Jump to content
Georgetown

The Fate of a Male Hetero Asexual in the USA

Recommended Posts

Sally
2 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

@Georgetown you asked what folks think of it, and I think it's coming off as self-pitying and slightly misogynistic.

 

2) Blaming the peacock pageant? This sure sounds a "beta male blames alpha males" thing. What I think is that you're sounding like the ace version of a "nice guy" who wants to put "nice tokens" into a woman until sex comes out -- but you want cuddles instead. Almost nobody is rocking relationships -- men and women -- and women are not achievements to win in your life, they're people, we're all just people.

^^^  This.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC
3 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

What I think is that you're sounding like the ace version of a "nice guy" who wants to put "nice tokens" into a woman until sex comes out -- but you want cuddles instead.

Ohhh yeah, ace guys are not immune. Not at all. I've seen it countless times on here. Ace versions of incels.

 

Do men want -- and are they worthy of -- love and companionship and affection and meaningful sexual relationships and non-sexual physical intimacy and all that stuff? Do they deserve to be taken seriously when struggling with things like loneliness and lack of connection? For sure. Men's mental and emotional health has (in some ways, anyway) been even more overlooked than women's. Yet another product of toxic masculinity. But does a man have the right to be angry at someone -- or at a whole demographic -- for not giving him something that he's not automatically owed? Nope.

 

I've known "nice guys" and I've known guys who are, well, actually nice -- although I would use other words to describe them, because my favourite elementary school teacher told me that 'nice' was a nothing word, and it's stuck with me. I know men who are kind, compassionate, understanding, respectful, strong, loving, wise, humble, sensitive, insightful, etc., and those things add up to being good people. And they don't go round whining about the "nice tokens" they put in.

 

But yes. Asexuals do this too. I've seen some that are worse than a lot of sexual guys, since they think they can't possibly be creepy or obnoxious if they're not after getting laid. Wrong.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC

Also,

 

5 hours ago, robnrdbrd said:

 

Like I said, I don't know from experience!  :)    ... I could be influenced more by TV/movies and people I know (men and women... joking?) in the 40+ demographic that they don't don't get any, can't be bothered, or are too tired, which at the very least seems much different than what seems to happen with people in their 20s.

Well, some maybe, but I think it's quite common for women to actually experience a greater sexual drive once they're out of their 20s anyway. Possibly due to increased confidence and comfort with themselves. But yes, I know that for some, things like menopause will lessen desire as they age. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza

My mother and step-father are in their mid fifties and still do the deed. I know this because I was letting Piggie wander round upstairs and found... sexual items... on my mother's side of the bed. Not a mistake I made twice :x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Georgetown
4 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

@Georgetown you asked what folks think of it, and I think it's coming off as self-pitying and slightly misogynistic.

 

1) I'm American and identified as purely female until recently and sexual and my partner now ID's as ace -- also recent and which has not been fun, but -- I love him and I suspect I would've ended up with him even if we'd known. We met online and started with LDR. So there is that. LDRs.

2) Blaming the peacock pageant? This sure sounds a "beta male blames alpha males" thing. What I think is that you're sounding like the ace version of a "nice guy" who wants to put "nice tokens" into a woman until sex comes out -- but you want cuddles instead. Almost nobody is rocking relationships -- men and women -- and women are not achievements to win in your life, they're people, we're all just people.

I am entitled to nothing at all from anyone. No one owes me or anyone else anything in the relationship space. I accept that I must pay handsomely for any kind of sustained human affection.

 

You guys have won. I surrender. You have succeeded in convincing me of the shame and futility of my preferences. All is good now. I am against all misogyny and have removed myself from the dating pool.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
anisotrophic
49 minutes ago, Georgetown said:

You guys have won. I surrender. You have succeeded in convincing me of the shame and futility of my preferences. All is good now. I am against all misogyny and have removed myself from the dating pool.

Hey, chill.... I hope it was fair to suggest you be a bit more self-skeptical here. I didn't mean to provoke a dogpile. And I mean, look, here's another point -- there ain't nothing like the misogyny of gay men. Which is to say, the act of dating women has little to do with it.

