Research Request: Race and Asexuality

[Jarle]

Hi all, 

 

We received the following from @TyrPrane:

 

Quote

Hey all,

Relating to the Aces of Color thread, I am also seeing ace being conflated with whiteness. I am a white queer ace and I am working on a project through my Women’s Studies major analyzing how AVEN is predominantly white, exploring how aces of color and black aces navigate AVEN differently than white aces. I am looking to explore the intersections of race and asexuality and am interested in challenging the narrative and common perceptions of ace being conflated with white identity. I am looking to analyze how asexuality has come to be understood in order to uplift counter knowledges through the intersectionality of ace identity. I am hoping to push the conversation around asexuality and identity so that we can better understand how AVEN has operated as a predominantly white space and to think about how AVEN can be a safe(r) space for everyone.

 

I hoping people, primarily aces of color and black aces, would be interested in going more in depth in this discussion and would consider posting to some or all of these questions, or sharing general experiences of being an ace of color and/or being a black ace and/or how different identities interact with you ace identity.

 

If anyone would like to email me directly rather than sharing here on the forum, please email me at tyrp2@pdx.edu

 

What identities do you hold and do you see them interacting with and affecting your ace identity?

 

Do you see your race and ace identity influencing each other? How do they effect one another? 

 

If you are a person of color, how is being ace viewed in the communities of color you share identity with?

 

How is being ace viewed in other communities you share identities with? What are these identities?

 

What (if any), ace representation do you see and how does this representation make you feel? Do you identify with this representation?

 

Do you feel different voices are heard differently in this space?

 

Do you think certain voices hold more power/authority/weight on AVEN?

 

Have you witnessed power dynamics within the ace community and on AVEN specifically?

 

What are things that would make you feel more supported in and by AVEN?

This study has been approved in accordance with the rules for class projects. 

[Simpleton001]

1. I'm not ace except online in AVEN, even amongst Queer friends you get looked on crazy so I just go with the flow and if it gets too awkward I leave so none of my other identities even remember I'm ace. 

 

2  It's not just my race that affects my ace identity, my main existence does. Extremely few people think anything other than sexual everything is sexual, you're either having same sex or opposite sex nothing like no sex at all. 

 

3. They don't care really, but they still have their questions and the relationship is awkward for those who are ace and proud.

 

4. Like I said earlier extremely few are able to hold it in their minds that no sex at all is conceivable so there isn't a representation the representation is no representation. 

 

5. No. 

 

6. No. 

 

7. No. 

 

8. To know that AVEN exists is already enough support.  

[KathyHoh]

What identities do you hold and do you see them interacting with and affecting your ace identity?

I cannot openly talk about asexuality in my community primarily because sex is not openly discussed and is a taboo to do so. That makes it extremely difficult for an Ace from my birth country (somewhere in Africa) to identify as such at an early age. Even after I figured it out after years of pondering why I am different from other people, it is difficult to come out because explaining asexuality involves talking about sex. So it is very difficult to come out to my close friends and left my relationship with immediate family awkward. 

Do you see your race and ace identity influencing each other? How do they effect one another? 

It is not my race per se, but the culture in my community. It is expected that a girl brings home a nice guy and seen as a mark of success. Some families even do not prioritize educating girls with the notion she will some day become dependent on her husband. I was lucky enough my parents invested in my education so I do not have to rely on a man for a living. I cannot imagine an Ace struggling to fulfill a sexual mans needs while dependent on him.  This is obviously stemmed from the conception that every woman is sexual by default. Otherwise parents would not force a relationship on their daughter if they knew it is destructive to her happiness and mental well being. 

 

If you are a person of color, how is being ace viewed in the communities of color you share identity with?

It does not matter in the Ace community

How is being ace viewed in other communities you share identities with? What are these identities?

same as above

What (if any), ace representation do you see and how does this representation make you feel? Do you identify with this representation?

 

Do you feel different voices are heard differently in this space?

NO

Do you think certain voices hold more power/authority/weight on AVEN?

NO

Have you witnessed power dynamics within the ace community and on AVEN specifically?

NO

What are things that would make you feel more supported in and by AVEN?

I think AVEN is sufficient support. It saved my life. I came across AVEN during the most trying moments of my life. My ex accused me of cheating or being in love with someone else due to the lack of passion in sex, and not wanting it frequently or whatever allosexuals have with their SO. He also called me a liar and it hurt me so much and the relationship fell apart leaving me a single mum. I always knew I am different from other people but could not figure out why. AVEN provided me with an "AHA that explains everything" moment. I posted my story and got the empathy I deserved and never got from friends and family. I am extremely grateful.