Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
abandoned acc

Feeling...Conflicted

Recommended Posts

abandoned acc

title says it all but i guess a little bit of backstory is in order as well

  i've identified as i have since probably 2014 although looking back at my "i'm never having a girlfriend!"speeches as a kid should have been a bit of a hint before.

  and since then i've grown more and more comfortable calling myself ace, but recently i've been seriously doubting if i am or not.

  ya see i've always been very sex positive and i take a lot of issue with the way society treats and views sex and sexuality and since i turned 18 have been upfront with that option and have tried to "combat" it by being "horny on main" as people say.

  and regarding masturbation i do it once maybe twice a week solely as a dopamine release.

  but that's where the conflicting feelings come from; if i enjoy looking at what can be respectively called "erotic japanese art" and am not repulsed by sex then am i really ace?

  i have more to say but getting words on screen is hard when you're tired and i really need some interaction and discussion with other ace people to make sense of my feelings because this is the first time i've ever talked at length about my sexuality anywhere

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The cake is not a lie

Being ace is only about lack of sexual attraction. You can love erotic art and masturbating, and as long as you don't experience sexual attraction you're ace. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The cake is not a lie

Also, it's a tradition to welcome people with cake.

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS1vOjso11HnV8JW4mqVdW

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dreamsexual

Hello and welcome to aven rylan! :)

 

There's all kinds of debates to be had about exactly what counts as asexual, and various microlabels underneath - it can all get very complex!  But I'm not sure exactly how much it really matters so long as you're able to define yourself in a way that makes sense to you, and able to express your identity clearly to others so they can understand.

 

But then what do I know - as you can see from my profile I have a real hard time sorting out what labels apply to me :)

 

And since you're new, its a tradition here to make people feel welcome and safe by offering them cake.  Fancy a slice?

 

carrot-cake.jpg

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
abandoned acc
14 minutes ago, The cake is not a lie said:

Being ace is only about lack of sexual attraction. You can love erotic art and masturbating, and as long as you don't experience sexual attraction you're ace. 

 

11 minutes ago, Dreamsexual said:

Hello and welcome to aven rylan! :)

 

There's all kinds of debates to be had about exactly what counts as asexual, and various microlabels underneath - it can all get very complex!  But I'm not sure exactly how much it really matters so long as you're able to define yourself in a way that makes sense to you, and able to express your identity clearly to others so they can understand.

 

But then what do I know - as you can see from my profile I have a real hard time sorting out what labels apply to me :)

 

And since you're new, its a tradition here to make people feel welcome and safe by offering them cake.  Fancy a slice?

 

carrot-cake.jpg

omg i'm literally on the verge of tears rn. this is the first time i've ever felt supported about my sexuality and i'm so unbelievably happy

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dreamsexual
1 minute ago, Rylan Gray said:

omg i'm literally on the verge of tears rn. this is the first time i've ever felt supported about my sexuality and i'm so unbelievably happy

*feels* :)

It's like that a lot here ... It's all ok.  You're ok.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Puck

Also, keep in mind that libido is not included in the asexual label. Many if not most aces have libidos. It's just that, unlike their sexual pals, they don't feel the need to satisfy it with a partner. So an asexual can still feel a need for masturbation and enjoy it. And for some, they use tools such as porn/art/smut to help them get off.

 

Until you start feeling that you actively want to have some kind of partnered sexual experience with another person, I wouldn't get to hung up on your enjoyment of masturbation.

 

Also good to keep in mind that a label basically exists to communicate to others what kind of sexual relationship your body wants. If you aren't on the hunt for any sexual relationship of any kind, then you are pretty dang safe to call yourself ace.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...