How do I know?

[Whomadewho]

Hi 

 

I with my girlfriend a long time and from the start, something just didnt feel right. We had a regular sex for the first few years, but when she got comfortable in the relationship, the excuses started. For years I just thought I just drifted into a sexless relationship, but she made a comment on holiday after I brought up being rejected again, saying that there is nothing she can do, she just doesn't like sex. I didnt even know about asexuaility before then, but I came across aven.

From reading post on aven, i have figured out that my girlfriend maybe on the spectrum. I have brought up the idea with my girlfriend, but she has denied it, and says that she feels sexual attraction. I asked her to do one of those questionnaires online about asexuaility, which she passed as a sexual.

I have asked a few questions below.

Whats turns you on? Nothing.

Do u ever get horny? No

Is there anything I can do for you in the bedroom? No.

Have you any sexual fantasies? No

Have you ever watched porn? No

What do you think off while having sex? I just concentrate on achieving an orgasm. 

Do the answers to the above questions  point in the direction of asexuailty or is it that she just has a low libido. How can she feel sexual attraction and still have given the answers above. 

We went through a bad few years in the bedroom but are now back having having a regular sexlife, even though she seems neutral to it. 

I have a high sex drive but I am happy having sex once a week, which she agreed is not too much.

I am still convinced she is on the spectrum through. Any opinions whould be appreciated.

 Thanks

 

[TheAP]

This does seem to point towards asexuality. To help clarify things and get a better understanding of her sexuality, you could ask her what she means when she says she feels sexual attraction.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

She's probably confusing romantic and/or aesthetic attraction for sexual, since the split-model isn't exactly talked about in general society. If she isn't interested in sex that's a pretty sure sign of asexuality.