dancingeologist Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 I'm a 37 yr old childfree aro/ace and in many ways I feel like I have achieved all the big goals I had for my life - University B.S and M.S degrees, meaningful career helping people and the environment, owner in my company, owning my own house, backpacking around the world, doing volunteer work, running marathons for charity, and adopting a dog. I have a great life but after spending the last 20 years focused on achieving the goals I set for myself it feels strange to not really have any big goals anymore. The goals I set these days seem smaller - make a new friend, go somewhere or try an activity I've never done before, perform a random act of kindness... Most of my friends are romantic/sexual and their goals seem to be focused around marriage and/or children. I'm curious for those not on the spouse or kids path, what are your goals in life as you get older. Link to post Share on other sites
blunose2772 Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 My big goals are to move out of the apartment I currently live in and to find a significant other for companionship but no pressure for sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Yoruka Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Move out, travel the Baltics and Asia, then possibly live in Norway (Oslo) for a while, maybe Amsterdam. Link to post Share on other sites
Aimeendfire Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 My goal is not to have children . Be debt free and go live in a cottage in the woods with the cow -bears. Link to post Share on other sites
J-RO Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 8 hours ago, dancingeologist said: I'm a 37 yr old childfree aro/ace and in many ways I feel like I have achieved all the big goals I had for my life - University B.S and M.S degrees, meaningful career helping people and the environment, owner in my company, owning my own house, backpacking around the world, doing volunteer work, running marathons for charity, and adopting a dog. I have a great life but after spending the last 20 years focused on achieving the goals I set for myself it feels strange to not really have any big goals anymore. The goals I set these days seem smaller - make a new friend, go somewhere or try an activity I've never done before, perform a random act of kindness... Most of my friends are romantic/sexual and their goals seem to be focused around marriage and/or children. I'm curious for those not on the spouse or kids path, what are your goals in life as you get older. I'm a little younger at 29, but I've been told many times, that I talk and act older than I am, so grain of salt. I still have a few personal goals left to accomplish; build an off grid house, qpr/longterm relationship (I'm asexual, but still a bit of a hopeless romantic), grow my company, etc. But for me, my goals have always been legacy focused. I've found ways to work towards paying my experiences and ideals forward, so most of my goals are focused in trying to make things better for people where I can. Link to post Share on other sites
nerdography Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Finish paying off my debt, build a substantial savings, and moving to either Canada or Sweden and buying a tiny apartment or condo. And adopting 2-3 cats. Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Live long and prosper. Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 I've reached a lot of my goals too, and I don't really know where to go from here. I still have a lot of career development to aim for, but my level of hope or investment in that has waned over the past year or so. I feel like I undersold myself too early on. My goals when I was entering university were very realistic - get a degree in a field I was interested in but wasn't a big money maker, get a shitty job/shitty apartment for a couple of years before having a breakdown and spending my savings on travel, go back to school, and get a better career after that. I did all of those up to the last one, which was slow to come...which maybe has affected my level of optimism for those goals, and made it so I don't really want to talk about it. I get what you're saying about aro/ace and childfree goals seeming smaller once other parts of life are established. I got a dog this year, and that is as big as I'm going to go in the family direction. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Not leaving a trace. Link to post Share on other sites
UkeNut Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I'm 42. I think maybe at this point learning to enjoy the things I've accomplished and worked hard for might be a good goal. Link to post Share on other sites
Spotastic Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 @dancingeologist That's a lot to have accomplished at 37. I'm 36 and am just now working on going to school for a job that I would be able to do from home because of my physical disabilities. I was in the Marine Corps for 5 years, which was great in some ways and horrible in others. I've owned my own online business with my wife, but things happened to necessitate closing it down. I floundered without really knowing what to do with myself for several years before deciding to use my GI Bill and go to school. I am going to school for business analytics and the eventual goal is to become a gaming analyst for a video game company in the future. It'll be a late start to things, but I often tell myself that Stan Lee didn't come up with Spiderman until he was 40. Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamsexual Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 On 5/16/2019 at 6:13 PM, Spotastic said: Stan Lee didn't come up with Spiderman until he was 40. Link to post Share on other sites
Hylethilei Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 To become a sound design and get paid full time to do it, but that requires school or credentials and working for free for years and years can take its toll but hopefully it will work out by the end of the year *fingers crossed* Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 On 5/16/2019 at 7:13 PM, Spotastic said: @dancingeologist That's a lot to have accomplished at 37. I'm 36 and am just now working on going to school for a job that I would be able to do from home because of my physical disabilities. 56 minutes ago, BornSlippy said: To become a sound design and get paid full time to do it, but that requires school or credentials and working for free for years and years can take its toll but hopefully it will work out by the end of the year *fingers crossed* I'm in my mid-thirties and striving to become a freelancer - be my own boss, do what I love. I haven't had much of a career, let alone a happy life, so this may be my one chance to take charge of my life and do something I can be proud of and happy with. Often enough I think that it's useless pursuing this goal because it seems to be out of reach: my CV is a mess, as is my health. But you guys give me hope. I'm not alone in this. Link to post Share on other sites
