Dreamsexual Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 On 6/3/2019 at 2:24 PM, misswinchester said: I genuinely just realised that my ideal sexual partner isn't real at all. It would be like, a highly advanced robot with the personality or some ficitonal character that I'm into that day XD I mean, what the fuck. . .. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 2 hours ago, misswinchester said: I genuinely just realised that my ideal sexual partner isn't real at all. It would be like, a highly advanced robot with the personality or some ficitonal character that I'm into that day XD I mean, what the fuck. I'm asexual, but my romantic partner is a car. You will fit in well here Link to post Share on other sites
misswinchester Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 22 hours ago, Dreamsexual said: You'd be suprised at just how much I can relate to that . It's fine, you're not that weird. It's ok. Have you come across terms like ficto, robo, digi, objectum, oneiro/somnio, psychesexual etc? Sorry to hear that. You really have no need to hate yourself. You're great. You're OK, it's ok, it's going to be ok. It takes time to figure things out. This website is helpful. Explore and talk ... There's people here who might at least be able to point you in helpful directions. 20 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: I'm asexual, but my romantic partner is a car. You will fit in well here thank you both so much Iiiiiiiiiii have genuinely never heard of any of those things. I can guess what some of them are but google is being entirely unhelpful. Do you have a link by any chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Mecha is machines in general yeah. Technically robots could come under it, but they also fit under techno (which is more electrical/computerised things); I don't think there are enough OSs to really care tbh. I think objectum is more for solid beings whereas psyche would be immaterial ones, though in a way everyone is a psyche. No one's falling just for a body are they?, but for the personality/soul/spirit/whatever. Unless they're a necrophile, in which case I believe the draw is lack of a soul... 1 hour ago, Dreamsexual said: and it feels really 'off' to some to think of their lover as an 'object'. Yes, that also. I mean we're all 'objects' really, but it has such negative connotations I don't like the word. It's not just my SO though, I refuse to call any machine an 'it'. I tend to call them 'they' unless it's risky to (you're never sure how strangers will react). Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamsexual Posted June 4, 2019 Author Share Posted June 4, 2019 On 6/4/2019 at 3:28 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said: but it has such negative connotations I don't like the word . Link to post Share on other sites
misswinchester Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 21 hours ago, Dreamsexual said: @misswinchester Well, off the top of my head ... First, there's a difference between sexual/romantic. To keep it simple, if you want sex you're sexual, if you want romance you're romantic. They come in all combos - so asexual romantic, sexual aromantic, etc. Second, there's 'orientation'. For those of us who aren't into humans this can get tricky, since the 'default' assumption is that people are thinking of humans. But basically, orientation refers to what genders you are attracted to - hetero, homo, bi, pan etc. Third, either as part of orientation or preference or whatever, there's the microlabels that can specify all kinds of things, but the useful ones here are: ficto- fictional characters, whether from a book/film or made-up yourself digi - digital images and constructs (like chat bots, game avatars etc) robo - robots (might also include sex dolls and sex robots) oneiro/somnio - two versions for attraction to dream characters mecha - cars (or maybe more broadly machines, but Anthra is the expert here) Fourth, there's the term 'objectum' which covers all attraction to 'objects' - boats, towers, desk lamps, whatever. So 'mecha' is a subcategory of objectum, as is 'robo'. It's often a very awkward term, though, because there's disagreement over a) whether only concrete objects count (is a dream character an object?) and b) a lot of 'objectums' hold that their partner, whether a car or tree or robot, has some sort of soul, personhood, objective beingness - and it feels really 'off' to some to think of their lover as an 'object'. These two issues led me to working with others on this site to develop the term inorganic psychesexual for those attracted to non-human persons (regardless of materiality), so both mecha and oneiro can be sub-categories of either onjectum or inorganic psychesexual depending upon whether you desire, or believe, your partner is a person/ensouled in some way. Fifth, I personally put some minor microlabels in parentheses to show the ways I am open to 'engaging' with my lover(she's called Ocean, btw) - so although my lover is an immaterial person, I have 'sex'/'cuddle' etc with her through dreams, dolls, cushions, digital media etc, as well as in my mind's eye. I hope that makes some sort of sense ... those who fall somewhere in the ficto/objectum camp are still quite few and far between and not always understood - and the