AllTimeBubble Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 So I'm going to university in September and I'm considering joining their LGBTQ+ society but I dont know if they will accept me as an asexual aromantic as a part of the group. I know theres a lot of debate around whether we're in the community so I dont know whether I should go and see it or not, I'm just scared of being rejected. Help Link to post Share on other sites
HonoraryJedi Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 Ask them. Easy for me to say from a safe distance, but that's what it boils down to. Send an email to the society's contact person if they have one. Call it "part of the +?" or something and ask if you can join as an aromantic asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Captain_Tass Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 I think that you should go. They will most likely welcome you. I don't think that anyone will be hostile IRL. People are sometimes quick to speak and judge online, but in a space such as an LGBTQ+ university society where everybody's looking for community, sympathy and friends with whom they share experiences, it's unlikely that you'll face hostility. They might ask questions and be curious at first, but that will be the end of that. You might even meet another ace, another aro or another aro-ace there! You never know! Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 17 minutes ago, HonoraryJedi said: Ask them. Easy for me to say from a safe distance, but that's what it boils down to. Send an email to the society's contact person if they have one. Call it "part of the +?" or something and ask if you can join as an aromantic asexual. Yeah, I think that's a good idea, it's easier for me to ask via email for sure, I am not good at talking to people Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 14 minutes ago, Life Of Tass said: I think that you should go. They will most likely welcome you. I don't think that anyone will be hostile IRL. People are sometimes quick to speak and judge online, but in a space such as an LGBTQ+ university society where everybody's looking for community, sympathy and friends with whom they share experiences, it's unlikely that you'll face hostility. They might ask questions and be curious at first, but that will be the end of that. You might even meet another ace, another aro or another aro-ace there! You never know! Yeah, I'll certainly go atleast once, I hope that's true It would be good to meet an ace or aro person irl 😁 Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 Thank you @HonoraryJedi @Life Of Tass for the help I'll reply here when I get to uni and tell you what it was like 😁 Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 My school's Pride Alliance was entirely accepting. Of course, it helped that I wasn't the first ace in the pack. Link to post Share on other sites
CajunAce Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 I think you should at least try. I'm part of the one at my uni and they're very accepting of me. Of course, there might be some gatekeepers around, but don't let that deter you from making new friends who understand what it's like to be "different". Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 I was a bit cautious about approaching my work’s LGBTQ+ group for the same reason, especially as they used just LGBT on most of their material. When I saw that they were actually LGBTQ+ I joined, and was warmly welcomed (“I’ve never met an asexual before, welcome!”). Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 3 hours ago, CajunAce said: I think you should at least try. I'm part of the one at my uni and they're very accepting of me. Of course, there might be some gatekeepers around, but don't let that deter you from making new friends who understand what it's like to be "different". Yeah, I'll certainly try, I was going to email the society first but couldn't find any contact info, itll have to be a jump in the dark but hopefully it goes well Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 3 hours ago, Iam9man said: I was a bit cautious about approaching my work’s LGBTQ+ group for the same reason, especially as they used just LGBT on most of their material. When I saw that they were actually LGBTQ+ I joined, and was warmly welcomed (“I’ve never met an asexual before, welcome!”). Aww I'm glad you were welcomed, I hope the same happens for me Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpkins_and_penguins Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 @AllTimeBubble I am in the exact same boat. I'm not sure that the LGBT+ society is that big at the uni I'm hoping to attend and I'm nervous about being accepted by them. Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 3 minutes ago, Pumpkins_and_penguins said: @AllTimeBubble I am in the exact same boat. I'm not sure that the LGBT+ society is that big at the uni I'm hoping to attend and I'm nervous about being accepted by them. Im glad we both have the same experience to look forward to/be terrified of, I hope they accept you, I think we both have to be brave and go see what it's like 😁 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpkins_and_penguins Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 Just now, AllTimeBubble said: Im glad we both have the same experience to look forward to/be terrified of, I hope they accept you, I think we both have to be brave and go see what it's like 😁 That's the plan🤞 Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 5 minutes ago, Pumpkins_and_penguins said: That's the plan🤞 Fingers and toes crossed for the both of us 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 I'd say they should be accepting. AVEN members have been invited to give presentations on asexuality to university LGBT groups Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 I hope they will be accepting, especially if they make a habit of emphasising the '+' element. If you met another ace that could be really cool! Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 46 minutes ago, Skycaptain said: I'd say they should be accepting. AVEN members have been invited to give presentations on asexuality to university LGBT groups That is comforting, I hope they accept me 13 minutes ago, CustardCream said: I hope they will be accepting, especially if they make a habit of emphasising the '+' element. If you met another ace that could be really cool! Yeah I hope so too and yeah, that would be amazing! Link to post Share on other sites