Hylethilei Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 3 minutes ago, kiaroskuro said: I'm in my mid-thirties and striving to become a freelancer - be my own boss, do what I love. I haven't had much of a career, let alone a happy life, so this may be my one chance to take charge of my life and do something I can be proud of and happy with. Often enough I think that it's useless pursuing this goal because it seems to be out of reach: my CV is a mess, as is my health. But you guys give me hope. I'm not alone in this. Hey just do what you love to and at try your hardest, I find that people respect your drive more than your successes in life. Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 @BornSlippy Thanks for the encouragement. The thing is that I've lost my self-respect by doing what others deem 'respectable'. So ... I'm done with that. Besides, 'success' means something different to everyone, anyway. 🙂 Link to post Share on other sites
Hylethilei Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 1 hour ago, kiaroskuro said: @BornSlippy Thanks for the encouragement. The thing is that I've lost my self-respect by doing what others deem 'respectable'. So ... I'm done with that. Besides, 'success' means something different to everyone, anyway. 🙂 Hey, no problem anytime. Link to post Share on other sites
Chamomile_Serenity Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 hmmm I'm always working on something big goals, small goals, often times ongoing life long "projects". I personally think "make a new friend" is much bigger and juicier than it seems. My goals nowadays revolve around practically and service in fulfillment of my higher purpose, "pay my quarterly taxes so I don't have to pay the penalty fee" lol "walk the whole park and stop to smell the roses while doing it" "go on a spiritual retreat" " learn ASL so I can expand the community I give back to and in a way that is meaningful to them" "treat myself to ice cream this week because I earned it darn it!" I just look for work/life harmony nowadays. Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 I just have small ongoing goals. Self discovery, finding more ways to enjoy life and improving on those I've found already. Curiosity makes sure life is never stale, since there are always more things to discover 😺 Luckily I don't need big goals. Always hated 'default' ones, like 'career' for example. Was always hostile to the idea of 'must have a lot of money to buy a lot of stuff with'. I have never been ambitious and just been always enjoying small things whenever I've managed to free myself from annoying people. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 New goal 🥅 (pun alert) Thanks to @Homer, view the Greenland football championships Link to post Share on other sites
FindingTheta Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 I''m in my mid 30's, and up till three years ago I worked as an arborist. Unfortunately I can feel my body starting to break down, and without my body intact I won't have anything to fall back on in that career so I decided to go back to school in order to double major in Computer Engineering and Mathematics. The goal is to become a computational scientist that specializes in cryptanalysis, or specialize in cryptography to secure radio frequencies. I've got lots of time to decide, so I'm not in too big of a hurry to choose. Still, its a goal to graduate. I also picked up drawing, so I'd love to develop my artistic ability to balance out all of the Math and Physics I do. Link to post Share on other sites
griffinej5 Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 I’ve also achieved a decent amount of the big things. I’ve got a Masters Degree. I’m still debating the PhD thing, but the debt idea terrifies me. However, maybe in the next few years, I could save up the money to be able to do that without significant debt. Paying off current debts should be achieved soon. My student loan should be paid off by the end of next year. Maybe sooner if I can begin overpaying it a bit more again (I was paying double on it, but stopped doing that in order to buy a newer car). I did just finish paying for my stupid phone, and then turned the extra from that toward the car payment. I am in position financially now where I can afford to save and invest, but I’d like to be able to do more of that. I want next time I need to buy a car, to be able to afford to just buy it. I’m not talking anything fancy, but just being able to do it would be great. It was nice this time that I was able to just do it without having to think much about where the money would come from. I just switched it from one place to another. Other stuff, I want to title my dog in several sports. I want to get another dog, and also do the same with that one. Right now, I am candidate for testing for 3rd degree black belt in taekwondo this year. I want to prepare for that and be able to do it. I got back into it last year after a long time away. A small thing, but It’s still something for me for me to actually work on, I want to be able to do splits again. Mostly, I wanted to see at first if I’d be able to do it again. The right is close. I don’t know if the left will get there or not. Link to post Share on other sites
- Saph - Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 I still have a lot of unfinished business: better health, less stressful job, time to garden and cook organic food, having a pet, more hobbies where I can socialize. I used to have it all BUT in life nothing is to be taken for granted. I will think about it before I set the next ambitious goals for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 I want to make some kind of scientific discovery, and I want to see a volcano in real life. But mostly, I want my existence to have been more of a benefit to those around me than a burden. Link to post Share on other sites
MochaBaye Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 My biggest is to move countries. I am in the process of developing a company now. Launching and getting to profitable is the second biggest goal at present. And I guess connecting with a significant partner round it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace Of Hugs Posted July 28, 2019 Share Posted July 28, 2019 Survive until retirement, and then enjoy my remaining years. Link to post Share on other sites
Demi Dad Posted September 8, 2019 Share Posted September 8, 2019 my goals after learning i have heart failure and a heart that doesnt close properly has changed my goals completely. being a father of three young men all i want is to be is a guide for them and be a good father but now i want to enjoy life and be free to express myself and be honest with them i have told 2 of my sons i am Hetroromantic Demisexual i am ready to tell my third son the youngest and who also carries a lot of my emotional trates & phisical trates ,to let him understand this is my normal and who ever when ever he find somone he want to be with is alright with me . after that is said and done i want to live, talk to my freinds ,make new freinds and what ever comes of that comes. ( life is short care about those that care about you, Help to change lives by being present in others, and when a freind or family members is low help to raise them up) and dont forget to be positive and love yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 Nothing here. Link to post Share on other sites
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