Is my ex possibly aromantic?

[CanadaBoy]

Just to start, I myself am not aromantic, I am a heterosexual dude.

 

So I am not here trying to force this label on her or to assume she is, and she never mentioned the idea of being aro herself, but after breaking up with her, I stumbled upon aromantics and almost everything matches up with her and it would explain almost everything.

 

We dated twice in the span of about a year, both times she ended it.

 

She never liked physical touch or affection. She chalked it up to simply not being an affectionate person, she said the only person she really hugged is her mom. She would hug me, we would hold hands, cuddle, but she told me she didn't really like it and didn't see the point. I would initiate it, and she wouldn't pull away or anything, and said she didn't detest it or anything, but just had zero desire herself for it.

 

Her reason for ending the second and final time was that she didn't think our connection had ever been a romantic one. When we first met, we both instantly were drawn to each other, there was an undeniable connection there, and we both wanted to get to know each other more. She definitely seemed to have a crush on me. Other than not being very touchy with me, she did many other things that one would do when they have a crush, although now looking back, could it have simply been what you guys call a squish? She later said that she started dating me cause it seemed like the right thing to do. She thought I liked her, she thought I was awesome, she thought I was cute, and so she thought she must have liked me too.

 

She was always fine being around me, but she hated labels. She never liked being called bf and gf, or to say we were dating officially, because it was 'too much pressure'

 

She said she kept trying and trying the romance thing with me, but it wouldn't work. She wanted it too, but she couldn't.

We kissed once, it was her first kiss, and it wasn't that special. She later said she just did it cause she wanted to see what it was like.

 

In the time between our first breakup and getting back together again, we got really close again at one point. She would ask to hangout with me every chance we had, and we did a lot for a month or so. Then one time we hung out two days in a row and we were sort of flirty. Second day we went to her place, and watched TV in her basement, and ended up more or less cuddling (again we weren't dating at this point, strictly 'friends') and right after then she became really distant with me, stopped asking to see me until a few months later when we started again and eventually got back together.

 

When breaking up with me she said she got back with me the second time because she was at a lonely point in life, no friends, and she thought I was great and that she must 'have had feelings for me' because she thought about me a lot and I filled that void.

 

So,

 

I know it could be as simple as she just 'wasn't that into me', but idk, it all seems to add up. So, people who are aro themselves, does it seem likely?

[CanadaBoy]

17 minutes ago, OptimisticPessimist said:

Welcome   .

From what you've explained, there's a possibility they could be Aro, but could want more of a Queer-platonic relationship. Are they aware of Aromanticism?

Thanks haha.

 

I do not know if she knows of Aromanticism. I'm sure she knows of asexuality, and may have heard of aromanticism in passing, but perhaps hasn't made the connection. But as far as I know no, she doesn't. And yeah, our relationship, while at times somewhat romantic, was rather Queer-platonic.