Iam9man Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 I’m curious how many aces thought they might be bisexual as they felt the same about men & women (i.e. not interested) before they worked out they were asexual. I hadn’t heard of polysexuals/pansexuals when I went through this loop in my teens, so please read bisexual as “two or more genders”. Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Lol yes that was me 100% :L Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 I did, but not for very long. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted April 28, 2019 Author Share Posted April 28, 2019 I seriously asked myself the question 2-3 times in my teens as I felt fairly neutral/indifferent. I reached a “no” each time as I had no interest in having sex with a guy, whilst I was open to the idea with a girl as I knew I was romantically attracted to girls. There was enough doubt to ask the question again though, as I knew I didn’t feel the same as my heterosexual friends. Link to post Share on other sites
natural blue Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 12 minutes ago, MichaelTannock said: I did, but not for very long. same here. Link to post Share on other sites
Knight of Cydonia Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Yes, exactly as you said. Didn't feel any actual attraction, I just "felt the same" so I assumed that carried over to being bi. Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Yep, absolutely. I also assumed I was bi (hadn't heard of Pan at the time either). Link to post Share on other sites
Member131995 Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 I did, actually I openly identified as bi but only for a few semesters because I quickly understood it to mean I was into having same sex and hetero sex. So then I was lesbian but it still didn't work and that's when I started seriously searching for answers and found AVEN😄 Link to post Share on other sites
Ytterbium Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Nope, I've only ever been attracted to girls. Link to post Share on other sites
kiaroskuro Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 No, because I realised I'm bi pretty much at the same time that I realised I'm ace. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeletonducky Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 "Hey, I think I'm bi" "Why, do you like girls and boys?" "No. I dislike them equally" Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Nope, I knew I had no interest whatsoever in humans so "invented" asexual before I realised it already existed. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 53 minutes ago, Skeletonducky said: "Hey, I think I'm bi" "Why, do you like girls and boys?" "No. I dislike them equally" You sound like me. Link to post Share on other sites
Ldlelee Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 Definitely. For at least a couple years. I had a friend who was bisexual and was coming out with her girlfriend, and I was extremely jealous and couldn't understand why. It got me to thinking that I felt the same about both women and men, so I was probably bi. It was a big thing for me at the time. Then the sex repulsion really started to kick in, and a few years later, I discovered I had been totally, totally wrong. 😅 I just liked her platonically. A lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted April 29, 2019 Author Share Posted April 29, 2019 Why is “this poll closed to new votes”? I didn’t add an end date and it only started yesterday 🤨 Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 16 minutes ago, Iam9man said: Why is “this poll closed to new votes”? I didn’t add an end date and it only started yesterday 🤨 Not sure why that happened but I have reopened it. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted April 29, 2019 Author Share Posted April 29, 2019 46 minutes ago, iff said: Not sure why that happened but I have reopened it. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Sea Lemon Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 I went the other way round - thought I was ace for 5 years before realising I'm actually bi. Link to post Share on other sites
TheCatBehind Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 I guess I kinda did? At the time I needed a label and since I didn't particularly care about the gender of the person I might end up with, I just took the bisexual label and went with it. Didn't feel quite right, but here we are Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted April 29, 2019 Author Share Posted April 29, 2019 8 hours ago, TheCatBehind said: Didn't feel quite right, but here we are Definitely relate to this! Link to post Share on other sites
Salmiakki Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 I've thought I was bisexual, also thought I was biromantic asexual, actually I've identified with a ton of different kinds of labels in the past Link to post Share on other sites
affogato Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 I did for sure did, I identified as bisexual for 14 years before finally doing more research into my the ace spectrum. Oddly, enough an article sent to me as a joke sent me down a rabbit hole. One of my friends always joked around with me because I said I was aroused by stimulating conversation with people I was emotionally intimate with. She sent me an article as a joke about sapiosexual but something about demisexual came up in the article. I looked it up and it clicked. Later when I came out to my sister she exclaimed "Oh well yeah! You have always been like that, I think you were the only senior in your high school graduating classes that didn't want to be sexually active." Sometimes other people see it when you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 I don't understand why anyone would think they were attracted asexually to males and females when in fact they didn't want sex with anyone. ??? No, I never did. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted May 1, 2019 Author Share Posted May 1, 2019 Just now, Sally said: I don't understand why anyone would think they were attracted asexually to males and females when in fact they didn't want sex with anyone. ??? No, I never did. Fair comment, and I think the answer in my case is “it’s complicated”! I am indifferent to sex, but romantically and aesthetically attracted to women only. I am repulsed at the thought of personally having sex with men. However, when in my teens I took half a step back from actually thinking about sexual acts, I noted I felt indifferent to men and women, so “the same”. In those moments I could consider I was bisexual, but the moment I then thought about actually having sex I’d snap out of it pretty quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
LucindaC Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 I think this is where the line between sexual and romantic attraction gets a bit blurred. I don't think what gender(s) you're attracted to has a bearing on sexual desire? Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted May 1, 2019 Author Share Posted May 1, 2019 13 minutes ago, LucindaC said: I think this is where the line between sexual and romantic attraction gets a bit blurred. I don't think what gender(s) you're attracted to has a bearing on sexual desire? No idea, I don’t experience sexual attraction 😊 Link to post Share on other sites
Fighting_For_Us Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 On 4/28/2019 at 12:44 PM, Skeletonducky said: "Hey, I think I'm bi" "Why, do you like girls and boys?" "No. I dislike them equally" ^^^ This! This was me for about two years Link to post Share on other sites
firewallflower Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 20 hours ago, Sally said: I don't understand why anyone would think they were attracted asexually to males and females when in fact they didn't want sex with anyone. ??? While I never particularly thought I was bisexual myself (beyond general questioning/uncertainty, as in "I could be straight, gay, bi, tofu, I have no idea"), it does actually make a decent amount of sense to me that someone asexual might assume themselves bi/pan, for pretty much the same reasons that others have mentioned here. There's a pretty strong socially ingrained presumption that everyone will experience [sexual] attraction to one sex/gender or another—or to more than one, as in bisexuality. Particularly as many people still have never heard of asexuality as an identity/orientation, there can be an impression that one is either heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual, those being the only conceivable orientations in some cases. (I.e.—and yes I know this is an oversimplification and bi people can still have preferences but I'm just talking about popular [mis]conceptions here—Preference for opposite sex = heterosexual; preference for same sex = homosexual; no preference for one over the other = bisexual.) Especially given that to some asexuals, sexual attraction/desire may be so foreign that it may not quite even compute exactly what it is that they're "missing"—I can see how having a lack of preference (even if it's a matter of "I don't want sex with anyone regardless of gender," which is of course in stark contrast to "I want sex with people regardless of their gender") could lead someone to assume they must be bi. Something along the logic of: "Well, I know I'm not straight, and I know I'm not gay, so what does that leave? Must be bisexual, I guess." That's what I suspect it would have been in my case, at least, had I identified as bisexual. But yeah, it does definitely seem counter-intuitive at first. Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted May 2, 2019 Author Share Posted May 2, 2019 2 hours ago, firewallflower said: Something along the logic of: "Well, I know I'm not straight, and I know I'm not gay, so what does that leave? Must be bisexual, I guess." Yep, this basically. Link to post Share on other sites
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