Bloc Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 I would just go there and see for myself, but I understand that this is scary. It was at least for me. But they were welcoming. In the last years the group got more diverse from mostly gay and a few bi cis men and two cis lesbians. To a mixed gender group with quite a a number of bi people, a few trans and non-binary people and ace spec persons. Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 28, 2019 Author Share Posted April 28, 2019 6 hours ago, Bloc said: I would just go there and see for myself, but I understand that this is scary. It was at least for me. But they were welcoming. In the last years the group got more diverse from mostly gay and a few bi cis men and two cis lesbians. To a mixed gender group with quite a a number of bi people, a few trans and non-binary people and ace spec persons. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I hope they're welcoming, I'm glad they were for you 😁 Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted April 28, 2019 Author Share Posted April 28, 2019 On 4/27/2019 at 1:43 PM, HonoraryJedi said: Ask them. Easy for me to say from a safe distance, but that's what it boils down to. Send an email to the society's contact person if they have one. Call it "part of the +?" or something and ask if you can join as an aromantic asexual. So, I tried to find contact info for the society but it's weird because the society isnt listed on the SU website but it is listed on the unit's website and on this newspaper thing they sent me for offer holders, so I have no contact info. Might just have to go in blind Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted October 14, 2019 Author Share Posted October 14, 2019 So, update time I asked "hey do you accept aces?" The response was "umm, well, I'm ok with it personally but I know alot of people arent so put down your number and I'll ask" I never got contacted so, yeah, not ideal Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted October 14, 2019 Share Posted October 14, 2019 20 minutes ago, AllTimeBubble said: So, update time I asked "hey do you accept aces?" The response was "umm, well, I'm ok with it personally but I know alot of people arent so put down your number and I'll ask" I never got contacted so, yeah, not ideal 👎 Link to post Share on other sites
Captain_Tass Posted October 14, 2019 Share Posted October 14, 2019 27 minutes ago, AllTimeBubble said: So, update time I asked "hey do you accept aces?" The response was "umm, well, I'm ok with it personally but I know alot of people arent so put down your number and I'll ask" I never got contacted so, yeah, not ideal Oof... I'm sorry you had to go through that. Know that we all have your back though! Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted October 14, 2019 Author Share Posted October 14, 2019 2 hours ago, Tassputin said: Oof... I'm sorry you had to go through that. Know that we all have your back though! Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted October 26, 2019 Author Share Posted October 26, 2019 Update: So my friend talked to someone in the society, they said there was an ace person there last year and no one had a problem and also said they would add me to the group chat. So yeah, despite the shaky start I think I'm finally accepted, hopefully. Link to post Share on other sites
twetzel59 Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 27, 2019 Share Posted October 27, 2019 There will likely be people sharing sexually difficult stories so just be sensitive of that. LGBT groups that tend to not be accepting are trying to protect people who need to feel safe expressing their sexual shame and stuff, so as long as you are supportive and make them feel it is safe, should be fine. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 I joined my university's LGBT group, and they literally did nothing. I joined online and there was literally no information on get togethers, or club meetings, or anything. It was literally just a way for people to say, "hey, look at me. I'm part of the rainbow alliance." People who already knew each other would hang out, but there was absolutely no support for loner people like me. I don't know what the club at your university will be like, but I recommend at least trying it. Link to post Share on other sites
AllTimeBubble Posted October 28, 2019 Author Share Posted October 28, 2019 On 10/27/2019 at 12:49 AM, twetzel59 said: Good luck! Thanks! 21 hours ago, Serran said: There will likely be people sharing sexually difficult stories so just be sensitive of that. LGBT groups that tend to not be accepting are trying to protect people who need to feel safe expressing their sexual shame and stuff, so as long as you are supportive and make them feel it is safe, should be fine. Good luck. Yeah I understand that and thank you, hopefully it goes well 6 minutes ago, Hermit Advocate said: I don't know what the club at your university will be like, but I recommend at least trying it. Yeah, it is worth a try, I feel like we probably share a few things in common, feeling broken when we were younger, not being accepted by society, lack of good representation in the media stuff like that, itll be good to talk about those things. Link to post Share on other sites
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