Why do people often prefer sex to masturbation (see details)?

[Homer]

I get mine from avoiding social interaction.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I suppose it's like the difference between holding your own arm (which sometimes I do when I have anxiety to ground myself) and snuggling with your loved one(s) (which is the preferred option but not always possible). I mean I'm guessing here, but that's what it sounds like.

[Pandark]

On 5/5/2019 at 8:38 PM, Homer said:

I get mine from avoiding social interaction.

Heh, now there's a grim ace.

 

On 5/5/2019 at 9:34 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I suppose it's like the difference between holding your own arm (which sometimes I do when I have anxiety to ground myself) and snuggling with your loved one(s) (which is the preferred option but not always possible). I mean I'm guessing here, but that's what it sounds like.

I think holding your own arm is more of a self-assuring posture, and a closed one at that. I'm not sure what this does to hormone levels, but I'm certain you need at least social interaction with other people (or even animals) to attain a healthy level of oxytocin. Indeed not always easy to put into practice.

[ryn2]

On 5/5/2019 at 8:47 AM, CBC said:

Lol... thank you for that spoilered description, @Serran. It's a good one.

Hah, for me all that stuff in the spoilered section is distracting/interferes with focus/detracts from the whole experience.

 

It’s always so fascinating (not just for sex stuff) how people can experience the same things, find the experience itself super-relatable, and then react so differently.

[Dreamsexual]

.

[Dreamsexual]

On ‎5‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 8:34 PM, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I suppose it's like the difference between holding your own arm (which sometimes I do when I have anxiety to ground myself) and snuggling with your loved one(s) (which is the preferred option but not always possible). I mean I'm guessing here, but that's what it sounds like.

I.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

3 hours ago, Dreamsexual said:

I love 'cuddling' myself.  Since I'm a sort of a form of auto, that's almost the same thing as being with my lover ... Kinda awesome. 

There always has to be an outlier doesn't there?

[a_subtle_reality]

From a sex-favourable ace perspective (kinda newish to this mind you - that seems to describe me, but "take a grain of salt" and all that), it's really pretty similar, but there are a couple of bonuses:

- variation / novelty (though by all accounts many people fall into routine, so that may not always be much difference in a long term relationship)

- interaction with another person (there's a social aspect peripheral to it, presuming it's with someone you know and like - or you like social interactions with strangers)

- altruistic pleasure - the feeling you get when you do something nice for someone, and they like it, can apply in this situation just as it might if someone likes a cake you made for them. (as distinct from the vicarious pleasure sometimes described... pretty sure, anyhow)

- cuddles tend to also happen (if you like that)

Also a (kinda obvious) tmi:

Spoiler

- different physical sensations... feeds into the variation/novelty point, though the specifics could be better or worse depending on your personal preference.

 

An analogy which fits very well for me would be the difference between playing tennis with a friend vs. hitting the ball against a wall - same but different, and you're also (hopefully) hanging out with someone you like.

 

Obviously a lot of that doesn't generally apply to the one night stand / prostitute scenario of course, so isn't really sufficient explanation for why people do those - and 'friends with benefits' can apparently be more focussed on the 'benefits' than the friendship 🙄 but anyhow...

[Grumpy Alien]

Masturbation does absolutely nothing for me.

[chairdesklamp]

I do also know that especially for guys, since we can't just hug and stuff with friends as easily, that sex is one of the scant few ways we're allowed gentle touch in a machoistic culture. I don't even have friends in the area (friends all still in NorCal, just acquaintances here), and it'd probably take care of touch starvation if I was allo and into cruising. (Ignore that most cisgays are super exclusionist and wouldn't touch a trans guy with a ten foot pole for a moment)

 

So just needing human touch might be a reason. At least, that's my guess. I don't even really know if it's possible for me to enjoy and not just tolerate partnered sex, so I'm not saying this from experience, here. 

[pma01]

I myself personally prefer masturbation over sex, sexual intercourse doesn’t do much for me, so I prefer not to engage in it.

[ElasticPlanet]

On 5/5/2019 at 4:26 PM, Miss Okapi said:

I wish that humans could reproduce by a kiss on the cheek.

I'm so glad that a kiss on the cheek doesn't condemn me to... reproduction.

[ElasticPlanet]

On 5/5/2019 at 12:33 PM, CBC said:

Football isn't played in ballparks.  

Huh? Isn't all sport played in a sportsballpark? Oh well.

[ElasticPlanet]

@CBC I'm sure it is. I expected it'd be that or something like it. I was just being silly.

[Grumpy Alien]

7 hours ago, ElasticPlanet said:

I'm so glad that a kiss on the cheek doesn't condemn me to... reproduction.

Same, especially since the majority of people who have kissed my cheek are old ladies related to me somehow.

[QueenOfTheRats]

Because for most people, sex is hotter than masturbation.

[jay williams]

3 minutes ago, QueenOfTheRats said:

Because for most people, sex is hotter than masturbation.

Some of us think that masturbation is hotter than fu*king!

[Philip027]

Hence the "most people"

[jay williams]

16 hours ago, Philip027 said:

Hence the "most people"

But I like to think that "most people" here in AVEN prefer masturbation! 🙂

[Philip027]

As far as pleasurable feelings go, both are meh to me compared to the far simpler act of hopping in a nice cool shower

 

For me masturbation doesn't even work without another person taking part, so it's already questionable to me whether it's even masturbation or it's just sex at that point

[jay williams]

56 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

As far as pleasurable feelings go, both are meh to me compared to the far simpler act of hopping in a nice cool shower

 

For me masturbation doesn't even work without another person taking part, so it's already questionable to me whether it's even masturbation or it's just sex at that point

I would call it sex, and there is nothing wrong with calling it sex. I have indulged, and it is more fun than intercourse far as I am concerned. Mutual masturbation is way underrated. Screwing is way, way overrated, from my experience and from my point of view. My lack of interest in intercourse is the biggest single reason why I identify as asexual or graysexual or weirdo-sexual! You could call me a teetotal-non-copulation-sexual! LOL