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Finding (that word, makes me nauseous just to type it) repulsive is repulsion to a certain substance.  That's NOT asexuality.   I find yogurt repulsive; that's not an orientation.  

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Dreamsexual

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Asexuality can be triggered??? That's an interesting concept

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Dreamsexual
On ‎6‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 6:17 PM, Nylocke said:

Asexuality can be triggered??? That's an interesting concept

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3 hours ago, Dreamsexual said:

I think they either meant 'caused' or 'first became suddenly aware of'.

 

Well in my case, I didn't learn I was asexual until I got into my 20s because while everyone else who was in collage hooking up and the like I just didn't have an general interest in such activities. Granted when you're raised in a religious house hold where sex and anything related to it might as well be an expletive, even despite that whatever time I wanted to spend with a significant other never really went past that point. 

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ok OP first of all TMI 

 

secondly my own experiences fall strongly into the 'discovered' section. i came across the label and adopted it before i really knew what it meant. later i distanced myself from the community and went about my shit with the label barely in the back of my mind, experiencing things and just getting to know myself a bit better. i'm back here 4 years later and now i have actual evidence that seem to prove i'm ace. i can't say this journey is something other than a discovery.

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Definitely a discovery for me (that's asexuality, not the taste of... anything 😨). 

And a relief at that - finding that I wasn't broken. 

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Discovery. I sometimes liked people, but could never get to the sexual attraction part. I never had a bad experience. I preferred no experience. I thought I was weird for most of my life.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm interested in the subject "can asexuality be triggered," because I think it can. This is because sexuality is psychological, if not primarily so, at least still significantly so. Considering this, an intense psychological change could alters someone's sexuality. I'm thinking of the trans people that I've heard report a change in their orientation after transition... suddenly becoming attracted to a sex they weren't attracted to before. Transition is an intense psychological change, perhaps brought on by HRT. As for asexuality, I consider Tim Gunn an asexual. He seems to consider himself one, too. It seems his asexuality was triggered by emotional trauma in a past relationship that was powerful enough to kill his interest in sex, if not also his sexual attraction all together.

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Finding out about it was a trigger, but I was born this way. I am Demisexual, let me explain..... 

 

A few years ago I had a brain hemorrhage and following this I lost my attraction to my wife. 

 

This is quit a long story and if you want to know more about it please see my old post

 

But anyway.... 

 

I had this brain hemorrhage and we could not figure out why I had lost attraction to my wife, and why I simply was not bothered. My wife ended up very poorly with all this and we landed in therapy

 

Cutting a lot out here, like I say, this is a long story, but what happened was we realised that I have never been attracted to anybody but my wife, not before, nor since we have been together, I am 63 years old

 

Our therapist suspected that I might be Demisexual and suggested that I come to AVEN to read the posts here, which I did, and this confirmed a lot. But there was still one piece of the jigsaw..... 

 

During this process we found out that I was born with Aphantasia. I was so shocked about this because I did not know people could see things in their minds. The Aphantasia really affects my ability to become attracted

 

We continued with the Therapy, and things turned out good. You see the problem was two things. One me not having sufficient memories of my wife (brain hemorrhage) and the second, me not easily becoming attracted because of the Aphantasia

 

What we did was set about creating interesting and fun and romantic times together. Luckily my wife did know the things I love and we did over time sort things out

 

We laugh a lot about these things now but when we was actually going through all this it was a nightmare

 

Like I have mentioned, how Aphantasia can contribute to a lack of attraction is hard to explain in just a short post. My old posts go into more detail, and this article explains some of it

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34039054

 

 

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