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Did you think you might be Bisexual?


Iam9man

Did you think you might be Bisexual?  

181 members have voted

  1. 1. Did you think you might be Bisexual before identifying as Asexual?

    • Yes
      98
    • No
      72
    • Other - Please add comment
      11

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No, I didn't really bother labelling myself until I found the label "asexual" and realized, "Oh, that's what I am."  I had known of other labels like "bisexual" beforehand, but it hadn't really occurred to me to apply them to myself.  

I never even thought of myself as "straight", simply because sexuality didn't cross my mind at all.  

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Fluffy Femme Guy

I just thought I was a really odd straight person.

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Lady.Saturnina.94

I had considered myself to be bisexual before I realized I was ace. I'm aceflux, and as I experience it I feel like I shift from asexual to bisexual and vice versa. I have times when I feel more ace than bi, and times when I feel more bi than ace. Needless to say, this put me through a lot of confusion before I came across the term aceflux.

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firewallflower

Wow, 'tis about a 50/50 split. 😮 I would not have guessed this was quite that common.

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5 hours ago, firewallflower said:

Wow, 'tis about a 50/50 split. 😮 I would not have guessed this was quite that common.

I suspected it would be quite high, even if some aces (like me) considered it then rejected the notion pretty quickly. There may also be a generational divide, with more vocabulary and understanding amongst younger generations.

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Yes, because I figured I was equally (un)attracted to everyone, therefore I was likely bisexual. But I also made the erroneous assumption that everybody else was actually just dating and such for the form of it, so I didn't exactly have a great handle on things when I was a teenager. (By my early twenties I'd figured that I simply didn't care for the whole relationship thing at all, although I wouldn't have the terminology for it for a few years yet.)

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Yes, I was quite confused about how I was feeling when I was 18. 

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I entertained the idea for a very brief time, but then accepted the fact that I'm ace.

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I identified as demi before and that was only because I came across a random article.

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I remember being unsure of whether I was straight or bi when I was 10 and I started questioning myself then I went "oh nah i'm straight I'll get a crush when I'm older"

 

skip to 14 year old me hearing the word "asexual", googling it and bam - i'm asexual :)

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ExquisiteMystery
On 5/7/2019 at 2:13 AM, Iam9man said:

There may also be a generational divide, with more vocabulary and understanding amongst younger generations.

Yes, definitely. When I went to college, the choices were Gay/Straight/Bi/Questioning, they had just added Trans into the published acronyms.

So, like others, I felt like maybe I just needed to meet more people. So, having no preference, picked Bi (would have said Pan, had that been a choice). Not being sex averse, I had partners, but never had the accompanying stuff.  I remember joking that maybe I was actually attracted to trees, mythological creatures, or extraterrestrials, so that must be why I wasn't into relationships/hookups/obsession with sex.

It definitely caused a big "Duh" moment, when I realized people were using asexuality in reference to humans now.

It's also one of the reasons I feel so strongly about visibility. I fought hard for Bi rights, and I want people to not be wasting life, feeling wrong without knowing all the options.

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20 minutes ago, Miss A said:

It definitely caused a big "Duh" moment, when I realized people were using asexuality in reference to humans now.

Can relate to this!

 

21 minutes ago, Miss A said:

It's also one of the reasons I feel so strongly about visibility. I fought hard for Bi rights, and I want people to not be wasting life, feeling wrong without knowing all the options.

Yeah, from what I can see asexuals have a lot in common with bisexuals on the visibility side; especially around asexual/bisexual erasure.

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I voted other so here's my explanation if you're someone who reads things out loud to themselves please try to read this all in one breath if you're not then imagine it being said all i one breath: I went with the default of heterosexuality then wondered if I was bisexual because I liked guys and girls equally then realized I didn't like guys the same way most of my friends do so I wondered if I was gay but didn't like girls in that way either then finally figured out the asexual part and since I still think guys and girls can be equally as cute must be biromantic. *Dramatic gasp for air*

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  • 2 weeks later...
EngineeRaven

Nah, I had the solid belief that I was the straightest straight person on earth, because I didn't really want to have sex with girls. Then I realized I didn't want to have sex with boys either. Then I realized that both are fine for a relationship.