I said you sounded like it, but that doesn't mean you are it. Or that you will be it in the future -- that's up to you, right?

I know I can dig myself pretty deep into feeling shitty (to whit -- when's the last time anyone was sexually attracted to me, the way I am to them? 15 years ago? was it ever real? will I ever experience it in the future, now that I'm old and messed up? ugh.) ... and sometimes I need a kick to remind me not to get too wrapped up in it. 😛 Other people have struggles too, often worse than mine.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Georgetown
16 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

Hey, chill.... I hope it was fair to suggest you be a bit more self-skeptical here. I didn't mean to provoke a dogpile. And I mean, look, here's another point -- there ain't nothing like the misogyny of gay men. Which is to say, the act of dating women has little to do with it.

I said you sounded like it, but that doesn't mean you are it. Or that you will be it in the future -- that's up to you, right?

I know I can dig myself pretty deep into feeling shitty (to whit -- when's the last time anyone was sexually attracted to me, the way I am to them? 15 years ago? was it ever real? will I ever experience it in the future, now that I'm old and messed up? ugh.) ... and sometimes I need a kick to remind me not to get too wrapped up in it. 😛 Other people have struggles too, often worse than mine.

All sexism is a nightmare. I want us all to be people to each other. I hate that our culture forces it upon us, to be pawns in awful games. I’d rather be alone and unhappy than contribute to it, if that’s what’s needed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dreamsexual

 

On 21 May 2019 at 5:47 PM, Georgetown said:

I’d rather be alone and unhappy than contribute to it, if that’s what’s needed.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Moon Spirit ☽
On ‎5‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 2:37 AM, Georgetown said:

hetero asexual women are often perfectly fine to date heterosexual men, who seem to always outdo asexual men in the peacock pageant with all the motivation that comes from their desire for sex.

To attract heterosexual men as a woman you have to be visually appealing. The romantic asexual women that are with heterosexual men are competing with other women to attract males, so it makes sense that they are going for men who are the most appealing to them. That's what everyone does, sexual or asexual, male or female or otherwise.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oldgeeza

I guess that we are the minority, I'm in the UK, I am unaware of ever meeting another asexual, truthfully, I've been on my own since 1991, I'm in my mid 50's now and I have realised that I'm destined to be on my own, that said, I've heard of asexual couples both hetero and gay who've got together, it's possible so I wouldn't give up looking, I wouldn't suggest dating sites unless they're asexual based sites, there are a few of them, they're worth a look, for me, I didn't realise there were others like me until it was too late, I'm in a single persons job, living in a single persons pad and that's what I've got used to, I don't think I'd be any good in a relationship now, but that's just me, that said, I would say, go to meet ups, go out when you can, you just never know what's around the corner

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
daveb

Heteromantic ace men should have it easier in one way, they seem to be outnumbered by heteromantic ace women, so the odds would seem to be better. Yeah, aces in general are a small percentage of the total population, so that limits our chances. But it isn't hopeless if one keeps an open mind and doesn't become bitter as bitterness is unbecoming.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ryn2
50 minutes ago, daveb said:

Heteromantic ace men should have it easier in one way, they seem to outnumber heteromantic ace women,

Huh.  I keep seeing people here posting the opposite (that ace women greatly outnumber ace men).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
daveb
4 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

Huh.  I keep seeing people here posting the opposite (that ace women greatly outnumber ace men).

Oops, that's what I meant. I wrote it the wrong way round. I'll edit my post.

 

That's what I get for posting while migraineing. :P 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ryn2
2 minutes ago, daveb said:

That's what I get for posting while migraineing

You too, eh?

 

I wondered if there might be a typo somewhere because “proportionately more men” and “advantageous to men” seem contradictory... but migraine brain!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RoseGoesToYale

God, it's an awful system we have going in the US... a horrendously low-contact culture to the point where people don't get their basic (non-sexual) touch needs met, which actually makes some people lose their minds and do violent things, and I really can't help but wonder how many shootings could've been prevented if someone had just given them a minute-long hug and said "It's going to be ok. You are enough. You are loved." Compound that with the fact that this society sees touch as black and white... "there is platonic touch, and there is sexy times, and touch is either one or the other, period!" Which is bs, and even psychologists are starting to wonder how many people are forcing themselves into sex they don't really want in order for their touch needs to be met, because it's practically taboo for friends to touch each other. The idea of two people intimately touching in non-sexual ways gets perverted into the next century by onlookers for no rational reason at all.

