Touch repulsed?

[nonononono]

i'm usually very touch-averse. i mean, i can really like hugs, but only in the rare moments i start them. i hate sudden physical contact, even if it's from someone close. i'd like it to be normal asking loudly for a hug or something before actually doing that.

[Raindrops]

I've never been a fan. I can handle fully clothed hugs with people I know very well, but being poked or patted by others makes me tense up a bit. Handshakes have always been a little icky to me too 😕 which sucks because I had to do that a lot when going for job interviews haha

[Gamma/kimera]

I just find the random shock that goes down me when touched unexpectedly really difficult to handle.

[Meowmocha]

I saw a post on Reddit that made me think about people's varied reactions if physical affection became more common than it is for most.

 

 

Some people:  Yay! (hugs everyone)
Other people:  I dunno, still seems kind of awkward. This different mentality will take some getting used to.
My friend:  AAAAAAA NOOOOO

Me:  Hey, how'd you manage to climb onto the roof?
Friend:  I WAS MOTIVATED

 

I can actually imagine my friend giving that answer to said hypothetical situation, too. This is the person who said that someone tried to hug them, and they ducked and ran down the hall screaming. And during a conversation about the quarantine, they mentioned that it would be great if handshakes phased out of existence.

[BlakeTheNightowl~]

Yee I’m touch repulsed fuck off ~ 😂🤣( that’s my way of saying love ya ) xD 🤣🤣

[sababajwa]

i'm not sure if my husband is narcissist or actually hates touch, i enjoy touch more than sex. i'm not DYING for touch, i enjoy it though, makes my emotions feel calmed and love is better. he never touches. (i tend to attract Narcissists + asexual) , bad marriage for life LOL...... jk

[Mike D]

I am also at least moderately touch averse.  Handshakes are tolerable.  It's hard to navigate our society without shaking a few hands, so I've made some level of peace with it.  I don't mind if a good friend or a family member wants to hug me, but I neither initiate nor invite it.  Protracted contact, like cuddling, though...that I cannot abide.  (A friend invited me to a "cuddle party" once.  Before I could stop myself I answered, "Exactly which of Dante's circles of Hell is that?"  My friend was not amused but that was the last cuddle party invite I ever got from her.)

I'm absolutely with those of you were are seeing the silver lining to the pandemic:  it has removed almost all casual touch from our society.  I hate COVID, I hate the toll it is taking on society, but as far as I'm concerned hugs and handshakes can stay away forever.  However, I don't think they will.

I expect most of you have known a few serial huggers, people who glomp on short acquaintance.  If you let them do it once they seem to mark you as huggable-at-will.  I've yet to find a non-awkward way to navigate that situation.  Have any of you?

[InkMaster]

The only person I would hug without issue was my mother, I wont touch anyone else more than a handshake because it makes my skin crawl. It still took years for me to get it through my own head that handshakes are professional and not personal.

[lilypad16]

I just realized that I’m not completely touch repulsed, like it’s okay if I know the person well, like my friends/family, but I don’t like being touched in general. Even with my family it makes me uncomfortable sometimes. The only time I hug people it’s usually just women, and only male family members, and I have to initiate or I get really uncomfortable and kind of panic, get all stiff. How did I not notice this in 23 years of living?!?

[Guest]

I don't like sexual touch, French kissing or touching of my breasts and genitals.

[PeskyBee]

Partially touch averse. Can't usually stand fingers on skin sensation, caresses, or sexual touching. Definitely can relate to the body trying to protect itself thing; massages make me squirm or yell out in pain. Head massage is fine though. I can like hugs, kisses and cuddles, depending on the person. Recently been dealing with an acute feeling of loneliness, so I find myself wanting to be held and comforted, let's see if it persists. I'd rather touch than be touched generally speaking.

[JDP]

Having grown to adulthood never being touched by anyone, I can't remember an occasion when I was touched by someone and felt anything.

 

I wouldn't say I am repelled by touch, but I do live better without it. I certainly sleep a lot better alone than with someone.

[Penny19]

I'm so glad I found my ppl. I always felt weird because I hate ppl touching me. I'm in a Hispanic community though so everyone hugs or handshakes pretty soon after meeting you. It's awkward and I don't want to make anyone feel bad so I usually do the side 1 arm quick hug or bring my arms up a little. 

I'm very comfortable hugging my kids and husband but there are times I don't like them touching me either. I can't stand when my husband touches me super soft like he thinks it's sexy, I'm like gross get off. Or when ppl are hot or sweaty I can't touch them at all. 

Can't do massages or pedicures. I'm ok with pets and small children though. I teach in a school and they love to hug, I just do side hugs though. 

