stop being so sad everyone

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Strifed said:

I just came to terms with myself and just live my life the way that brings me happiness and makes sense for me.

I love that!  

[Sally]

I think the main problem with asexuality is that it is not well-known enough now that asexuals can't easily find each other.   If that were possible, I think we'd find that the 1-2% estimate is way under the reality, and it would not be so difficult for people who wished asexual partners to find them.  

[Philip027]

Quote

I think the main problem with asexuality is that it is not well-known enough now that asexuals can't easily find each other.   If that were possible, I think we'd find that the 1-2% estimate is way under the reality,

Does it not occur to you that maybe the very reason it isn't well-known enough and that we can't easily find each other might be because it really is that rare, if not rarer?

 

IMO if we really were 1% we would be a lot more known and visible, because that would actually be a shitload of people.  There'd be plenty of (known) minorities smaller than that.

[Guest]

17 hours ago, Dreamsexual said:

, I'll go with Zizek and say, 'Why by happy when you can be interestingly?'

You forgot all the sniffs in between every other word! 😁

[RoseGoesToYale]

27 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

Does it not occur to you that maybe the very reason it isn't well-known enough and that we can't easily find each other might be because it really is that rare, if not rarer?

I think there are a lot of social/cultural factors not accounted for when scientists draw up the numbers they do. Norms of femininity/masculinity in terms of expected sexual behavior, lack of access to resources (AVEN requires a stable internet connection and the site can't be government censored), survey takers being unsure of whether the term "asexual" fits, social desirability bias (men probably face more pressure to put down heterosexual, could be why their numbers are lower), to name a few. There's also the complex, fluid nature of human (a)sexual behavior. It's hard to say for sure how many aces are on this careening ball of water.

 

I think if we focus on being positive within the ace community and lifting each other up, then that positivity will radiate outwards. If someone out there wants to belittle me, deny me, or insult me because of my sexual orientation, I'm not gonna stand there wasting my breath. They might come around eventually, but in the meantime I'll just go find someone with a more receptive ear. I don't even need understanding from them yet, just basic human respect and a willingness to listen. Everyone in here is normal and human. There are plenty of sexuals out there who know we're normal and human. That's what keeps me from getting down.

[Philip027]

That's cool, but I was talking about the proportion of asexual people, something which is not affected by how positive/negative we are about it.

[pan-loving ace]

3 hours ago, RoseGoesToYale said:

I think if we focus on being positive within the ace community and lifting each other up, then that positivity will radiate outwards.

this! is what i wanted to say. again, n i know i’m being repetitive, but i respect that fact that you guys can be unhappy. but since we have each other- who knows what each other is going through in some degree-we are closer than anyone else in terms of sexuality. we can be positive towards each other. don’t let others, and yourself, down. ty for saying this as you can tell i’m not very good with elaborating/words. 

[Dreamsexual]

On ‎5‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 12:16 AM, Strifed said:

But then out of nowhere I fell in love with this video game character, and I felt so happy to finally understand what other people felt when they were in love and I finally genuinely wanted to be with someone, but also so sad because no one would ever understand + I have to hide this part of myself. I can't ever tell a friend how I feel about Cloud, or they'd probably think I was insane and I'm already tired of some of my family trying to push me to date. It feels awful when I think about it and it has stressed me out before, but I try not to focus on the negative things...

.

[Strifed]

6 minutes ago, Dreamsexual said:

I hear you.

But I would say you can't ever tell anyone ... Even fictos can come out. But I totally understand the issues there.

true, but it feels so hard to explain to people 😩 but idk... maybe one day I can take baby steps towards it? Because I think my brother knows I have feelings for a certain someone and my family knows that I like him, but I don't think it ever crosses their mind that I super like him (they all expect me to get married and have kids even though I specifically told my mom I don't even like kids RIP) 😅 I'm too scared to tell my friend too because I'm scared of her reaction, but idk maybe she'll just say, "Oh... well that makes sense." since I have had zero interest in guys and she kinda knows it lmao. I don't think I'd even go in depth about how I feel, but maybe just a general, "Hey, this character is special to me" kind of thing might be enough idk lol

[Dreamsexual]

On ‎5‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 6:21 AM, Strifed said:

but it feels so hard to explain to people

.

[Pandark]

10 hours ago, Sally said:

When someone tells me to "Smile!" or "Look at things positively!" or "It's not as bad as you think!", I think they're trying to make themselves feel better, not me.  

I've been fighting depression for as long as I can remember and I can feel where this is coming from. Still, I've found that for me the best way of coping is putting things in perspective. The bigger picture ofttimes really isn't as bad as one may think. Too bad "putting things in perspective" isn't taught in schools. I am convinced a solid philosophy can prevent a lot of suffering. Besides that I find telling people to cheer up is fine. I mean, sure you can give a negative reply and that's totally fine too. I just find it can be a way of letting someone know you're there for them without making any unwise commitments. Usually I'm prepared to put some effort into making someone smile too. This is, of course, more difficult when using a medium such as the internet.

 

 

[Dreamsexual]

On ‎5‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 9:33 AM, Morte said:

I am convinced a solid philosophy can prevent a lot of suffering.

.

[Guest]

11 hours ago, RoseGoesToYale said:

I think if we focus on being positive within the ace community and lifting each other up, then that positivity will radiate outwards. If someone out there wants to belittle me, deny me, or insult me because of my sexual orientation, I'm not gonna stand there wasting my breath. They might come around eventually, but in the meantime I'll just go find someone with a more receptive ear. I don't even need understanding from them yet, just basic human respect and a willingness to listen. Everyone in here is normal and human. 

👏👏👏

 

I wouldn't say that I'm feeling sad about my sexual orientation. Sure, I used to feel down, angry too, but I've learnt to accept it. It is what it is. And it might not seem like it at times (I have my bad days like everyone else does), but I'm actually a very positive person. I'm surprisingly good at bringing other people up!  

 

I agree with not wasting your breath on certain people. Some people just don't want to hear anything that challenges their narrow view of the world. 

[Guest]

Even if I weren't asexual I wouldn't be a normie so I don't feel as though the asexuality really matters.

[aquariusabandoned]

I actually don’t feel sad about being asexual. When other people have sex constantly on their mind, I don’t. However, I do worry about being taken advantage of as it’s happened before.