Non Sexual Sleep Ritual?

[DetectivePopcorn]

Before going to bed, I used to masturbate / watch porn but the more I accept myself as ace, the more this ritual grosses me out and I Just don't have interest in participating. 

 

At this point it's just a habit.

 

Have any of you had to quit the habit?

What do you do to get to sleep at night. I've been recently working out the knots in my back and I find that pretty relaxing.

Edited April 26, 2019 by DetectivePopcorn

[Salmiakki]

Things I do to fall asleep:

masturbate & have sexual fantasies of my crush

have romantic/non-sexual fantasies of my crush (so like things like cuddling and kissing)

just simply think about my crush

think about the last time I saw him

think about the next time I’ll see him

anything related to my crush really

 

It’s almost like I can’t fall asleep if I don’t think about him. So yeah this probably doesn’t help lol sorry, I have no other ways to fall asleep well 

[Grimalkin]

I usually read. Either a book, or Reddit, or check out the new SCPs. Once my brain has calmed down or I have trouble keeping my eyes open I shut everything and dream up some crazy fantasies until I doze off.

 

Wanting to quit a habit is perfectly fine, but remember that just because you're asexual doesn't mean you need to "be" a certain way. Sometimes I read erotica before going to bed. Still asexual. You can be asexual and still have a libido.

[iam135]

I ltend to fall asleep pretty easily, but I like to try listening to some relaxing music and do some stretching before bed, if I'm not too tired. Or, sometimes I just reflect on my favorite parts of my day and/or think about what I'm looking forward to tomorrow. It all helps me wind down and relax, especially if I've had a non-stop day.

 

Though, I can't say I've ever made much of a habit of masturbating and I've never watched porn (as my libido is pretty low) so I don't know if what I've suggested above would be an effective substitute. Maybe you should just treat the habit like any other and gradually decrease how often you do it? That might be easiest.

 

Best of luck to you!

[NoraGrace]

All I do is read a book or look on my iPad until my mom tells me to go to sleep. 

[fuzzipueo]

I read and watch favorite TV shows. Or I fall asleep listening to an audiobook (then have to frantically back up to find out what I missed when I fell asleep LOL).

[Karst]

Chamomile tea will make you sleepy, but it also virtually ensures that you will need to get up in the middle of the night to wee.

[SweetTart]

It's not really a habit for me personally, just something I do sometimes because it feels good v('-' )v

If I just want to go to sleep instead I usually listen to asmr or gamegrumps compilations. It helps me keep my mind from overworking and keeping me up.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

My non healthy sleep ritual is to stay awake until I'm literally exhausted and then collapse.

[abandoned-account]

Play video games on a handheld system.

Or use a mobile device to watch videos about stuff I like. Like retro tech. Beautiful MS-DOS machines... the sound of typing on a keyboard... mmmmmm.

[Grumpy Alien]

I’m sexual and don’t masturbate (I just don’t like it/don’t feel any need to) so this has never been a habit for me. Shrug

[chairdesklamp]

I've never understood the reading thing--a good book has me in tears laughing or on the edge of my seat. Fiction, anyway. I read textbooks for the heck of it, too, which has the wheels of my brain spinning as I learn.

 

I have a sleep disorder and have been on meds for it for almost 20 years, but while I can't fall asleep without a growing medicine combo (yay for tolerance...), it's still hard.

 

Meds for chronic sleep disorder aside:

 

I used to put on some very low-tempo music soft in the background (The bulk of Tokunaga Hideaki's Realise album is great for this, mostly except コバルトに消えたブルー, but I don't seem to remember much else at the moment. One of his I can recommend to sample might be, just paste this into the You Tube Google bar: 徳永英明 壊れかけのラジオ Like that, playing barely above a whisper. 

 

Before that, when I was completely cut off from availability of stuff from the old country, something nice and safe-feeling on the TV on mute, turn the brightness knob down.

 

Now, either would keep me awake. Room must be pitch-black, only hum of an air conditioner or fan. 

 

It's also important to turn the lights down a couple hours ahead of time and avoid computers for at least an hour before lights out. The thing is, we're meant to be daytime creatures, so bright lights tell your brain it's time to be awake.

 

You can also get "blue light filters" for your digital stuff. Unlike TVs (or at least CRT ones, and all CRTs, but I still use CRT TVs), modern LED/AMOLED/whatever screens are heavy in blue light, which really keeps us awake. I never did great in science, so I just trust the scientists about it, but look into getting blue light filters for all of your modern screen devices. 