 

Does it affect women? Oooh yeah. All my life I've wanted a romantic relationship (though it took me until 19 to figure out to call it romantic/sensual, and not the usual), and my female friends around could've cared less about the success of their love lives. And somehow, they got boyfriends by the boatloads, even as far back as middle school. I never said anything to them about this, but I was horribly jealous of them and confused out of my mind because I could not understand how they were doing it. I had hoards more crushes then they ever had and I talked about them incessantly, like I do, and I know they were annoyed at times even if they don't admit it, but I failed with every single one. But in American girl culture, when you're down on your luck in the romance department, they don't play wingwoman, they don't encourage you to get back out there. They pity, and they sympathize, and say "there theres" and "poor things", which works great... unless getting a fulfilling romantic relationship is one of your life goals. But women have it, extremely ironically, pounded into their heads from birth that they should not care. No need to care about relationships, because you're a woman, and women are strong and independent and don't need that sort of thing! (Ah, but if you don't get into one, we'll all give you funny looks) Let men chase after you like poor homeless puppy dogs!

 

I can't play by those rules. I do not understand those rules. I am a painfully direct person. If I like someone, I don't sit around, I take action. I try to talk to the guy, and I ask him out in short order? Does this work? No, because American gender roles are still ridiculously strong, it's still uncouth for a woman to ask a man out, and doing so is considered to be emasculating. Even with this "knowledge", it's still how I roll. Is this the main reason I'm still single? Dunno, could also be the aceness and lack of decent verbal skills. But gender roles still take the moldy freakin' biscuit.

 

It's an awful vicious cycle. You can't get your touch needs met from the platonic realm, and then if you can't get a romantic relationship, those needs don't get met, which eat you alive, compounded with now you start to feel unloveable, like something is morbidly wrong with you. And you try desperately to figure out what it is, to make changes, to become a better person. And when it fails again and again, the failure becomes cemented. You look at the mirror and start to hate yourself. When you're female, you're told you're supposed to love yourself, so then you feel even worse. And then your lack of self confidence bleeds through even your biggest and brightest smile. But you never tell anyone this because you're scared you'll be chastised by other women for being a failure as a woman, or for being oppressed by the patriarchy for putting my self worth into a man's love. Wouldn't make a lick of difference if I were homoromantic, I'd just be chasing after women with probably the same failure rate. Just so happens I'm attracted to dudes. And I'd have to explain that my self worth isn't tied to anyone, but my emotional/physical needs demand special closeness from someone, and my heart really wants, for mystical unknown reasons, for that person to have an appearance different from my own. If I could take a pill that'd cure me of any attraction, I'd take it.

 

Where in hell was I going with this? Gender sucks, I was definitely going there. But that some women out there are in the same boat, and we're more bitter than death wish coffee, and maybe just as strong, but darned if we know how to break the cycle, either. It's not just hetero-ace men. It's like the Toronto Maple Leafs. You know they can do it, you know they could make it, but the voices of all those failures makes you say and do things like throw your jerseys on the ice in disgust, to the disdain of everyone else in the league. (Sorry Toronto, didn't mean to pick on you. Just remember you have cups, way more than my team has, and that's proof you could always do it. I'm having a bad day.)

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Georgetown
2 hours ago, daveb said:

Heteromantic ace men should have it easier in one way, they seem to be outnumbered by heteromantic ace women, so the odds would seem to be better. Yeah, aces in general are a small percentage of the total population, so that limits our chances. But it isn't hopeless if one keeps an open mind and doesn't become bitter as bitterness is unbecoming.