[naakka]

I feel like I'm kinda touch repulsed (I'm aroace). I mean, I don't hate touch, like I can stand it, and it does not feel that bad especially if I know beforehand what's coming. But I never wish to be touched by someone and physical contact often feels like invasion of my personal space.

 

Anyhow, I've had a few moments when I've felt insulted by someone's touch, and I've wondered is it just me not liking the touch that much or did they actually try to insult me. I mean, it's more than likely they did not try to insult me, but I'd never do something like that to someone myself, so I was just confused.

 

For example, I wore braids to work, and coworker came to me and touched my braids with her hands and said "nice braids, my daughter likes to wear braids like that too" (her daughter was around my age I think). I felt asthonized, like I'd never touch anyone that manner and it felt really rude (this could have felt uncomfortable to me also to be recognized as "one of the girls" but I just didn't realize it yet since I didn't even recognize my gender issues yet).

 

Another case was when a teacher who I do think really liked me, patted me into head. I know she probably just thought I was cute, but I got really unpleasant feelings from short touch like that.

 

I really really rarely get anyone to touch my face, but the few times I did, I got really irritated and literally wanted to punch the person in the face (of course I didn't do that but just stood there a bit grumpy). In the same situation my sibling was just smily and seemed relaxed in general, which I couldn't understand.

 

Hand-holding for reason other than shaking hands feels just very restrictive like my privacy was taken away. The person's hand also always feels like something: like sweaty or hot or cold etc, never normal. I don't understand why people like to do it.

 

One time I got hugged by someone when I was sad, and of course I know she meant nothing but good, but hugging suddenly like that felt just really uncomfortable and did not make me feel like bonding more with her. It felt contradictory she'd do something I really dislike while trying to comfort me and made me feel confused more than anything.

 

Also, in general, hugging as an extension of social bonding does nothing to me, it feels just unnecessary and too intimate.

On 8/14/2020 at 9:19 AM, Penny19 said:

I'm very comfortable hugging my kids and husband but there are times I don't like them touching me either. I can't stand when my husband touches me super soft like he thinks it's sexy, I'm like gross get off. Or when ppl are hot or sweaty I can't touch them at all. 

 

Can't do massages or pedicures. I'm ok with pets and small children though. I teach in a school and they love to hug, I just do side hugs though.

Oh yeah, soft "sensual" touch is the worst! The only moments I'm comfortable with someone touching me, is massage of my upper body or feet (I also like to massage people), or when it's formal touching. When I can predict it, hand-shaking or hugs are fine. I actually wonder how much more I'd be able to tolerate or even like if people just told beforehand how they're going to touch me. I also work with children, so I've just taught myself to tolerate their spontaneous hugs.

[- Saph -]

17 hours ago, naakka said:

I really really rarely get anyone to touch my face, but the few times I did, I got really irritated and literally wanted to punch the person in the face (of course I didn't do that but just stood there a bit grumpy). In the same situation my sibling was just smily and seemed relaxed in general, which I couldn't understand.

This reminds me how my dad used to pinch my cheek all the time when I was little. I love him yet I hated this so much. It still creeps me out just remembering it...

[naakka]

3 hours ago, Saphoune said:

This reminds me how my dad used to pinch my cheek all the time when I was little. I love him yet I hated this so much. It still creeps me out just remembering it...

Well, I don't know if that was the type of touch any child would like really? 😅Some adults just like to tease kids for some reason. Anyhow, for me stuff like petting cheek was (still is) pretty much unbearable. I don't like touches I was expected to like.

[TheVelociraptorNextDoor]

Usually, yes.  Growing up, my family never really showed much physical affection, and I still find it uncomfortable to this day.  I dislike hugs, am not a fan of handshakes, and not big on most subtle physical contact.  The main exception is that I do love cuddling with pets.

[Techie]

12 hours ago, TheVelociraptorNextDoor said:

Usually, yes.  Growing up, my family never really showed much physical affection, and I still find it uncomfortable to this day.  I dislike hugs, am not a fan of handshakes, and not big on most subtle physical contact.  The main exception is that I do love cuddling with pets.

You basically mirror what I posted earlier in the thread. The one exception was that when my three nieces and two nephews were little, I was very comfortable with them. They would often want to be held and hugged. Once, my youngest nephew, when he was about two, was rather irritable. I picked him up and he clung to me. About two minutes later I heard snoring. My sister came over and was totally surprised as he had fallen asleep in my arms holding on to me. Honestly, I suspect that because in some ways little kids are a lot like pets, I did not feel an aversion. However, as they got older, usually around 9, my instincts would kick in and it started becoming difficult. Now if I try and hug my youngest niece, who I regularly see and is 14, I will most likely get a sharp elbow in the ribs which is something that often happened to me when I was young and I came to expect in such situations. Even now, if I am in a situation where I have to hug an adult, I am a bit on mental guard to defend myself.

