Wenstia Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Hello! I think I've finally accepted that I belong in the asexual community after a lot of denial and an identity crisis, both of which I'm still not completely over. I've had nobody to relate to about the difficulties that asexuality comes with, and introducing myself to the AVEN community is probably the best way to start. I'm a cisgender heteroromantic female and I since my first relationship in high school I've known I lie at least somewhere on the asexual spectrum. Probably thanks to my denial, and due to only being 18, I haven't been able to label myself within that spectrum yet, and I know I don't need to but I'm unfortunately afraid of falling on the bottom due to the implications it would have on my love life. I just finished my first year of college, and the prevalence of conversation around sexual things really made me think. I tried my best to not be uncomfortable and chime in, but I found I didn't relate to my peers. I had a short relationship with a guy, and my lack of sexual feelings definitely created a lot of tension and issues in the relationship and quickly brought about its end. And that relationship really made me realize that dating in college for me is going to be rough. I'm very much a hopeless romantic and love every part of a relationship except the sexual part, so I'm not really sure what to do. Any advice for getting through college and the dating scene would be greatly appreciated. That's enough about that. As a person, I'm quite well rounded. I'm from California. I'm a big athlete: I'm on my college's varsity tennis team and track and field team, and hold the discus record at my college, and dabble on the club fencing team. I'm more into STEM than the arts and humanities. I love music; I play the piano and some woodwinds, and am trying to pick up some guitar. I have a lot of love for the world and the little things, like the stars and fairy lights and my friends and people's little quirks. I'm happy with my life, the only thing that is dampening it currently is the dark shadow that I'll end up alone. Unfortunately, I've been having a hard time finding a bright side to being asexual, and without my college friends around this summer, I'm going to be alone with my thoughts a lot. So any positive and friendly vibes and advice would very appreciated here! (This post ended up being a lot more depressing than I thought it would be, I promise I'm a funky fun person who's excited to get to know all of you. I gotta work on developing my blogging personality haha) ~Wenstia Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Hi wentsia, I'm sorry you've been having a hard time with your asexuality. Hopefully the forums will help While I'm here, I'd like to point out a number of useful threads and places on the AVEN. Most important is the site Terms of Service (ToS). I suggest you read them over and feel free to PM me or another mod or admin if you have any questions. Same goes for general forum questions (and you can also use this thread if you'd prefer). That said, if you have any questions about a specific forum, you should ask the moderator of that forum (you can find a list of who mods where here). I'd also recommend poking around each forum to see what each one is about if you haven't already -- it'll get you used to the site and who the regulars are Here's a few more Welcome-related or newbie links you might find useful: A brief guide to the forums Welcome Lounge mini-manual Asexuality FAQ Welcoming other members Welcome to Aven, I hope you like it here Link to post Share on other sites
CajunAce Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Hey there! I'm a fellow romantic ace in college. It can be pretty hard being around all those horny "adults", but not everyone is as sex-crazed as others. It mostly depends on what circles you're in. What sections of STEM do you like the most? I mostly dabbled in Biology before switching to English. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Welcome! 18 is definitely not too early to identify as ace. I figured it out at 16 myself, and there are others who figured it even younger. The thing with labels is that if you find a better fitting label later on you can change it. If right now you’re asexual then that’s your label, of later on you figure out you’re Demi or grey then you can worry about that later on Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Hello and welcome! Cake? 🍰🍰🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 A belated welcome to AVEN! I wish I had dating advice for you, but in my case, I've never had or desired either sex or a romantic relationship. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Tale Castle Cake, Link to post Share on other sites
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