Maybe at the ace conference in NYC coming up what you’re saying will hold ture

 

1 hour ago, RoseGoesToYale said:

God, it's an awful system we have going in the US... a horrendously low-contact culture to the point where people don't get their basic (non-sexual) touch needs met, which actually makes some people lose their minds and do violent things, and I really can't help but wonder how many shootings could've been prevented if someone had just given them a minute-long hug and said "It's going to be ok. You are enough. You are loved." Compound that with the fact that this society sees touch as black and white... "there is platonic touch, and there is sexy times, and touch is either one or the other, period!" Which is bs, and even psychologists are starting to wonder how many people are forcing themselves into sex they don't really want in order for their touch needs to be met, because it's practically taboo for friends to touch each other. The idea of two people intimately touching in non-sexual ways gets perverted into the next century by onlookers for no rational reason at all.

 

Does it affect women? Oooh yeah. All my life I've wanted a romantic relationship (though it took me until 19 to figure out to call it romantic/sensual, and not the usual), and my female friends around could've cared less about the success of their love lives. And somehow, they got boyfriends by the boatloads, even as far back as middle school. I never said anything to them about this, but I was horribly jealous of them and confused out of my mind because I could not understand how they were doing it. I had hoards more crushes then they ever had and I talked about them incessantly, like I do, and I know they were annoyed at times even if they don't admit it, but I failed with every single one. But in American girl culture, when you're down on your luck in the romance department, they don't play wingwoman, they don't encourage you to get back out there. They pity, and they sympathize, and say "there theres" and "poor things", which works great... unless getting a fulfilling romantic relationship is one of your life goals. But women have it, extremely ironically, pounded into their heads from birth that they should not care. No need to care about relationships, because you're a woman, and women are strong and independent and don't need that sort of thing! (Ah, but if you don't get into one, we'll all give you funny looks) Let men chase after you like poor homeless puppy dogs!

 

I can't play by those rules. I do not understand those rules. I am a painfully direct person. If I like someone, I don't sit around, I take action. I try to talk to the guy, and I ask him out in short order? Does this work? No, because American gender roles are still ridiculously strong, it's still uncouth for a woman to ask a man out, and doing so is considered to be emasculating. Even with this "knowledge", it's still how I roll. Is this the main reason I'm still single? Dunno, could also be the aceness and lack of decent verbal skills. But gender roles still take the moldy freakin' biscuit.

 

It's an awful vicious cycle. You can't get your touch needs met from the platonic realm, and then if you can't get a romantic relationship, those needs don't get met, which eat you alive, compounded with now you start to feel unloveable, like something is morbidly wrong with you. And you try desperately to figure out what it is, to make changes, to become a better person. And when it fails again and again, the failure becomes cemented. You look at the mirror and start to hate yourself. When you're female, you're told you're supposed to love yourself, so then you feel even worse. And then your lack of self confidence bleeds through even your biggest and brightest smile. But you never tell anyone this because you're scared you'll be chastised by other women for being a failure as a woman, or for being oppressed by the patriarchy for putting my self worth into a man's love. Wouldn't make a lick of difference if I were homoromantic, I'd just be chasing after women with probably the same failure rate. Just so happens I'm attracted to dudes. And I'd have to explain that my self worth isn't tied to anyone, but my emotional/physical needs demand special closeness from someone, and my heart really wants, for mystical unknown reasons, for that person to have an appearance different from my own. If I could take a pill that'd cure me of any attraction, I'd take it.

 

Where in hell was I going with this? Gender sucks, I was definitely going there. But that some women out there are in the same boat, and we're more bitter than death wish coffee, and maybe just as strong, but darned if we know how to break the cycle, either. It's not just hetero-ace men. It's like the Toronto Maple Leafs. You know they can do it, you know they could make it, but the voices of all those failures makes you say and do things like throw your jerseys on the ice in disgust, to the disdain of everyone else in the league. (Sorry Toronto, didn't mean to pick on you. Just remember you have cups, way more than my team has, and that's proof you could always do it. I'm having a bad day.)

You have accurately described many things. I was once told by someone that the best part of sex is the cuddling immediately following. Many people probably do feel pressured into sex to experience simple human affection that is otherwise completely taboo for Americans.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sally
13 hours ago, Georgetown said:

I hate that our culture forces it upon us, to be pawns in awful games. 