(Someone give me a map for my own feelings, lol.)

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I can't understand why if you don't want sex with either men or women, you then decide you want sex with both.  Which is what bisexual means.  

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5 hours ago, Sally said:

I can't understand why if you don't want sex with either men or women, you then decide you want sex with both.  Which is what bisexual means.  

Can’t speak for others, but in my case I am indifferent to sex, but romantically and aesthetically attracted to women only. I am repulsed at the thought of personally having sex with men. However, when in my teens I took half a step back from actually thinking about sexual acts, I noted I felt indifferent to men and women, so “the same”. In those moments I could consider I was bisexual, but the moment I then thought about actually having sex I’d snap out of it pretty quickly.

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  • 3 weeks later...
ExquisiteMystery
On 6/2/2019 at 8:33 PM, Sally said:

I can't understand why if you don't want sex with either men or women, you then decide you want sex with both.  Which is what bisexual means.  

Basically, because sex education/ health classes in the United States are fairly worthless. They (and parents) don't differentiate between libido/sexual desire, aesthetic/romantic/sexual attraction, and teach nothing about emotional health, recognizing abuse, or thinking about alternatives. There is also a hefty dose of abstinence (is best), religious views on sexuality, and hardcore heteronormativity.

So you graduate high school, and have to sequentially guess yourself into and out of identities, until you find ones that fit.

People often have NO idea what it is/was like without a sexually diverse, picture filled internet.

So bisexuality is often a stop for friendly Aces who want petting/cuddles/attention from people, but don't have a gender preference.

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Never even occurred to me. It kinda went like: 

 

- at about 23: I have zero interest in ever trying sex with a man again. Guess I'm a lesbian. *shrug* 

- proceed to never have sex with anyone ever since and not missing it

- hearing about asexuality: yeah THAT's it but I still want a bosom friend(TM)

- after learning about the split attraction model: ok I figured it out I'm homoromantic and ace

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AceMissBehaving

I thought I might be lesbian briefly because I wasn’t getting “the feelings” I was supposed to with dudes, but that passed because I wasn’t getting them for women either.

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At one point yes but for me It wasn’t an even split I would have to say 70% towards women but more romantically and 30% for men less romantic though I found easier to have a more physical relationship cuz I didn’t need to do that much.

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Anony-moose

I considered the possibility of being bi or pan when i was questioning, but came to a different conclusion.

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From about 2000 on, when i consciously realized I wasn't interested in sex, I spent several years questioning who I was attracted to, so yes, I definitely thought i might be.

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I'm attracted romantically to both men and women. I started understanding it the same time I started thinking about being asexual. 

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That thing about disliking both equally, that.  At least the idea of sex or romance with anyone of any gender. I could find anyone aesthetically attractive, but that’s as far as it goes for me. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
wirewalker
On 6/2/2019 at 5:33 PM, Sally said:

I can't understand why if you don't want sex with either men or women, you then decide you want sex with both.  Which is what bisexual means.  

I couldn't understand either, which is why I was so confused. I decided I was bi because I felt the same towards everybody, but was baffled as to why the thought of sex was unpleasant with literally anyone. Then I found asexuality.

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  • 1 month later...

I must admit I wasn’t expecting this to be this common.

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J. van Deijck

No, not much. I started thinking I was homosexual, though, because I clearly preferred men.

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I identified as asexual first, and pretty soon after started identifying as biromantic. So kind of the opposite, but also a combination of the two I guess.

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  • 5 months later...
gemrisingbitch

I used to think I was biromantic before settling on aceflux/greysexual lesbian. 

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