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Menopause Makes Me Not Care


Apathetic In Auburn

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Apathetic In Auburn

My doctor has confirmed that menopause can shut down a woman’s libido. I don’t care if I ever have sex again. And dating has become such a joke I quit. I’m either going to meet someone through divine providence or not at all. 

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  • 2 months later...
imnotafreakofnature!

I only discovered that asexuality was even a thing a few years ago - eight years into my second marriage. I really believe I've always been asexual, but my husband wants to believe that it's just menopause and that there's a pill to fix it. The biggest difference I've noticed is my willingness. Before menopause, I was more willing to try to accommodate him, even though I really didn't want to. Since menopause, though, I've lost even the willingness.

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I've yet to reach that point, but given I've never really had a crazy labibo, I can imagine that would be my trajectory as well. I found I loss interest in even dating, in 2011. I was content, because I didn't have to be responsible to anyone else, including the 'duty' relationships demanded. But as I wrote in my introduction post on this site, a chance talk with a friend planted the seed of possibly dating someone on the Ace perspective. So, here I am.

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  • 2 weeks later...
imnotafreakofnature!
On 11/19/2019 at 5:28 PM, toujours said:

Pfffff as I see it, my biggest problem will be lack of moisture in my hair.

That is actually a problem after menopause. I use good quality conditioners, but every time I go for a haircut, they always mention how dry it is. Dry skin is a problem, too. 😒

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Sorry, new and confused person here ....

 

I fully understand the menopause issue. Can the drop in libido come before menopause? 

 

When I was younger, I felt different. After 30 my interest dropped more and more. Eventually, there wasn't much more than hugging in my marriage. My husband took a bit but in a few years started an affair. When he confessed, I think I was more concerned that he would want her to move in since their 5 year affair was still going on and he was telling me he was poly. 

 

We decided to try to fix things and started seeing a counselor. After learning a lot about poly and others, I started to think. The counselor is pushing for us to get intimate. How do I tell my husband and the counselor that I think I might be asexual after age 50 and 20+ years of marriage?

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@bintik, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂

 

The Asexual Relationships, and SPFA forums may have useful insights here 

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