 

Hope this helps!

[chairdesklamp]

13 hours ago, Vee. said:

Play video games on a handheld system.

Or use a mobile device to watch videos about stuff I like. Like retro tech. Beautiful MS-DOS machines... the sound of typing on a keyboard... mmmmmm.

I own and keep running 8-track players and B&W portable TVs.

 

I learned Windows 98 for work, and all but the Windows 8 welcome screen and Opera browser of my computer is pretending to be Windows 98. But the Office 97 and some other stuff are the actual programs of the era. I have the Jungle Plus! theme at the moment. 

[Queer_Queen]

17 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

My non healthy sleep ritual is to stay awake until I'm literally exhausted and then collapse.

This is me 😂

[Pandark]

Books

Chamomile tea

Reflecting/processing things that happened during the day (often social situations, I find them most difficult to process)

When I'm afraid I like listening to recordings of Tibetan singing bowls, sometimes I turn on a small light

[abandoned-account]

12 hours ago, chairdesklamp said:

I own and keep running 8-track players and B&W portable TVs.

 

I learned Windows 98 for work, and all but the Windows 8 welcome screen and Opera browser of my computer is pretending to be Windows 98. But the Office 97 and some other stuff are the actual programs of the era. I have the Jungle Plus! theme at the moment. 

Ah yes, love the Plus! themes haha. Do you have Classic Shell for a 98-esque start menu too? (I wonder if that even still works on Win8)

[chairdesklamp]

@Vee. Yes, I do! It also gave me my Start Menu back instead of the nonsense Windows 8 does. I also created a place called "My Computer." 

 

I actually went and even changed the system font to something more Windows 98-like.

[abandoned-account]

2 hours ago, chairdesklamp said:

@Vee. Yes, I do! It also gave me my Start Menu back instead of the nonsense Windows 8 does. I also created a place called "My Computer." 

 

I actually went and even changed the system font to something more Windows 98-like.

Woah, I must learn your skills

Windows 8 is barf. I'm glad I never had a system running on it.

[chairdesklamp]

@Vee. I taught myself over a month I was off work for health reasons. It's learnable. 

 

I tell people Windows 8 looks like it should be Fisher-Price Branded

[DuskFire]

3 hours ago, Vee. said:

Ah yes, love the Plus! themes haha. Do you have Classic Shell for a 98-esque start menu too? (I wonder if that even still works on Win8)

What is this strange language!?

 

WITCHCRAFT!

[DetectivePopcorn]

Update: I don't have anything against masturbating. I'm trans and touching my genitals is stressful for me. It used to be tolerable before I came out but now the dysphoria makes me miserable before bed. I developed the habit when closeted. 

 

I didn't really want to bring being trans into the original post but I also don't want people to think I'm against the concept. I don't want suggestions on ways to get more comfortable with it. That's not my goal. I just wanna stop. 🙂

[anisotrophic]

I think the answer is probably just... stop. The habit should fade.

 

My mom would say, "the best cure for insomnia is not getting any sleep". She's a bit of an insomniac, and a bit cynical.

 

I get to sleep at night by being totally exhausted by hellchildren (probably changelings) that will wake me at 6am complaining about the daystar. Probably not the best reason to have kids.

[FaerieFate]

On 4/26/2019 at 3:26 AM, DetectivePopcorn said:

Before going to bed, I used to masturbate / watch porn but the more I accept myself as ace, the more this ritual grosses me out and I Just don't have interest in participating. 

 

At this point it's just a habit.

 

Have any of you had to quit the habit?

What do you do to get to sleep at night. I've been recently working out the knots in my back and I find that pretty relaxing.

I set the dishwasher to start in an hour, take a shower (so that the dishwasher doesn't steal my hot water), catch up on the news (via Youtube and PPS on AVEN), catch up on Youtube videos from my subscriptions, if I have time I read or listen to an audio book, then go to bed. I find that the extra time on the computer gets me comfortable in my bed which helps me fall asleep faster.

[Philip027]

I use windows 8 and it's fine, dunno what's so bad about it.  It isn't much different from 7.

 

If you think the start menu in 8 is bad, you should see 10's... 10 has a shitload of other problems though so it almost feels superficial to bitch about its start menu.

 

(But yes, I do use classic shell as well)