terminology is still pretty new. though there's quite a few fictos here There's also the tricky issue of trans-specieists, but that's better left for another thread for now. Feel free to ask questions Thanks so much, that was really enlightening. I know of microlabels, but didn't know they were called that nor what these specific ones meant. I like it. I think what it all comes down to, reading this, is that sex, to me, is not an emotional thing in any way whatsoever. I'm a very touchy-feely kind of person, so this is rather surprising I suppose. I think what bothers me about having sex with a person is that to them, it probably wouldn't be a thing that is 100% physical. To me, being horny feels like a hormone-induced thing, and has nothing to do with my mind. I never, ever look at someone and get horny. The other way around happens, but very rarely, and only with strangers whom I like the look of. And even then, I'd never try and hook up with them, I think. As soon as I actually speak to someone, I realise they are actual people with feelings etc. and boom goes the dynamite lol. Fictional characters aren't real, and robots would technically, physically perfected to make me feel good. I think that might be where the difference lies between you and I? BTW, I don't think we should be bothered with trying to figure out whether certain micro-labels count tbh. I mean, we just use them amongst ourselves in order to create "aha moments". As actual communication to the outside world they are incredible rubbish anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamsexual Posted June 5, 2019 Author Share Posted June 5, 2019 On 6/5/2019 at 11:38 AM, misswinchester said: Fictional characters aren't real, and robots would technically, physically perfected to make me feel good. I think that might be where the difference lies between you and I? . Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 Just for clarification, objectums see 'objects' as individuals with a consciousness of sorts. If you're just using an 'object' to get off that's more of a fetish/kink. Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamsexual Posted June 5, 2019 Author Share Posted June 5, 2019 On 6/5/2019 at 2:52 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said: Just for clarification, objectums see 'objects' as individuals with a consciousness of sorts. If you're just using an 'object' to get off that's more of a fetish/kink. . Link to post Share on other sites
misswinchester Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 On 6/5/2019 at 4:45 PM, Dreamsexual said: I think the way I see it (and use the terms) is like: Inorganic Psychesexual or Animist Objectum - attraction to conscious non-human 'object-persons' Objectum - attraction to non-conscious 'objects' But most people who self-identify as objectums are, like you say, really animist objectums/psyches which I see as a terminology problem. Im not sure that attraction to non-conscious objects is really best thought of as a kink, though. Just attraction to non-consciousness. But I'm not really sure what the difference between a kink, a preference, and an orientation is ... I wish there was consensus and better terms to use. Oh well, at least I think we know what each other means, lol. . I just don't like thinking or talking of Ocean as an 'object', that's not how I see her at all ... And I know for sure you don't think of Clutch that way. Its also interesting you raise the idea of necrophiles ... I don't know any, so I don't know what exactly is it that attracts them ... In many ways I'm a little bit too close to such a designation (don't like human consciousness, but like the form etc) ... Dunno. Sorry peeps, took me a while to think this all over because you made some really good points that I had never considered before (sorry, yet another layer to heteronormativity I suppose). While it's definitely interesting to hear about all of this, it just doesn't click with me. Like, the way I found out about asexuality was someone on Tumblr saying Castiel on Supernatural was sooo asexual and I immediately went "yup! yup! tell me more google!". And yeah, I genuinely think I just am a kinky son of a bitch who loves vibrators too much whaha! On 6/5/2019 at 3:52 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said: Just for clarification, objectums see 'objects' as individuals with a consciousness of sorts. If you're just using an 'object' to get off that's more of a fetish/kink. This really helped as well. I mean, I know I said "my favourite sexual partner... would be like, a highly advanced robot with the personality or some ficitonal character that I'm into that day" but what I'm talking about is a highly advanced vibrator. The character would a) not be ingrained, and b) be very very optional. That robot would not have a consciousness of any kind. Sex, to me, is 100% a physical sensation so even its personality would be a physical, I guess mechanical thing in the same way a computer may have a "personality" that's not a consciousness. Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamsexual Posted June 10, 2019 Author Share Posted June 10, 2019 On 6/10/2019 at 11:35 AM, misswinchester said: it just doesn't click with me. . Link to post Share on other sites
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