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Would you change your asexuality if possible?


Calla_Lily

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glamourgirl - if you were not with your current husband, you could always look out for a man who is impotent - like mine. Of course, being impotent does not stop them thinking about sex and maybe wanting other sexual things, but it sure does stop them wanting intercourse!!

To answer the main question, I don't think I'd change. However, if you are sexual and lucky enough to encounter a happy marriage for half a century (like two of my friends), I do think that is probably the happiest state. But you could be equally happy in a non-sexual partnership. It is a matter of finding the right person and creating your own relationship together.

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I don't know how it would be to be sexual, so how could I want to be any other way? I'm perfectly happy the way I am. :D

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Oh,yes,of course,my asexuality have given me nothing more that a lot of problems,I am alone,without a man or a woman,family,children,happiness.I would prefer being sexual,I would get married and I would have children,I think that I could go to a therapist to try change my sexual orientation,I don't know if this is possible,perhaps not,like homosexuality,but unless I could try it,it is only that I am ashamed and I never could go to a therapist to tell my problem. :cry:

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I am ashamed and I never could go to a therapist to tell my problem. :cry:

No no no! Don't let shame keep you from getting what you need, Lux! Find a therapist that you like (that won't necessarily be the first, my first was a disaster!). It is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Honestly.

And therapists have heard everything. Your secrets will be safe in their hands.

-Chiaroscuro

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Thank you for your kind words,Chiaroscuro,but now I am going to a Therapist,the other day I told her that I am asexual,and she laughed,telling me that asexuality doesn't exist.A psichiatrist told me that I was frigid,when I told him That I hadn't sexual atraction,so,I think that doctors don't believe in asexuality like a sexual option,so I prefer to not be "cured" by one of them,I only want to be sexual,or to be asexual happily living with an asexual partner,mission imposible,like the film.

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I am going to a Therapist,the other day I told her that I am asexual,and she laughed,telling me that asexuality doesn't exist.

See, that's just wrong. A therapist shouldn't be telling you what you are and what you aren't. I remember the first psychologist I went to said inappropriate things like "I don't know, you're kind of a stud..." What???? After three sessions, I was done and went and found someone else.

It does seem like asexuality can spring from a lot of different sources. A good therapist could help find yours. I wish you luck.

-Chiaroscuro

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Hi Lux. You keep thinking you wish you could be like everyone else... see, now listen, the Big Secret is... A lot of so called "normal" people are not happy. They are in relationships that are abusive, or with someone unfaithful, or their husband is a drunk... oh, do not get me started. Honey, I work for a divorce attorney -- you should thank God Almighty that He lifted the burden away from you. You don't realize the pain other people have when they are trapped in a loveless marriage with someone who is cold and cruel. If you want kids adopt one, but please, be happy with who you are... You're just as good as everyone else, and you don't need another person to make you complete. All you need is yourself. Okay? And those therapists are very unprofessional and don't comprehend the situation at all.

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Thank you for your kind words,They really help me and give me hope,I suposse that my therapist doesnt know anything about asexuality,and I prefer not to comment it with her, because she is an ignorant in that subject,but I would like living in an asexual world,I think that it would marvellous to have a country for us,I am a dreamer,I know,but sometimes it is better to dream,to dream with a platonic love,I think that if many people were like us,the world would be much better,less selfish.

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Yes... it would be nice to have our own nation... But George W. Bush might think we had oil and come to liberate us... so maybe we better just hide out within society!

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will be as one!

Okay... John Lennon said that, not me.

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I posted if I were to choose right now I'd say no which I thought I'd never say. Well it is because I am undecided, don't know if I want that to deal with right now, and also because you all got me thinking a bit in new ways for which I am thankful. I was so struck by all of you not wanting to change, it made me feel maybe there is a way to find some peace in all this. I have never been happy about not being interested, I didn't know there were others like me so I didn't know there was an option to meet someone like myself.

Diane

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I have never been happy about not being interested, I didn't know there were others like me so I didn't know there was an option to meet someone like myself.

Aven really does help me to understand what's about me, and what's not. It is a great community.

I like your paintings, Diane!

-Chiaroscuro

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Aven really does help me to understand what's about me, and what's not. It is a great community.

I like your paintings, Diane!

I know, now that I know things will be different. Thanks for saying you like my paintings. I see your are an artist too, sure wish I could see some of your work. I've seen alot of artwork on this site but I don't know if I've seen any of yours.

Diane

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wow diane! beautiful paintings! i'd love to see more if you're comfortable sharing them. did you take any painting classes or is it all natural talent? do you have any paintings of lotus flowers?

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Thanks, I'm glad you like my work. Actually these are my first paintings, yes, it comes naturally, I have to paint more before I have anything else to show. I've gone to a few classes since I started painting 2 years ago. I have two paintings started, the landscape/barn one I may be done soon. I'll post it in the Mic section when I finish it.

Diane

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No, I have not painting any lotus flowers but I may if I get a good picture. I just got a few used manual cameras so I hope I have better pictures to paint from soon. I just purchased some photos at a craft fair of some local birds and other things I found I would like to paint. it does take me awhile to finish my paintings from start to finish but I hope to paint most of what I bought.

Diane

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  • 4 weeks later...

Wow...interesting thread and replies! I am asexaul but have always tried to be sexual. I am married to a bi-sexual man that suppressed his "bi" for many years too.

But living with a sexual person...I've watched what being sexual does to him. Sex can be all consuming sometimes and I don't like that idea. It can distort your way of thinking and how you treat people. I don't want that either. But what I have wanted...is the ability to "feel" and even "want" sexual pleasures with him.

With being married to a sexual man...I would like to experience what he does. I would like to share another form of loving him and it would give us another fun thing to do together. So in that aspect...I would say yes, in a heartbeat!

But if i was on my own...no way! there's far too many hang-ups that go along with being sexual. Atleast in my opinion.

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Yeah, Starcat is right. Sex causes trouble!!! Just stay single & be happy & own a cat -- that's how I feel about stuff.

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Sex causes trouble!

Ha ha! Sexual desire certainly does cause trouble, but so does love, and anger, and fear and pleasure... any of a thousand human emotions. It's easy for someone who doesn't experience desire to say life's easier if you don't experience desire. Maybe so. I do experience it, however, and I feel my life enriched by the emotion, despite the problems it causes. It is a source of joy and positive energy, and part of what makes me who I am.

-Chiaroscuro

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I think that when you go through your entire life finding your sexuality as an asexual, going through that confusing phase of trying to find that part of yourself, or phases, you sort of start to accept yourself as is.

Once you're there, you wouldn't change yourself for the world.

It was very confusing for me while in high school, but I was lucky to have great friends.

That said, I wouldn't change my sexuality for the world.

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