For millenia, humanoid creatures have had sex with each other, and after many hundreds of thousands of years, became  desirous of having mates whom they loved, not just had sex with.  It isn't "our" culture, and it isn't forced upon us, and what many/most of us experience are not awful games.  I'm sorry you feel that way, but do not claim that your feelings are those of all humans.  

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dreamsexual

.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC
2 hours ago, Sally said:
16 hours ago, Georgetown said:

I hate that our culture forces it upon us, to be pawns in awful games. 

For millenia, humanoid creatures have had sex with each other, and after many hundreds of thousands of years, became  desirous of having mates whom they loved, not just had sex with.  It isn't "our" culture, and it isn't forced upon us, and what many/most of us experience are not awful games.  I'm sorry you feel that way, but do not claim that your feelings are those of all humans

Indeed.

 

I've never really understood that mindset -- the need to demonise things that one doesn't experience or relate to themselves. I assume it's a product of bitterness. To which I'm not immune myself over certain things for sure, however it's never really occurred to me to characterise such things so negatively. My struggles are not everyone else's fault. They may not be my fault either, but that doesn't mean it's logical to behave with derision. Although perhaps that's come with age, a little... I experienced a bit more of that in my 20s, I think.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dreamsexual
On 22 May 2019 at 9:52 AM, CBC said:

the need to demonise things that one doesn't experience or relate to themselves.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ryn2

As an American AFAB person what Rose describes has not been my experience.  Some of that is probably generational, but it may also be geography (as I asked a few younger friends and it didn’t resonate with them either).

 

Not in any way implying that it isn’t true for Rose; just pointing out that America is a big, diverse place and there isn’t an overarching “American female experience.”

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
11 hours ago, RoseGoesToYale said:

But women have it, extremely ironically, pounded into their heads from birth that they should not care. No need to care about relationships, because you're a woman, and women are strong and independent and don't need that sort of thing!

It's the same for men, and gets called toxic masculinity. The same mentality leads to objectifying women and general misogyny.

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AspieAlly613
11 hours ago, RoseGoesToYale said:

God, it's an awful system we have going in the US... a horrendously low-contact culture to the point where people don't get their basic (non-sexual) touch needs met, which actually makes some people lose their minds and do violent things, and I really can't help but wonder how many shootings could've been prevented if someone had just given them a minute-long hug and said "It's going to be ok. You are enough. You are loved." Compound that with the fact that this society sees touch as black and white... "there is platonic touch, and there is sexy times, and touch is either one or the other, period!" Which is bs, and even psychologists are starting to wonder how many people are forcing themselves into sex they don't really want in order for their touch needs to be met, because it's practically taboo for friends to touch each other. The idea of two people intimately touching in non-sexual ways gets perverted into the next century by onlookers for no rational reason at all.

 

Does it affect women? Oooh yeah. All my life I've wanted a romantic relationship (though it took me until 19 to figure out to call it romantic/sensual, and not the usual), and my female friends around could've cared less about the success of their love lives. And somehow, they got boyfriends by the boatloads, even as far back as middle school. I never said anything to them about this, but I was horribly jealous of them and confused out of my mind because I could not understand how they were doing it. I had hoards more crushes then they ever had and I talked about them incessantly, like I do, and I know they were annoyed at times even if they don't admit it, but I failed with every single one. But in American girl culture, when you're down on your luck in the romance department, they don't play wingwoman, they don't encourage you to get back out there. They pity, and they sympathize, and say "there theres" and "poor things", which works great... unless getting a fulfilling romantic relationship is one of your life goals. But women have it, extremely ironically, pounded into their heads from birth that they should not care. No need to care about relationships, because you're a woman, and women are strong and independent and don't need that sort of thing! (Ah, but if you don't get into one, we'll all give you funny looks) Let men chase after you like poor homeless puppy dogs!

 

I can't play by those rules. I do not understand those rules. I am a painfully direct person. If I like someone, I don't sit around, I take action. I try to talk to the guy, and I ask him out in short order? Does this work? No, because American gender roles are still ridiculously strong, it's still uncouth for a woman to ask a man out, and doing so is considered to be emasculating. Even with this "knowledge", it's still how I roll. Is this the main reason I'm still single? Dunno, could also be the aceness and lack of decent verbal skills. But gender roles still take the moldy freakin' biscuit.