[Kitty_Ace]

Yes, sometimes. It's not all of the time for me but there are times that it almost physically hurts me to be touched. I don't know if that can be considered repulsed, but I think it's pretty yuck when I don't want it. It could be that maybe I'm so against it at that time that I'm associating it with physical pain? NOT SURE!

 

Usually though, I am OK with touching if I initiate it. Only very few people can touch me without me disliking it and it has to not feel sexual at all. It can't linger, it has to be firm... no "caressing". Often I stiffen up when touched or play around to make it not as intimate, even when I initiate it. 

 

With this, I also have a very big space bubble. It just varies on the situation and how open I'm feeling that day.

[justmekt]

I am definitely touch repulsed. For me, it started when I was 9 years old and had an accident that left me with chronic pain ever since. 

I dislike large crowds because people always bump into each other. I used to hate going to church because the greeters always wanted to shake hands or hug you. I used to make one of my younger brothers be my "bodyguard." Lol. His job was to go ahead of me and intercept any huggers. Love that kid. 

I have been in an intimate relationship, and was okay with being touched sometimes, but when that relationship ended up being sexually an emotionally abusive, my touch repulsion only got worse. I only hug my mom and daughter now, and they both have to ask first. Sometimes I will give my nephew a hug if he wants one too, but he is like a son to me, and it is rare that he wants hugs. Social distancing has felt like a godsend. I think my touch repulsion is pain and abuse related, not so much germ related, but it still helps during these times. 

I have just started considering going to therapy for my touch repulsion. 

I don't want to be a touchy person, but it would be nice to not feel anxious about other people touching me. 

[Libellule]

I don't really mind being touched by people I'm close with, but with everyone else it just makes me flinch. The worst thing is when people I don't know that well just randomly start touching me while they're explaining something. I guess my personal silver lining of this whole covid thing is that that has pretty much stopped now :')

[Osiyo_Waya]

2 hours ago, fairyofsuburbia said:

I don't really mind being touched by people I'm close with, but with everyone else it just makes me flinch. The worst thing is when people I don't know that well just randomly start touching me while they're explaining something. I guess my personal silver lining of this whole covid thing is that that has pretty much stopped now :')

I'm the same way.

 

I like hugs, hand holding, and maybe cuddling, but generally only with someone I know well. Sometimes I just don't like being touched at all, and will feel a bit cramped even with someone sitting next to me.

 

I have noticed that sometimes if someone touches me in a way that I don't anticipate (surprise hugs from the back, or patting my shoulder, for example), I have to make a conscious effort not to flinch, as my first reaction is that my personal space has been violated. Having to shake hands in a professional environment is 50/50, sometimes I don't even think about it, other times I wish I could avoid it.

[GhoulFriend]

I'm absolutely touch-repulsed. Like, I can't even go to a hairdresser (I do my own hair)  and can't stand shaking hands or hugging with anyone. I've had friends who offered to give me massages or trim/dye my hair but I declined every time, even with people I knew, just the thought of it gave me the willies!  It's bad. But I'm glad to know I'm not so alone with that! 

(...At least nowadays with social distancing in effect, I don't have to worry about it so much!)

[AppleSas]

This is literally exactly how I am. I think I just have a fear of touch? Like, I want touched, but my body reacts adversely to being touched without warning or if it's too much touch. If my friends touch my and I see it coming (and it's not a hug or holding hands or something) then I'm okay with it. Otherwise a complete fear reaction fills my body and my skin tingles. I hate it because I want to get in a romantic relationship filled with touch, but I literally get panic attacks from sudden touch sometimes.

 

I would say this is just part of me, I grew up not liking touch and it's just gotten more extreme over the years. I would never say my fear of touch is why I'm sex repulsed asexual tho. It's like two separate things that are similar and kinda related. (I fear general touch, not sex itself and the idea of sex is just unappealing rather than scary to me, if that makes sense).

[AppleSas]

On 6/13/2020 at 6:00 AM, Valentine Loren said:

I get angry when tell people that I don't like touches, and they start to touch me everywhere...

Literally though. I tell people it physically makes my body upset and then people poke and prod you like it's a game.

[AppleSas]

On 11/14/2020 at 5:10 PM, GhoulFriend said:

(...At least nowadays with social distancing in effect, I don't have to worry about it so much!)

I do get kinda annoyed when I tell people not to touch me and they go "paranoid about the virus huh?"

[Obsessed_With_Dragons]

I hate being touched in an affectionate way, although I'll tolerate it occasionally for people I'm really close to. However, I'm perfectly fine with non-affectionate touches from nearly everyone.