 

It's an awful vicious cycle. You can't get your touch needs met from the platonic realm, and then if you can't get a romantic relationship, those needs don't get met, which eat you alive, compounded with now you start to feel unloveable, like something is morbidly wrong with you. And you try desperately to figure out what it is, to make changes, to become a better person. And when it fails again and again, the failure becomes cemented. You look at the mirror and start to hate yourself. When you're female, you're told you're supposed to love yourself, so then you feel even worse. And then your lack of self confidence bleeds through even your biggest and brightest smile. But you never tell anyone this because you're scared you'll be chastised by other women for being a failure as a woman, or for being oppressed by the patriarchy for putting my self worth into a man's love. Wouldn't make a lick of difference if I were homoromantic, I'd just be chasing after women with probably the same failure rate. Just so happens I'm attracted to dudes. And I'd have to explain that my self worth isn't tied to anyone, but my emotional/physical needs demand special closeness from someone, and my heart really wants, for mystical unknown reasons, for that person to have an appearance different from my own. If I could take a pill that'd cure me of any attraction, I'd take it.

 

Where in hell was I going with this? Gender sucks, I was definitely going there. But that some women out there are in the same boat, and we're more bitter than death wish coffee, and maybe just as strong, but darned if we know how to break the cycle, either. It's not just hetero-ace men. It's like the Toronto Maple Leafs. You know they can do it, you know they could make it, but the voices of all those failures makes you say and do things like throw your jerseys on the ice in disgust, to the disdain of everyone else in the league. (Sorry Toronto, didn't mean to pick on you. Just remember you have cups, way more than my team has, and that's proof you could always do it. I'm having a bad day.)

WOW!

 

That's a lot of information to process.  I was hardly aware of any of this or how strong it was, but it's consistent with my observations of reality in the urban areas of the northeast.  Thanks for blowing the whistle about this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
Just now, PaganUnicorn said:

..are you implying feminism leads to toxic femininity and the objectifying of men and misandry or are you just pointing out the double standard?

I hadn't really thought about the idea of toxic feminity. If anything I'm saying there is no double standard - part of the American individualism ideology, tangled up with pop psychology, has developed into an idea that since our fates are in our own hands, we shouldn't have any need for other people in our lives. For men, that leads to the idea that needing other is weak and unmanly. My perception of most women's relationships (I'm middle aged, middle class and in the UK) is that they tend to be more open and supportive of each other, but since I'm not a woman, I can only listen to what they say.

 

7 minutes ago, PaganUnicorn said:

hey will get their needs met through sex like you said. people become each others drug dealers, nourishing each others dependency.

Equating the normal (in the sense that 99% of people have it) need for sex with drug dealing really isn't helpful, and is getting into the realms of asexual elitism.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ryn2

-

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ryn2
18 minutes ago, AspieAlly613 said:

it's consistent with my observations of reality in the urban areas of the northeast. 

I’ve heard this from/about men in the US northeast, but not from/about women.  That may just be my friend group or immediate geography, though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
1 minute ago, PaganUnicorn said:

As a woman, that hasnt been my experience

Which bit?

 

Your drug dealer analogy is still assuming having sex is in some way a bad thing and it's better not to, or the whole thing doesn't work.

 

Would you make the same parallel about how people get hooked on edifying conversations with friends for example?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
Just now, PaganUnicorn said:

I don't see how?

Because you wouldn't (and explicitly don't, in your counter example) use the drug addiction analogy when you think the 'addiction' is to something you approve of, so you're implicitly saying sex is a bad thing, otherwise you wouldn't say people were addicted to it any more than they're addicted to conversation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
1 minute ago, PaganUnicorn said:

What do i approve of?

You approve of 'truly edifying and genuine conversations', so you explicitly refuse to use the 'hooked'. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
Just now, PaganUnicorn said:

@Telecaster68 I also approve of 'truly edifying and genuine intimacy' if that makes you feel better.

It's not really about me feeling better, just about being clear that if people find sex necessary for edifying and genuine intimacy, that's an unequivocally good thing too. I assume you agree with that too?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...